Revelation

[N'tensified]

[Note: If you can't find a beat to it, this song was made up using only turntables-mixers, electric guitars and an electric base, and drums. The Verses are rap. Everything else (the chorus, and bridge) is rock-ish.]

Revelation.

[Verse 1]
Getting rid of the pain,
without coming back to them.
Slaying the vain,
acting like the soldier I was back then.
Never seeing the real face,
I would see inside of me.
Carrying around the weapon,
just to watch them flee.

[Chorus]
Just to see this day,
I would kiss my life away.
And say hello to death.
Live in this creation,
and live in revelation.
I feel so fresh.
(Like I always did.)

[Verse 2]
Leaving my tag,
on every victim I killed.
Wasting all this bliss,
from all the space I have filled.
Never seeing the real face,
I would see inside of me.
Carrying around the weapon,
just to watch them flee.

[Chorus]
Just to see this day,
I would kiss my life away.
And say hello to death.
Live in this creation,
and live in revelation.
I feel so fresh.
(Like I always did.)

[Bridge]
[Whispering voice]
Just to see this day,
I would kiss my life away,
living in this creation,
I hate this Revelation
[Fading "I hate this Revelation"]
[In a screaming voice.]
I HATE THIS REVELATION!

[Chorus x 2]
Just to see this day,
I would kiss my life away.
And say hello to death.
Live in this creation,
and live in revelation.
I feel so fresh.
(Like I always did.)

I HATE THIS REVELATION!

[X-Clusive]

I think this one is the best one out of the others u made.

[From The Inside]

Originally posted by N'tensified@Apr 21 2003, 04:29 PM
[Note: If you can't find a beat to it, this song was made up using only turntables-mixers, electric guitars and an electric base, and drums. The Verses are rap. Everything else (the chorus, and bridge) is rock-ish.]

Only? That's pretty much a full band set there. Also, it doesn't help me find a beat.

[Andrea]

I like it!

[Will]

Originally posted by From The Inside+Apr 21 2003, 08:28 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (From The Inside @ Apr 21 2003, 08:28 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--N&#39;tensified@Apr 21 2003, 04:29 PM
[Note: If you can&#39;t find a beat to it, this song was made up using only turntables-mixers, electric guitars and an electric base, and drums. The Verses are rap. Everything else (the chorus, and bridge) is rock-ish.]

Only? That&#39;s pretty much a full band set there. Also, it doesn&#39;t help me find a beat. [/b][/quote]

[From The Inside]

Okay, I finally read it and I didn&#39;t really like it. A lot of chorus and the verses are short. I also sense a bit of Linkin Park in the first verse.

"Getting rid of the pain,
without coming back to them."

I&#39;ve heard these 2 lines somewhere in Meteora, I know it. It sounds like "Figure.09" can anyone guarantee this?

"acting like the soldier I was back then."

Calling yourself a soldier is a lame move to me.

"just to watch them flee."

Let me finish it for you: "hip-hop heads, take a walk with me..."
:whistle:
Sorry, I&#39;m really mean, huh? I&#39;m just being critical. It&#39;s better than going:
"That was great&#33;" When truthfully I don&#39;t think it was. And even if people give you positive feedback, they should delve as to why. Details are important. I&#39;m such a rambler tonight...