hi. this is a short story i've written for a school assignment. this is the first draft. i'd appreciate any and all feedback. thanks. ... The beating sun peered through large clerestory windows beside a young Carmine as he worked to finish a programming assignment for school. Carmine had worked for hours to complete and, once he had done so, sought his father’s permission to join his friends in “Veldt”, an online virtual reality video game. “Sure, but don’t be playing for too long,” his father said as he watered seedlings from his garden. Carmine always received insults from his friends because of his father. They always told him that his father was crazy and should have been put into an insane asylum. Strangely, Carmine agreed with them, simply because he never understood his father’s work. Carmine’s father grew up out in the country and thus was never subjected to the technologies his son was. As society grew more and more reliant on technology, Carmine and other country children were forced to adapt to the change, something which he didn’t necessarily agree with. After his divorce with Carmine’s mother, he perused a new house with enough room to grow a garden out the back. It was hard and expensive work due to the fact that a lot of the seedlings he wanted were not readily available on the market. He now spent most of his day outside in the garden, avoiding technology at all costs whilst everybody else had grown accustom to it. As dawn approached on this particular day, the beautiful blue colour of the sky slowly drained away as the sun sunk behind the lofty skyscrapers afar, reminding Carmine’s father that he had to prepare dinner. The mumbles of Carmine’s voice as he talked with his friends led Carmine’s father to the nursery, made specifically for Carmine’s virtual reality video game console. “Carmine, are you planning on having dinner with me tonight?” he asked. “No, thank-you, dad,” Carmine slurred in reply. Carmine’s father spent almost an hour preparing a meal for himself made from fruit and vegetables from his garden. It was soon after that Carmine cooked himself a pizza in the instant-oven. As Carmine ate his dinner, he streamed the global news. “Onto breaking news now, we please ask that all viewers remain calm and attentive, as this is extremely important. It has come to the attention of governments worldwide that a deadly system virus has been injected into the global computer network mainframe which has been attacking various system motherboards causing global network shortages and blackouts. As authorities work to stop the virus, we must prepare for the worst if in case the authorities are unable to stop the attack. Without network connection and power, food and water stock will be unreachable which will ultimately be devastating for all citizens of the world. We ask that during this time, you please remain calm and wait for further information from your local governing body.” Carmine was petrified with fear, something he had not felt in his lifetime. Quickly, but subtly he went to sit with his father in the living room. He sat quietly beside him, pretending as if he had heard nothing. His father’s presence made him feel as if he wasn’t alone and was safe. The following day, Carmine was awoken by an unfamiliar sound outside. Carmine went outside in his pajamas and saw his father mowing the lawn, something he was unfamiliar with. To his father’s surprise, Carmine joined him outside for the first time since they had moved in years ago. The two of them talked outside for hours. Carmine’s father explained why the garden was so important to him and why he chose to avoid technology. He expressed his love for nature. Carmine listened attentively. “Look at us, so in love with the way we are,” his father said. “We’ve forgotten who we are.” Both Carmine and his father spent that night watching old documentaries. Carmine expressed a particular interest in “Africa”. He told his dad that the lions were his favorite. The next morning, the sun grew bright and beamed a shimmering light into Carmine’s bedroom, waking him up much earlier than usual. Surprised that his father was still in bed, he snuck outside into the garden and collected some fruits for breakfast. He prepared a delicious meal for his father and himself, marking the first time he has eaten from his fathers garden. When he woke up shortly afterwards, Carmine’s father smiled. Later that day, with the sun burning tall amongst the beautiful denim blue sky, Carmine decided to tell his father about the news he had heard days prior. Fear ran down Carmine’s spine as he told his father that the authorities had still not managed to stop the virus and that a shutdown was imminent. “Let’s go outside,” his father said comfortingly. Both Carmine and his father went outside and watered the garden. The sound of the television mumbling inside was distracting for Carmine, before it went silent … He tapped his father on the shoulder. They exchanged looks of confusion and comfort. They both went inside. The television was off. They amberley walked the house. There was no power anywhere, except for the television. The screen was black, with a small white scribble in the center. Carmine looked at it closer. “Happy technology.”