heres my newest song, i kind of took a different approach and dont believe it worked out as well as my last couple, please tell me what you think, all replies are greatly appreciated. MISREAD Should I release the poison into my throat? On these tears I don’t float Here I am drowning Counting all the times I was frowning Im sick of living this life of pain My life’s like undulating terrain It’s pushing me so far My hearts as black as tar Free from the dead sea of eternity And those lies you made me see Should I put a gun to my head? Im sick of all those things you said Tired from the many tears I shed All the years Ive had these thoughts in my head Im sick of living this life of pain My life’s like undulating terrain It’s pushing me so far My hearts as black as tar Free from the dead sea of perpetuity These lies lay with me for infinity Should I pull this knife away from my skin? The reflection on the blade shows my sin So I cut myself deep within my skin Not with the knife but with my life
Aside from in the last verse, you shoukld say something like cut myself from deep within in stead of using skin. And there were a couple other places you used the same word twice. But other than that, really good. I'm beggining to like your stuff Gazzl-wtf.
thanks for your reply linkin theory, and your tips, ill try to write more with more meaningfull lyrics, i just hate deciding what topic to write on, so if anyone has suggestions (has to be a emotional topic but about something bad/sad) anyway i thought you would understand gazza (my name is gary) and lp (come on you should know this one)
hehe, any ideas on what topic i could write about? right now im going to write one about running away/ ignoring and stuff like that, but i would appreciate ideas for my next song.