Age gaps

[The Doctor]

For some people, age means everything in a relationship, but for others, it's solely a number. Whether both partners are approxiametely the same age, or one is much older than the other, it's always a topic for debate.

Feel free to give reasons for your choice, and to bring up anything you feel is appropriate to the topic.

I for one am curious why it is that it seems uncommon for a relationship where the female is much older than the male. I realize that it's usually the other way around because of the fact of maturity, but it still seems odd to myself. Would you ever date a younger person?

[Will]

I could care less about age.

Way back when, females always got married when they came of age, and it was almost always to a male who was much older than her.

I cannot really see why that is such a big deal anymore. It was perfectly fine by now, but now it seems like anything that used to be perfectly normal is now seen as disgusting.

I mean, there are some circumstances where it is ridiculous (i.e. someone who is 70 dating someone who is 20). But other than that, I do not see any harm as long as the gap is reasonable.

If I had a girlfriend who was, say, 13, I would not care at all. That is only a 3 year difference, which is just fine.

[Anya]

Your right about how age is a number but it mostly depends on the age really. If I ever dated a 20 year old man, that would be wrong. I'm 14, I have no idea what is running through this mans head. I don't mean to sound like i'm judgemental or anything, but it is in fact true. 20 year old men have no business with anyone that's at least 10 years younger than them.. they find someone thier age.

But I dated a guy who was 15 but was in the 7th grade, he failed. But I don't consider him as a failure.. I never really dated anyone younger than me but seeing a girl dating a guy who's younger than them isn't that wierd to me really. My brother is younger than his girlfriend, they've been dating for 5 years now and that was his very 'first' girlfriend too. Must be love at first sight I guess, lol cute. But no, I see nothing wrong with dating anyone 'slightly' older than me or younger than me. Just as long as he's not a 5 year old at least, i'm fine. :lol:

[The Doctor]

Originally posted by Will@Mar 4 2004, 05:05 PM
If I had a girlfriend who was, say, 13, I would not care at all. That is only a 3 year difference, which is just fine.
What about a 5 year difference, like an 18 year old and 13? I know some people like that, and I dont see a real problem, their relationship isnt purely sexual, theyre so happy together and I think thats great

[Mark]

I've heard half your age plus your full age is acceptable.

Like, 14 and 21.

[Will]

Originally posted by Nate+Mar 4 2004, 05:07 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Nate @ Mar 4 2004, 05:07 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Will@Mar 4 2004, 05:05 PM
If I had a girlfriend who was, say, 13, I would not care at all. That is only a 3 year difference, which is just fine.
What about a 5 year difference, like an 18 year old and 13? I know some people like that, and I dont see a real problem, their relationship isnt purely sexual, theyre so happy together and I think thats great [/b][/quote]
Like I said, if it&#39;s reasonable, then it&#39;s fine. I don&#39;t see what&#39;s wrong with an 18 year old and a 13 year old.

Now, if it was a 30 year old and a 13 year old............

[Anya]

Damnit Will, you beat me to the first post&#33; :P

[LPNeSSRGB]

Age differences aren&#39;t a big deal to me as long as they&#39;re reasonable, like Will said. I think if there is more than 10 years between people, then you&#39;re starting to push the envelope. As people get older, I think the acceptable age gap increases. Like if a 25 year old was dating a 45 year old, then I don&#39;t really think there&#39;s anything wrong with that. But if there was a 15 year old and 35 year old, then that wouldn&#39;t be right.
Personally, I tend to stick to people who are of my age, or slightly older (no more than 4 or 5 years). I just find that things work better for me in a friendship/relationship when the ages are fairly close. However, for some people that is not an issue, and that&#39;s their preference. So I really don&#39;t have a problem with age differences, as long as no one is being taken advantage of.

[Leslie]

Originally posted by LPNeSSRGB@Mar 4 2004, 03:20 PM
As people get older, I think the acceptable age gap increases. Like if a 25 year old was dating a 45 year old, then I don&#39;t really think there&#39;s anything wrong with that. But if there was a 15 year old and 35 year old, then that wouldn&#39;t be right.
I totally agree with that.

Personally, I have only dated younger guys in the past. I don&#39;t know how that worked out, but they were all within 3 years difference. (In the last one I was 17 and he was 14). Now I have started to look more at older guys, but somehow I still get caught being interested in younger guys. :wth: I don&#39;t knowwhat&#39;s wrong with me...

[elie2]

Like the saying goes, "Older women are like fine wine"

Actually, it&#39;s just a matter of likability. I don&#39;t get how people set these "numbers", like "5 years older or younger is ok" or "half of your age plus blah buh blah blah". So, if a guy is 14, it&#39;s ok to have a relationship with an infant of no more than 6 months old?

Setting "appropriate" age gaps is a bit unnessecary. If one person has a feeling for another, they should try to build upon the relationship, regardless of age, and see how it pans out. :teehee:

[Cal]

its ok for me as long as there both over 16

[John.]

I won&#39;t go out with anyone 2 years younger then me, or 2 years older then me...so basically it&#39;s just 2 years in both ways for me, but that&#39;s just my opinion. :)

[Dan]

Originally posted by With You@Mar 4 2004, 11:22 PM
I won&#39;t go out with anyone 2 years younger then me, or 2 years older then me...so basically it&#39;s just 2 years in both ways for me, but that&#39;s just my opinion. :)
me too

[Eilonwy]

I don&#39;t really think age should matter that much. But I would rather date a guy who was older than me for some reason. I think a five year age difference would be nice, or maybe less than that. A difference of more than twenty years is kind of weird to me, but it&#39;s just my opinion.

[Hybrid_Bunny]

I won&#39;t go out with any girls older than me since I know it just wouldn&#39;t work out. Many girls my age already act way too mature and to me, it gets annoying quite easily since they&#39;ll never understand my humor. I guess the youngest girl I&#39;ll date is 2-3 years younger than me for now.

[TeMpEsT]

I think that a 21 year old dating a girl in say high school or middle school is appauling, even if they&#39;re not doing anything sexually. It seems morally wrong, but what can I do about it?

[Alacrity]

If someone is dating in high school, I think there should be no more than a 3 year age difference either way (women or men being older). But I think that if it&#39;s a 21 and a 30 year old its ok.


This will probably be edited later as I&#39;m extremely tired right now..

[Todd]

I&#39;ll be 18 later this month, and my opinion is, as long as they&#39;re 16 or older or at least a freshman, than it&#39;s OK. Like right now, I would never go out with a middle school kid (A senior going out with someone in 8th grade is just wrong) but, when I&#39;m in my 20s and 30s, that age gap of 4 years is no big deal.

[Amy]

I don&#39;t really care about age differences with other people, as long as its not a huge difference.

But for me... I wouldn&#39;t go out with a guy younger with me. It just seems really weird to me. People say it&#39;s probably because I&#39;m pretty mature for my age (when I want to be). I would only go out with a guy 1 to 3 years older then me at the moment.

[Kate]

I agree, the age gap does get wider as people get older. About not seeing relationships where the girl is older than the guy, it is uncommon, but I&#39;m older than my boyfriend. True, it&#39;s only by a few months, he&#39;s a junior, I&#39;m one of the youngest seniors in the school, I don&#39;t see any problems. :mellow: Whatever I guess.

[Jamie]

Age...is just a number..I&#39;m currently trying to snag a girl 2 year younger than me..and I dont care what other people may think..Age doesnt matter. As long as the two people are happy then it shouldn&#39;t matter.
For the record I&#39;m 16. ^_^

[ass_kicker]

age difference does matter in a way. i wouldnt date someone whos like 4 years older than me. i dont want to. kind of because he wouldnt be able to fully understand my needs, i guess. something like that.

[HARLEYsheXda]

i&#39;m always dreaming of marrying a man younger than i am but that would make me one of the member of the "fellowship of them teenies"... :D well, just can&#39;t get enough from the regular "old-fling" i guess... :D

seriously, what&#39;s on my mind is people shouldn&#39;t be judged based on their physical appearances, looks, races, living conditions, religions, or any "obstacles" that&#39;ll hinder them from overcoming the reality, which is pretty sucks, i think... and in this case, age should also be part of the list... yes, we live in the Matrix but how could we isolate the people around us... people will keep talking, man... i mean, constantly... until the day they died, then they&#39;ll shut it&#33;&#33;... :shifty:

there&#39;s nothing wrong with dating or, even worse, marrying a man/woman younger than u r :D ... i wont underestimate the potential of a younger boyfriend... it&#39;s what&#39;s on his mind that counts and how he "build up" his characters, the way he handled problems and stuff - if it&#39;s matured enough, i guess it&#39;s fine with me... it&#39;ll be the most important thing i dig from a man, well, i tend to speak as in randomly...

btw, the only true colors is start being urself and to be proud of who u ought to be... (you cannot neglect opinions but it&#39;s just a guideline...)the true freedom is to use ur mind instead of ur heart... (yes, not much of a freedom but it&#39;s ur choice, as well as ur regret&#33;) not a good one but i try my best to make it through u... :mellow:

hmmm, whatever...

[mp066]

I don&#39;t think that age in a relationship isn&#39;t that big of a deal. as long as it&#39;s not that huge of a gap.....like Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones (shudder).....he could be her dad..... :lol:

[LornVourkolakas]

I don&#39;t care about age.

My parents are 20 years apart and have been together since my mom was 16. They are now happily married with 3 children of their own. I see nothing wrong with this.

[Radical Dreamer]

I generally don&#39;t mind age gaps as long as it&#39;s nothing ridiculous like a 50 year old and a 15 year old. I personally wouldn&#39;t date a guy younger than myself but if other girls choose to, that&#39;s fine. Again, the age gap should be something reasonable. The problem is, somebody&#39;s who much older than yourself might not have anything in common with you and if that happens, the respective partners might drift apart over time. Just my 2 cents. :wth:

[Neil]

If it makes you happy, and its legal, who cares. It&#39;s your life, not theirs

[Radical Dreamer]

Originally posted by Vanil4_Intel@Mar 5 2004, 03:45 AM
I think that a 21 year old dating a girl in say high school or middle school is appauling, even if they&#39;re not doing anything sexually. It seems morally wrong, but what can I do about it?
Why&#39;s it immoral? I just think it&#39;s a bit awkward.

[LornVourkolakas]

Originally posted by Neil@Mar 7 2004, 01:26 AM
If it makes you happy, and its legal, who cares. It&#39;s your life, not theirs
Exactly. As long as what you&#39;re doing is legal and it makes you happy.

[Glenn]

It seems to be that the older people get, the less they care about age differences. 14 and 18 would be fine.

[Hybrid Theory]

I could never date a guy who&#39;s really younger than me. A few years younger is fine. Guys are are older however, I don&#39;t want to date anyone older than 19 as I&#39;m 16. 16 yr old girl dating a 27 year old guy=not right. Now, when I&#39;m older, the age gap for older guys can be as much as 15 years older. That&#39;s my view, anyway.

[ass_kicker]

yeah i think i agree with what hybrid_theory said. its my point of view as well.

[Ppr:Kut]

nah, important thing is love.. ..:P wow that was simple....

[HARLEYsheXda]

i dont know &#39;bout u guys, but i think when it happens, it happens... just like that&#33;... falling in love is like falling from a skyscraper, i mean, the &#39;gravity&#39; isn&#39;t yours... out of your hand, unmanageable&#33; well, maybe because most of the time we spend in our lives, relatively, we tend to mix around people of our equivalent or average... that it (age) eventually become our basic foundation of every decisions we make throughout our lives... - our future, our career, who we are suppose to marry...

i realized that sometimes we feel uneasy talking to other people that&#39;s older or younger than us, or richer, or smarter, or superior than us like our boss, our principal etc... or someone so charismatic that sometimes they tend to make us feel we r below their average... (though they dont mean to make us feel like that...) ...for example, "u cannot talk to me, ur just a kid... dont tell me what to do" that kind of stuff... like, they own u, intentionally...

there&#39;s a code to be followed and it seems like we have to obey the &#39;unwritten&#39; rules of the society as a whole... like, u cannot be with someone that&#39;s of ur father&#39;s age&#33; it&#39;s forbidden love... (well, it looks a bit awkward the first time u see it, having to see that kind of relationship going on... i mean, it&#39;s nasty&#33;&#33; we dont want to see our dad or mom get involve with a younger boyfriend/girlfriend aren&#39;t we? i&#39;d dread it myself&#33;&#33; but i dont have any problem with this idea of dating or marrying an older or younger person than we r... as long as that person is not engaged or a husband/wife of somebody else...)... people involved in this kind of love deserve some respect too... as long as they follow the &#39;rule&#39;, it&#39;s &#39;legal&#39;...

the point here is, u cannot tell what&#39;ll happen in the future... i mean, most of us r not psychic&#33;&#33; :shifty: well, u can say that u dont wanna get involve with this sort of person, that type of man, this kind of girl and stuff but the more u open ur heart and mind towards what&#39;s in front of u, u&#39;ll be close to know people from different level, then all the obstacles (race, religion, age... etc) could be eliminated and the obstacle u face should not be a problem anymore... :) (well, not for u...)

i&#39;m deep and philosophical, that&#39;s why this kind of &#39;conventional&#39; thoughts doesn&#39;t work in my head... hey, it&#39;s just an opinion... i&#39;m not saying that i&#39;m maturing enough to say this kind of thing... but i&#39;m not young either... i&#39;m not radical, my mind is...

just another bad side of me... :lol:

[Debus]

Age gaps don&#39;t really bother me atal. I go for either one year younger or one year older. Sometimes someone who is a few years older is alright but it would be weird to me because i am only 14. It shouldn&#39;t matter about age when you are older in my opinion. I&#39;ll put it that way :)

[Suffice]

Im 15 and I &#39;date&#39; a guy of the age of 21. Ee dont have sex or do anything illegal and we really love each other, but most adults dont see it like that.. I dont see how it is appauling. The age gap doesnt really matter as you get older.

[The Doctor]

Age doesnt really matter to me, Im 18 and my girlfriends 15, but were happy so it doesnt bother me

[ass_kicker]

nah i dont mind age gaps like 3 years. id say its alright up to 6 years. then, its just too much... thats what i think.

[Rachel]

I think its ok, as long as they people are happy.

While I don&#39;t agree with the age gap, my aunt and uncle are 14 years apart. 14 YEARS&#33; And they are quite happy... 4 kids... a nice happy family.

I think if the couple are happy and don&#39;t care about the age difference, that&#39;s all that should matter.

Currently, I am trying to snag a 16 year old and I&#39;m 13. Oh well. It&#39;s all a matter of personal opinion, in the end (and no I really didn&#39;t mean to use an LP reference there :blush: )

- Rachel

[LPNeSSRGB]

Originally posted by HARLEYsheXda@Mar 7 2004, 09:55 AM
i dont know &#39;bout u guys, but i think when it happens, it happens... just like that&#33;... falling in love is like falling from a skyscraper, i mean, the &#39;gravity&#39; isn&#39;t yours... out of your hand, unmanageable&#33;
That is very true. Sometimes it happens and there&#39;s nothing you can do.

[Hybrid_Bunny]

Originally posted by LPNeSSRGB+Mar 8 2004, 11:22 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (LPNeSSRGB @ Mar 8 2004, 11:22 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--HARLEYsheXda@Mar 7 2004, 09:55 AM
i dont know &#39;bout u guys, but i think when it happens, it happens... just like that&#33;... falling in love is like falling from a skyscraper, i mean, the &#39;gravity&#39; isn&#39;t yours... out of your hand, unmanageable&#33;
That is very true. Sometimes it happens and there&#39;s nothing you can do. [/b][/quote]
Yeah, I just thought of this now. Falling in love is like falling from a skyscraper because it can end in a lot of pain. :wth:

[Radical Dreamer]

A girl in my class is dating a 33 year old guy and she&#39;s 18 herself. They seem really happy so obviously the age gap doesn&#39;t bother some people. I always think it depends - some people take age gaps seriously, others don&#39;t. :wth:

[ass_kicker]

Originally posted by Radical Dreamer@Mar 10 2004, 12:22 AM
A girl in my class is dating a 33 year old guy and she&#39;s 18 herself. They seem really happy so obviously the age gap doesn&#39;t bother some people. I always think it depends - some people take age gaps seriously, others don&#39;t. :wth:
no, i wouldnt do that. i think its too much for me. but its alright if they are both happy. what about the girl&#39;s parents though? dont they have a problem with that?

[Maëlle]

It&#39;s possible for a guy to date an older girl: My coach&#39;s 24 and she&#39;s been with a 20 years old guy for at least five years... they even have a daughter together and their couple seems to go well.

On the other way, a friend of mine who just turned 16 dates an almost 19 years old guy... it&#39;s almost a year they&#39;re together and they love each others... it&#39;s sickening&#33;

Still, I don&#39;t think a 17 years old girl dating a 35 years old man is really normal. I mean, we need to be realist; what are the chances he really loves her?

[May]

like most people here the age gap doesn&#39;t bother me at all. when i was 14 i dated an 18 year old. and i would date younger guys but not too young. as long as people are happy who really cares? let them do what they want to do. a lot of people thought it was so wrong that i was dating an 18 year old but people that knew that i was happy didn&#39;t care.

[LornVourkolakas]

Originally posted by Anythingbutreal@Mar 14 2004, 02:32 AM
It&#39;s possible for a guy to date an older girl: My coach&#39;s 24 and she&#39;s been with a 20 years old guy for at least five years... they even have a daughter together and their couple seems to go well.

On the other way, a friend of mine who just turned 16 dates an almost 19 years old guy... it&#39;s almost a year they&#39;re together and they love each others... it&#39;s sickening&#33;

Still, I don&#39;t think a 17 years old girl dating a 35 years old man is really normal. I mean, we need to be realist; what are the chances he really loves her?
What are the chances that he really loves her?

Excuse me but my mom was 17 when she was pregnant with my father&#39;s child. He was 37.

My mom is now 40 and my dad is 61 (His birthday comes first than hers) and they are still together.

So I say the chances are pretty good; despite age.

[ass_kicker]

Originally posted by LornVourkolakas+Mar 14 2004, 04:31 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (LornVourkolakas @ Mar 14 2004, 04:31 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Anythingbutreal@Mar 14 2004, 02:32 AM
It&#39;s possible for a guy to date an older girl: My coach&#39;s 24 and she&#39;s been with a 20 years old guy for at least five years... they even have a daughter together and their couple seems to go well.

On the other way, a friend of mine who just turned 16 dates an almost 19 years old guy... it&#39;s almost a year they&#39;re together and they love each others... it&#39;s sickening&#33;

Still, I don&#39;t think a 17 years old girl dating a 35 years old man is really normal. I mean, we need to be realist; what are the chances he really loves her?
What are the chances that he really loves her?

Excuse me but my mom was 17 when she was pregnant with my father&#39;s child. He was 37.

My mom is now 40 and my dad is 61 (His birthday comes first than hers) and they are still together.

So I say the chances are pretty good; despite age. [/b][/quote]
of course it can work for some people. but what im saying is that it wouldnt work for me.

[lp_dreamer]

well i just happened to find out something like this about a guy from my school yesterday.
he is 16 and is seeing his 24 year old boss

what the hell could she see in a 16 year old

[ass_kicker]

Originally posted by *chazy_chaz4eva*@Mar 18 2004, 12:31 PM
well i just happened to find out something like this about a guy from my school yesterday.
he is 16 and is seeing his 24 year old boss

what the hell could she see in a 16 year old
i agree with you chazy... i mean i think it just doeant work you know? unless shes a horny woman looking for sex. pedofiles :shifty:

[Adam]

I think an age difference is fine but I would want to see someone at 13 dating some one at 30