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Thread: Amy

  1. #1
    Great Job! Nick's Avatar
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    Amy

    It's odd how a few words can inspire something like this to come out of me

    Oh and there's a reason this happens.
    It's so sweet, the truth?
    Never thought twice to return to him.
    Twice counted ten times and start again.

    This was not your dream
    This was your nightmare.
    Your biggest fear
    You wanted it every time.
    Never a thought of being mine.

    You sometimes recall time, slow, fast.
    You are now distant from me
    That will only last.

    Chances fade in the dust when blown away.
    Crawling through ash, you have spent your last token on love.
    It failed, and now you lose.

  2. #2
    To me, this didn't flow right and there wasn't any consistency. Well, that's just my opinion for you, but other than that I loved the metaphor "Chances fade in the dust" that was a real good mental image right there.

  3. #3
    Great Job! Nick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silly Sarah View Post
    To me, this didn't flow right and there wasn't any consistency. Well, that's just my opinion for you, but other than that I loved the metaphor "Chances fade in the dust" that was a real good mental image right there.
    It doesn't have to.

    To me, it flows.

  4. #4
    Banned Dean's Avatar
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    It flows really really well, to me.

  5. #5
    Run for your life. Daniel's Avatar
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    I like it, Nick. Whatever your particular "style" of writing is (don't quite know how to explain it), it really appeals to me.

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  6. #6
    bread crumbs & white stones
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silly Sarah View Post
    To me, this didn't flow right and there wasn't any consistency. Well, that's just my opinion for you, but other than that I loved the metaphor "Chances fade in the dust" that was a real good mental image right there.
    ... This is like the pot calling the kettle black. How ironic.

    I liked it a lot, Nick. It was really good, as is almost all of your other stuff.
    So... I'll keep searching for a place called home.
    I'll rip my roots from this earth into the unknown.
    Is it for the dreams I chased or the ones I caught?
    This mystery, this misery is killing me.
    So, now, I'll leave behind a murder scene.
    My life isn't real; it's just s silhouette.
    And, when the sun goes down, I won't exist.

  7. #7
    Great Job! Nick's Avatar
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    Wow, thanks guys haha.

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