Here r a few of my poems. Ther all soppy ones but oh well lol enjoy , If you like them please dont hesitate to msg me or send me an email, [email protected] Just make sure when u send it in the 'Subject' you type some thing like LPassocitation ur poems or sumfin so i dont delete it lol, have fun! Please Please dont leave I need you here with me even though we could never be, You light my face up like the sun but when your near I seem to run, I dream of us together every night then wake up witha terrible fright, Not really a fight, more like a scare that horrible feeling you wont be ther, But I will always be here for you no matter what you happend to do. I Love You I'm writing you this poem to tell you how i feel, I dream of us together oh man i wish it was real, I tried to hide my feelings I tried to look away, I tried to deny what I felt for you but now with pride i say, I Love You Do You remember? Do you remember when you gave your heart to me, You said we'd stay this way forever that we were meant to be, But then you called it off and took your heart away, You broke my heart for the first time thats all i have to say, Now I have learnt my lesson not to get carried away, I have remembered not to say the words that broke my heart that day.
Well first things first why do u feel that ur poems are sloppy, them being sloppy or not is not much a issue as much as that u wrote them in the first place,but I liked them for the simple reason that they are really direct and simple(the words used are good),u have talent but i guess u need to believe in urself and yeah improving will follow it,hope 2 read more of ur mind's vommit(lol poetry as I call),keep it up.
Something tells me it's going to be difficult to read more of her poetry. [/b][/quote] any problem if I call poetry as mind's vommit or mind's bleed??,its how I call poetry as and I've created that name,everybody's mind vommits and bleeds.