Corrupt A Wish

Granted, now it is spelled /\/\ () \_/ |\| T /\ | |\| |) [- \/\/

I wish Facebook wasn't being a dweeb right now.

 

Granted, but now Twitter is being a dweeb

I wish I could ride a dragon

 

Granted, but it eats you.

I wish my hand was a dolphin.

 

Granted, but you cant move.

I wish my head didn't ache.

 

Granted, but then you get hit by a car.

I wish I had some gas money.

 

Granted, but there is no gas station.

I wish for LPs new album will be released today.

 

Granted, but it will be their last album.

I wish that I had a breakfast burrito.

 

Granted, but you drop something heavy on your foot.

I wish that my room wasn't so warm.

 

Granted, you now live outside in a tent.

I wish that it was time for forth meal!

 

Granted, time to pump your stomach!

I wish that I had another Pop Tart.

 

Granted, but Nyan Cat was hiding in the box, and you ate it.

I wish Nyan Cat was dead.

 

Granted, but he there comes back to life even more annoying.

I wish i hadn't spilt juice on my keyboard.

 

Granted, and now... OMG you just got mauled by a bear!!!

I wish that Sonic has a speedy recovery.

 

Granted, but I misinterpreted that, and got him a copy of Eminem's album Recovery, and played it at a speedy pace.

I wish I was the King of England.

 

You succeed in becoming King. Songs are written about you, and people will talk about you for centuries to come. You will go down in history as the worst King that ever lived.

I wish I wasn't lactose intolerant.

 

You succeed in becoming lactose intolerant. People laugh, people rejoice in this occasion, and drink shots of milk and Jack Daniels, but then all the cows died and no more milk products can be made.


I wish I had a million dollars.

 

*sips goat milk*
Here is you million dollars. The government has increased their tax rates for random out of the blue prizes and now you are left with $4.25.

I wish I had a wish.

 

Your wish is my command, your wish is to blow up the moon, which in turn causes a ginormous tsunami that wipes out the entire US West Coast.

I wish I had a sailboat.