Kinda Serious Question

Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Amy, Nov 18, 2002.

  1. #1
    Amy

    Amy LPA VIP LPA Über VIP

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    ok guys this might be long, im not sure, but i would like it heaps if u read all of it and replied. i dunno if it will make much sense.. but hopefully it will.

    Well i know this girl. She lives with her family, her mum, dad, brother and sister. They all hate her and they are always yelling at her and hurting her in almost everyway possible. she hates it and she would rather be dead then where she is now. she has had to put up with been yelled at all the time, hit, pushed around and heaps of other things like that, since she was about 6 and she is now 14. she cant live like that anymore because it is getting worse everyday and she gets even more hurt then she use to. only 2 people know what happens to her and one says that what is happening is just nothing and that she should be able to live with it and that she should get over it. but she cant and i think that if he had to live with it, he couldnt take it either. because of what that person said, she doesnt want to tell anyone or get any help coz she thinks thats what everyone else say/think. She cant really tell anyone else because if she does they will hurt her heaps more, like they did when they found out she had told 2 people. thats why i posted this her because they know nothing about the site and have no way of finding out that you all know. she always pretends to be happy and hypo so everyone thinks there is nothing wrong. everyone believes her coz she is good at it coz she has been pretending for so long. there has only been one time when it was really bad and she showed that there was something wrong but she wouldnt tell anyone what was wrong.

    anyway... my question is what should she do, remembering that she cant tell anyone? thanx 4 reading this if u did and i like hope u reply.
     
  2. #2
    Bryan

    Bryan Guest




    I think I know who the girl is.

    And my advice would be, to just remember that things always get better and theres always a reason for certain things happening. I think this girl should go to a Good Charlotte concert and hear what Benji says before they sing "Hold On" he says a speach about suicide and how it solves nothing. My friend who saw it, said it was very good and it helped him. But anyway, just remember that things always get better and theres a reason for things happening. If the girl did something to herself(i.e. suicide) it would solve nothing, personally, i'd rather grow up and become some big executive thing who makes a crap load of money a year and shove that down my parents throat then kill myself which solves nothing.

    Well, I dunno if that made any sence, but eh :chemist:



    Last edited by Chester 76 at Nov 18 2002, 10:26 AM
     
  3. #3



    contact the authorites. <my best advice possible
     
  4. #4
    Bryan

    Bryan Guest




    Yes, but that would be telling someone and she doesnt want to tell anyone. Although that would be the best answer probably, they would get her away from that.
     
  5. #5
    Nikki

    Nikki I have no idea what is going on LPA Super Member

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    Damn...I wish the person would of told me about this...

    This is something I can truly and honestly relate to...

    What did I do? Well...I held it all in...acted as if nothing happened...all that hurt and anger built up inside me...and I ended up feeling really really low...so low...well...you can guess...but luckily it didn't happen.

    Solving this ain't easy. I know it's hard to talk. But once you DO...it's worth it. There was only one person I told at first...when it first started happening...but then it got worse. And that one person...who I though cared for me and loved me...did nothing...

    So then another person found out something was wrong. And this is where I held it in...so I ended up feeling even worse...But this guy didn't give up...he forced me (well not quite) to tell him what had happened...In between many logs off and false away messages I told him...it was hard...no...it's was nearly impossible to talk about something so personal...And I wasn't used to it...I'm normally the one everyone talks to when they need a shoulder to cry on...but this time...it was me feeling the pain.

    So I told him...and I cried for ages...regretting it...but the guy actually made me feel better...He talked about it...He tried telling me jokes and making me feel better...He even gave me something to look forward to...Yeah...Me finally going back home...after living here for...well...one hell of a long time.

    Although I didn't want him to tell anyone...he did anyway...and soon I had many other people giving me support...Ok I admit...I was first realy angry because he told them...but later on...I felt a little bit better...it showed that people cared...

    Eventually...The first guy found the big bruise on my arm that I got a few days before...and...well he regretted everything he said...and we made up...in more ways then one. We've become closer than ever before since then.

    There was however...one last hurdle...The Man that hurt me...I still felt insecure around him...but I had to do something. I had to talk to him...ask him what made him do it...

    It took a while for him to come out...so I gained a couple more scars from being punched, kicked, burned with lightbulbs etc from trying to force it out of him...but he did it...and he told me why he did it...


    I can't quite say it's a happy ending...But it's better than what could of happened...that's for sure. Now there's only one last thing to decide upon. Weather I'm going to stay in France for the rest of my life. At first...when all this was happening...I could stop dreaming about it. Seeing my [real] dad and family there...going around on my motorbike and stuff like that. But in the years that I've lived here, there are so many things I've become attached to. The place I live in...the friends I've made...the places I've been to and of course...that guy...Aaron. It's going to be a really hard decision for me to make...yeah...that's for sure...but it's something I have to do.


    If you ever want to talk to me face-to-face Amy...you have my e-mail...and you can talk to me....or anyone else about any of this...we're here to help you...you can trust us with everything you have...all's I can say is
    Talk when you're ready :)


    ~*Katrina*~

    (Aaron even gave me a song that he said I should listen to...maybe you should too...... Massive Attack-Protection)



    Last edited by Kat at Nov 18 2002, 06:23 PM
     
  6. #6
    Derek

    Derek LPAssociation.com Administrator LPA Administrator

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    Like Kat said, It's not healthy to not tell anyone about it. All it's going to do is eat her up inside and cause her to hold the pressure inside until she probably and most likely has a breakdown. The best thing to do, is to look for the family OUTSIDE of your family your living with like Kat did. See if there's a uncle or aunt, or grandmother or grandfather that wouldn't mind taking her in to thier home and taking her away from this mess. The only way to get through this is to find someone who isnt involved...and is close to you, move in with them..or at least till u can find a safe haven, and notify the authorities. She cant keep living under that roof if she's getting abused like this, she has to do something before the emotional stress becomes so severe that it traumatizes her for the rest of her life.

    So my advice to her is: find help outside of your family...maybe through other relatives like Kat might do, the more you hold it in..the more it's going to kill you inside. Trust me...living with someone else is sometimes...the best and only thing you can do.

    Good luck, to her, and I'm here if she needs some support. :(
     
  7. #7
    Magick

    Magick Ambient

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    The only way out is for you to tell someone. It might take a while for the courage to build up so the truth can finally be revealed, but that's okay. The right thing has to be done, 'cause she can only fool herself for so long.

    *Is willing to sign onto MSN to offer support* :'(



    Last edited by Magick at Nov 18 2002, 09:55 PM
     
  8. #8
    LProckon

    LProckon Well-Known Member

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    i agree with people who say the only way out is to tell the authorities. but i can understand if she might want to for fear or more pain. i've been through some crap (and its still going on), and it's probably not as harsh as your friend. but going back to what Chester said, Good Charlotte's song "Hold On" is very meaningful. i listen to it a lot when i'm feeling down. but anyway, i talked to my friends who are older and wiser and they help out a lot. i have this one friend who went through similar to what i'm going through and it's really comforting that someone who went through all this pain come out of it strong. oh man, this doesn't help out so much does it.
    *sigh*
    i'm so sorry you're friend is going through this... :(
     
  9. #9
    Amy

    Amy LPA VIP LPA Über VIP

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    yeah hopefully u all would of guess that was me not someone i know. i only said it was someone i knew coz i didnt know what yous would think and say. it was kinda true coz one of my friends does have to put up with #### like this as well... but it isnt as bad. i should talk to her about it but she doesnt know what happens to me.

    i know that suicide solves nothing but i cant live like this anymore. 8 years of it is enough. i would like to go and live with one of my relatives but they all know about it and dont care and the only person i am really close to atm lives in Canada. i am not close to many people coz i never tell them what is wrong and they get pissed off with me and yeah i havent been good friends with anyone for a long time. i would like to tell authorities and people like that but i cant. i cant because of what they would do to me if i did and coz im not sure if anyone would believe me coz my dad and them would just say they didnt. well they would believe me when i showed them all my bruises and scars and my wrist (coz it is like almost broken at the moment) but im still to scared. i wish i never told the guy that said it was noting and i should get over it. i dont trust him and i think he has/ is going to tell other people. i just dont know what to do :(



    Last edited by EvilAmy at Nov 19 2002, 03:52 PM
     
  10. #10
    Bryan

    Bryan Guest




    8 years wow, thats way too long for something like that to go on. If none of your relatives care, i'd try talking to some other adult that your close to(like your best friends parents). Maybe they would take you into their home for awhile. But the thing with the authorities, if you showed them bruise's and cut's, they will beleive you. And your parents will get in trouble, and you can get away from all that. You will be put somewhere else where its safer and away from all that crap. Just dont do anything stupid to yourself.

    What I would do if you really didnt want to tell anyone, is i'd try and talk with my parents. See, I have a good mind for talking face to face with things that I know are wrong, and I always get my mom to give in because of that. Like piercings, she doesnt want me to get them, but everything she says I have an answer to that is right and she knows is right. So maybe if you asked your parents why and asked them why they hate you so much when you didnt do anything to them. And see what they say. But be far enough away in case they would get angry and attempt to hit you or something.

    Another idea, would be to get a job. You wouldnt be home as much(which gets you away from that more) and you'd be making some money. And saving up money would be a good idea so that when you are 18(ur in australia i think, so i dunno if thats when ur legally an adult, thats how it is over here in the US) you can move out and get a little apartment with one of your friends or something.

    Well, good luck in all this, all of us here at the LPA are here for you :)
     
  11. #11
    Nikki

    Nikki I have no idea what is going on LPA Super Member

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    Yeah...that's true...we'll help you every step of the way


    Just remember that:
    You're never alone
     
  12. #12
    Amy

    Amy LPA VIP LPA Über VIP

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    one of my friends parents might take me into their home for awhile. i dunno. i am just scared because they might tell the authorities or something. i might try talking to them. i kinda did try and talk to my dad last night but that just got me in more trouble and i almost got my arm broken so i dont know if i will again. i wanna get a job, but im not old enough. i think over here u need to be 14 and 9 months to get a job but i am only 14 and 2 months. when i turn 18, i am going to live in canada with my friend. (LP_DuDe is his name on these forums) i have enough money already to do that.

    thanx guys. i really appreciate all of u posting in here to try and help me and for caring.
     

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