A Letter to my Love
Do you know how many times I’ve wished to be near you?
Talking to myself, wishing I could hear you
Creating fictional conversations, all in my head
Making up the word I know you’ve never said
Never said to me at least, but I know you have to others
Now whenever you’re gone I feel my heart smothers
And that is a lot, for you have no reason to see me
But if that is true, do I have a reason to be me?
I act differently around you, but I’m still being myself
I’m just happy when I’m around you, there’s really nothing else
And no one else that makes me feel as I do with you
But each word you say makes me cry, makes me lie, and breaks my heart in two
I know you cannot realize how you make me feel
Even to me this pain seems so surreal
Like something so hurtful can really exist
But the sight of your face proves me wrong like a blow from your fist
“I love you, I love you, I love you,” I whisper when alone
“I need you, I need you I need you,” I want you for my own
But if I told you this, how little would you care?
Would you laugh right in my face? Or would you stop and stare?
I try again and again, wishing to know the answer
Curiosity and wishfully thinking spreading like a cancer
Maybe if keep lying I can pretend you feel the same way
But I’ll have to keep crying, I know what you’d say
The truth would ruin our friendship, such a loss and I’d have no gain
Because even though the thought of you causes so much pain
If I had to go from now back to then
I would choose to torture myself and do it all again