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Thread: Pretend

  1. #1
    I'm Not Obsessed!!! Ether's Avatar
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    Pretend
    This is dedicated to my uncle...Rest In Peace

    My eyes are sore, my hands are cold
    The thick dark mist rolls in
    My back it shivers, my teeth they chatter
    The time is now…it must begin.

    I grasp your hand, you clasp mine back
    Your head it rests down on my chest
    A single tear floats from your eye
    My heart just cannot say good bye.

    She said that it would happen soon
    I didn’t comprehend
    I thought that we had many years
    To laugh, to love, sing and pretend.

    The light flashed bright, it blinded me
    It happened all so fast
    The other car, it hit your side
    The moment wouldn’t pass

    I sit here now, my eyes are sore
    My hands are cold again
    My back still shivers, my teeth still chatter
    But now I can’t pretend…

    ..comments please...

    |ether|

    Conscience has nothing substantial, it is pure "appearance" in the sense that is exists only to the degree that it appears. Open your mind and your arse will follow. Do not fear death...for it is only the absence of pain and suffering. Humans are infact perfect. We are perfect at being imperfect. You either need to be awake for your whole life so you miss nothing, or asleep for your whole life so that you cant miss what your missing. I never let it show, the weight on me, I am sinking, I fight this more than you know!

    Can I find a peace of mind? Barricades in time. Can I find peace inside and let love come save my life.

  2. #2
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    i love it

    beautiful

  3. #3
    Good. Be magnanimous. Linja's Avatar
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    Beautiful, I thought that in one or two verses the rhyming didn't really flow, but it was good on the whole.

    Edit: True, Saunderitos. So, this was really good.

    TEAM RAMPAGE. Formerly known as tornrose&Mali&Maranwe&Sawyer&Hodgins&Panic&Malice&Psyche&Sake

  4. #4
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    i think this is mroe a release of feelings than attempting lyrical greatness i think anyway

  5. #5
    ...waiting. Arhaz's Avatar
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    it's just amazing, beautiful....great job...and sorry about your loss.
    9.9/10

    sorry about your uncle, again.

  6. #6
    Banned El Muerto's Avatar
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    Yeah, sorry about your uncle

    It's so emotional. Good job

  7. #7
    Extremely H! Vltg3 heshboy's Avatar
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    It's a strange feeling when you lose someone close to you, and just writing about it helps you exept that they're gone. Great job.
    "i think it's nice."-heshboy

  8. #8
    I'm Not Obsessed!!! Ether's Avatar
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    Thanks you guys....you are all pretty much spot on, it was just to release the hatered for myself and stuff that I had bottled up all this time....

    So parts dont rhyme, its true, but not all parts need to rhyme.....right? :wth:

    Anyways, thanks for all your support, much appreciated!!!


  9. #9
    Pure Pwnage D_A_V_I_D's Avatar
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    WOW, really powerful,

    A beautiful piece of writting.

  10. #10
    I'm Not Obsessed!!! Ether's Avatar
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    thanks man

  11. #11
    I'm Not Obsessed!!! GrafiTTied's Avatar
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    pretty cool, keep up the good work
    loved it.

  12. #12
    I'm Not Obsessed!!! Ether's Avatar
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    Thanks....everyones comments have really helped

  13. #13
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    That was really beautiful.

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