Music dEVOTED

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by RyRy, Jul 10, 2014.

  1. #1
    RyRy

    RyRy LPA VIP LPA VIP

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    Based off a poem I made nearly a year ago.

    https://soundcloud.com/weeknightpsychopath/devoted


    Produced / Mixed /// MKH
    Vocals / Lyrics /// wEEKnIGHT pSYCHOPATH
    -------------------------------------------------------
    SIT PRAY KNEEL BOW LIE HIGH
    COME AROUND CALM DOWN TURN AROUND
    AND MEET YOUR FUCKING MAKER

    I WAS DEVOTED ONLY COMING IN THROUGH MY BLOOD
    I WANTED LOVE ANOTHER TAKE OF HIM FROM THE TOP
    HE WOULDNT JUST COME DOWN FROM MY DREAMS
    I HAD TO MAKE HIM UP AND WATCH THE BELIEVERS BELIEVE

    I AM THE ALPHA I AM THE KING
    I AM THE GOD OF YOUR DEAD DREAMS
    IN THIS DEVOTION YOU PRAY AND KNEEL
    IN THIS DEVOTION I PLAY TO STEAL
     
  2. #2
    Zak

    Zak HEY, EVERYONE! GET IN HERE!

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    Sick w0bs m8
     
  3. #3
    lime treacle

    lime treacle You are not alone Über Member

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    I'll be honest here, I don't like the vocals.
     
  4. #4
    hawk

    hawk because the internet LPA Super VIP

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    catchy as shit.
     
  5. #5
    Decay

    Decay Well-Known Member

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    I'm liking what I hear! A couple of things, though (for your consideration):

    - the intro (first 10 seconds) could use some work, I feel like the bass synth (not the sub-bass) could sound a bit more interesting.. either that or come up with a different intro.
    - I like the Trent Reznor-esque vocal delivery but they are at times off beat and not in key. This is especially true during the verses. This definitely needs work, although (again), I do love what you're going for. Maybe try layering the vocals a bit more as well, so they sound a bit fuller.
    - the drums become more chaotic as the track progresses. The vocals follow this. I like that. But the melodic side of the track should do too. Introduce more melodies and add more layers as you near the end. You also have this "fake ending" at 2:47, but the part that follows isn't nearly as crazy as I hoped it would be. Go all out during those last few seconds, until 3:06, where the track can slowly start "dying".

    I hope this helps. Keep up the good work!
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2014
  6. #6
    RyRy

    RyRy LPA VIP LPA VIP

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    Ok

    I appreciate the honesty!

    Haha, good to hear :D

    Great feedback man! I'll definitely keep these things in mind, and see what I can do in the future to improve.

    Thank you everyone, for commenting! I appreciate it. :awesome:
     

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