Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

Kevin's courage has actually inspired me to confess something myself.

I wasn't sure if I should ever admit this on LPA, but because I can see that the majority of people on this forum are truly outstanding people, I've decided to go for it.

When I was younger, say between 12-14 I was a hugely insecure person when it came to popularity and appearance. See I've never liked the way I look, I've always been a fairly big person and even though I've had some great experiences with certain ladies, I've never been one of those people who could really go and put myself out there for the girls (how the hell Dave does it I'll never know. ). Anyhoo in this time period I was going through some rough shit which I wont go in to because it's besides the point. I guess I kinda acted out by lying about certain things to make myself feel big and get some attention whether good or bad.

I signed up to LPA around a month short of my 14th birthday and I feel ashamed to admit that during my first year on the boards, I lied about alot of stuff. I figured that no one would care if I told a few mistruths here and there to big myself up a little bit. This included a story of a girl named Sarah as some of you might remember.

I said that at 14 years of age we were a tight, in love couple and that we gave our virginities to each other which resulted in her being pregnant. I also said that she ended up having an abortion and becoming seriously ill as a result. I even spoke to certain people outside of LPA about it including Dave and a few others and even wrote fucking pieces of writing to express how I was supposedly feeling. The fact is that that was all a lie. In reality Sarah was just a made up person based on a girl who at the time I was madly in love with. The stories I told on LPA were just certain senarios I'd imagined in my mind. I know it's fucking pathetic and wrong at that, but I guess I was just young and confused at the time.

I quit all that bullshit my second year into LPA so no one really has to worry about similar things happening again. Since then the girl who 'Sarah' was based on has moved away from London and although I have had feelings for other girls since then, I've never done anything extreme as to lie about things involving them and myself so everything is fine. I've grown up alot in the past 3 years during which I have had sexual experiences with girls - It first happened just shy of my 16th birthday as apposed to when I was 14 like I told people here. None of that really matters to me anymore though. I'm no longer some snivelling little punk who felt it was cool to take advantage of a great community and lie to them about certain things to make myself feel important.

I'd like to take this oppertunity to apologise to everyone I misled with any of the bollocks I said in my first year in LPA. I feel utterly ashamed of myself for lying to you. The majority of people here are really cool people and although I don't know you personally, the fact is that I log in to LPA at least once a day so in some weird way, you're all like my online friends. I know that sounds kinda sad but oh well, I mean it.

I just hope people wont take me as a lying punk or anything like that. I was young and stupid and although that's a seriously overused cliche, I would never wanna do anything to loose you guys' respect. Particularly those who I talk to outside of LPA (considering I think mine and Dave's bands will be big and will tour one day lol).

 

Shit, I made a domino effect haven't I?

But I don't think you're a lying punk at all. We're reckless at that age, we can do anything and almost get away with it. What you may have said or done, I have no idea what exactly since I really don't remember 2004 with the exception of the shit with Angie and everything.

But in all honesty to you Luke, and to everybody...I actually did the same damn thing. It didn't take place here but it took place elsewhere with a friend I knew very well. So bad that I faked my own death, faked friends, faked family problems and problems at school. Like with Luke, I was also young, around the same age, so...for the same reasons he said, I was stupid and young as well and everything I have said or told all of you in the 2 years I have been here have been the honest to god truth.

You're a good person now, and you're also a good friend to me as well. You're my Team Rampage and Chain Gang brother. And I hope to keep it that way.

 

@Kevin: Thanks for that dude. You're an awesome person and anyone who says otherwise deserves to rot. Chain Gang and Team Rampage ftw. Btw I just realised Team Rampage bares similarities to that of Team Rocket. Perhaps we should affiliate with them.

@Derek: I had no idea that you went through that shit man. I'd never have guessed you had such a troubled past because you seem like a pretty happy person, even more so now that you're with Andrea (but then again, anyone who can't see you're happy because you're with Andrea is either blind or has a shoesize IQ ).

I've had problems with bullys in my time too actually. I look back on it now and I just think that it puts things into perspective when you go from being called weak or whatever and suffering through some emtional problems to eventually having a pretty awesome life. I think I speak for both of us Derek when I say that life is pretty peachy right now and any negative memory of the past is just a memory in the distance that wont happen again.

 

Okay guys. Group hug. Now.

 

Wow, Derek...I didn't really know that. But you know, I also completely know what you went through as well. Throughout my childhood and school, people were always picking on me (for some reason, my parents put me in a after school daycare/support program with half of the kids there people who didn't like me). For a kid that was in the Emotional Support program, that's heartache horrible for you. Good news being is that most of the kids who picked on me or gave me shit or either in trouble, or have a shit load on their plate, so i'm not crying here.

 

Karma is such a awesome tool in life.

 

You reap what you sow.

 

I think in some weird unexplainable way, it's lifes own take of what goes around comes around. It's the same with me because I know that those bastards who put me through shit all that time ago have gone on to live a pretty shitty life.

 

Maybe things really do happen for a reason. We've all been put through shit in our lives on some level, it's those who come out of it stronger that shows charecter.

 

Now you know someones not doing well when they resort to scientology.

 

Just look what happened to Tom Cruise, he ended up marrying someone who makes him look like a dwarf.

 

Underline the word can.

Percides, look at her eyes. She looks like she could boil your Rabbit if you piss her off.