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XxLPxX
10-23-2002, 07:52 PM
There, have some fun. :D

Poopstars!

Week One - Auditions

Across the UK, thousands of budding young stars gather at auditions in the hope that they will be picked out for the chance to join a brand new pop group. The Poopstars panel, made up of smarmy Making the Poopstars, sexy Susan and slightly-simple Dave are very impressed with the vast majority of the candidates. Chester_79's rendition of Agadoo in particular goes down a real treat.

EvilAmy is also on impressive form, whipping out her enormous bongos and treating the judges to a blast of Ooh aah just a little bit by Gina G.

However one young hopeful sadly falls at the first hurdle. Subconcious Melody's belting recital of Meatloaf's I would do anything for love (But I won't do that) results in the tragic death of 17 contestants. He is subsequently dismissed from the competition and flees in tears.

Week Two - Second Round of Auditions

The hundreds of remaining candidates are invited to Skegness for further auditions in an attempt to whittle the numbers down to just 50. Straight away XxLPxX sets out her stall to impress the judges with a song and dance routine based upon the former Christmas Number One hit, Mr Blobby.

Everybody is delighted with the Mr Blobby rendition and, despite the fact that she's a fat biffer, XxLPxX makes it through to the next round of auditions. Kat also progresses thanks to her amazing skills on the pink oboe.

xlponestepclosergirlx, unfortunately, isn't so lucky. The judges make the shock discovery that she doesn't actually fall into the correct age group for the competition. As soon as they realise that xlponestepclosergirlx is in fact a 73 year-old grandfather from Woking, they send her straight back to her retirement home. 'Perhaps we should have guessed from the zimmer frame', sighs judge Dave ruefully.

Week Three - Third Round

Camp club singer Alex is the first hopeful to make a tit of himself after being invited to the third round of auditions in Ramsbottom. He attempts a flamboyant pirouette as the other contestants whistle Crazy for you by Let Loose. As he spins, he whacks Kat in the face, sparking off a full-scale brawl between the two of them.

Less than impressed with this display of team harmony, the panel order both Alex and Kat to leave.

Judge Making the Poopstars gives the remaining contestants a real scare when he calls them into a room and tells them he's got some bad news. 'I'm afraid you're all going to have to phone your parents and tell them you're coming down to London for the final stage of auditions', he says, to the relief of everyone. What a joker.

Week Four - London Auditions

The judges have now got 20 contestants left, and they need to get the number down to just ten. They split all of the hopefuls into groups and put them through a gruelling routine of poncing about and singing.

Bloater XxLPxX is a natural at this, but as she throws herself about like a randy hippo, the judges gather in a corner to whisper about her.

'XxLPxX's certainly got a big, erm, personality' says Susan tactfully. 'But there just isn't enough room in the band for her. She'll have to go.' Fortunately XxLPxX, with her well-rounded perspective on life, takes the news on the chins.

Chester_79 is another candidate who has problems. He's been suffering from a severe bout of flatulence and The Baron convinces him that drinking 12 pints of Diamond White the night before the final audition will provide a cure.

Funnily enough, when Chester_79 wakes up, his flatulence is no better and his head hurts. The Baron chuckles to himself, convinced that Chester_79 will fail the audition and give The Baron his path into the final 10 contestants.

However The Baron's plan quite literally backfires when Making the Poopstars informs the remaining hopefuls that today's audition involves farting New York, New York in the style of a barbershop quartet. Chester_79 is the star of the show, while The Baron barely raises a squeak. Perhaps surprisingly for a girl, EvilAmy also blows the judges away with her methane skills.

Week Five - Final Decision

Only Chester_79 and EvilAmy remain in the final ten Poopstar contestants. The judges test out their communication skills by staging a mock press-conference.

However under heavy interrogation, EvilAmy reveals that she used to be a drug-smuggling prostitute, although she only does it at weekends now. It's fair to say that Dave, Susan and Making the Poopstars are not happy.

Chester_79 fares a lot better, telling the hacks how much he admires Steps and how he's always wanted to be Kylie Minogue.

After the press conference, the judges sit down in a secret location to discuss their choice for the final band line-up. They spend literally minutes weighing up the pros and cons of each contestant before sitting back smugly and declaring 'Well darlings, we've got ourselves a band!'

The final decision

All that remains is for the candidates to be informed of the result. It is a decision which will undoubtedly change their lives for ever, and Chester_79 and EvilAmy are understandably nervous as they wait for the judges to visit them at home.

Making the Poopstars struggles to reach Chester_79's remote home and after 3 weeks of travelling across frozen wasteland on a husky-driven sled he still hasn't reached the destination.

Susan, meanwhile, has popped round the corner for a cup of tea with EvilAmy and her boyfriend Ricard. Over the cuppa, Susan breaks the bad news that EvilAmy will not be chosen for the final band. 'Look at it this way...' Susan says comfortingly. 'You've always got your job at McDonalds'.

Eventually, despite the loss of three toes, Making the Poopstars reaches Chester_79's igloo. He sits Chester_79 down and tells him to take a deep breath. 'It's been the hardest decision I've ever had to make', Making the Poopstars begins.

'But I'm afraid you haven't made it. In fact, none of you have. We're not even bothering with the band - we only did it for the TV ratings. There is a follow-up series next year you might be interested in taking part in though...'

'Yes?', enquires Chester_79, his eyes lighting up.

'Yes', says Making the Poopstars. 'It's called 'How Poopstars Ruined My Life'. See you next year then...?'

gabrielote
10-26-2002, 12:21 AM
cool

White Pony(turntables)
10-26-2002, 12:23 AM
Originally posted by XxLPxX@Oct 23 2002, 12:52 PM
There, have some fun. :D

Poopstars!

Week One - Auditions

Across the UK, thousands of budding young stars gather at auditions in the hope that they will be picked out for the chance to join a brand new pop group. The Poopstars panel, made up of smarmy Making the Poopstars, sexy Susan and slightly-simple Dave are very impressed with the vast majority of the candidates. Chester_79's rendition of Agadoo in particular goes down a real treat.

EvilAmy is also on impressive form, whipping out her enormous bongos and treating the judges to a blast of Ooh aah just a little bit by Gina G.

However one young hopeful sadly falls at the first hurdle. Subconcious Melody's belting recital of Meatloaf's I would do anything for love (But I won't do that) results in the tragic death of 17 contestants. He is subsequently dismissed from the competition and flees in tears.

Week Two - Second Round of Auditions

The hundreds of remaining candidates are invited to Skegness for further auditions in an attempt to whittle the numbers down to just 50. Straight away XxLPxX sets out her stall to impress the judges with a song and dance routine based upon the former Christmas Number One hit, Mr Blobby.

Everybody is delighted with the Mr Blobby rendition and, despite the fact that she's a fat biffer, XxLPxX makes it through to the next round of auditions. Kat also progresses thanks to her amazing skills on the pink oboe.

xlponestepclosergirlx, unfortunately, isn't so lucky. The judges make the shock discovery that she doesn't actually fall into the correct age group for the competition. As soon as they realise that xlponestepclosergirlx is in fact a 73 year-old grandfather from Woking, they send her straight back to her retirement home. 'Perhaps we should have guessed from the zimmer frame', sighs judge Dave ruefully.

Week Three - Third Round

Camp club singer Alex is the first hopeful to make a tit of himself after being invited to the third round of auditions in Ramsbottom. He attempts a flamboyant pirouette as the other contestants whistle Crazy for you by Let Loose. As he spins, he whacks Kat in the face, sparking off a full-scale brawl between the two of them.

Less than impressed with this display of team harmony, the panel order both Alex and Kat to leave.

Judge Making the Poopstars gives the remaining contestants a real scare when he calls them into a room and tells them he's got some bad news. 'I'm afraid you're all going to have to phone your parents and tell them you're coming down to London for the final stage of auditions', he says, to the relief of everyone. What a joker.

Week Four - London Auditions

The judges have now got 20 contestants left, and they need to get the number down to just ten. They split all of the hopefuls into groups and put them through a gruelling routine of poncing about and singing.

Bloater XxLPxX is a natural at this, but as she throws herself about like a randy hippo, the judges gather in a corner to whisper about her.

'XxLPxX's certainly got a big, erm, personality' says Susan tactfully. 'But there just isn't enough room in the band for her. She'll have to go.' Fortunately XxLPxX, with her well-rounded perspective on life, takes the news on the chins.

Chester_79 is another candidate who has problems. He's been suffering from a severe bout of flatulence and The Baron convinces him that drinking 12 pints of Diamond White the night before the final audition will provide a cure.

Funnily enough, when Chester_79 wakes up, his flatulence is no better and his head hurts. The Baron chuckles to himself, convinced that Chester_79 will fail the audition and give The Baron his path into the final 10 contestants.

However The Baron's plan quite literally backfires when Making the Poopstars informs the remaining hopefuls that today's audition involves farting New York, New York in the style of a barbershop quartet. Chester_79 is the star of the show, while The Baron barely raises a squeak. Perhaps surprisingly for a girl, EvilAmy also blows the judges away with her methane skills.

Week Five - Final Decision

Only Chester_79 and EvilAmy remain in the final ten Poopstar contestants. The judges test out their communication skills by staging a mock press-conference.

However under heavy interrogation, EvilAmy reveals that she used to be a drug-smuggling prostitute, although she only does it at weekends now. It's fair to say that Dave, Susan and Making the Poopstars are not happy.

Chester_79 fares a lot better, telling the hacks how much he admires Steps and how he's always wanted to be Kylie Minogue.

After the press conference, the judges sit down in a secret location to discuss their choice for the final band line-up. They spend literally minutes weighing up the pros and cons of each contestant before sitting back smugly and declaring 'Well darlings, we've got ourselves a band!'

The final decision

All that remains is for the candidates to be informed of the result. It is a decision which will undoubtedly change their lives for ever, and Chester_79 and EvilAmy are understandably nervous as they wait for the judges to visit them at home.

Making the Poopstars struggles to reach Chester_79's remote home and after 3 weeks of travelling across frozen wasteland on a husky-driven sled he still hasn't reached the destination.

Susan, meanwhile, has popped round the corner for a cup of tea with EvilAmy and her boyfriend Ricard. Over the cuppa, Susan breaks the bad news that EvilAmy will not be chosen for the final band. 'Look at it this way...' Susan says comfortingly. 'You've always got your job at McDonalds'.

Eventually, despite the loss of three toes, Making the Poopstars reaches Chester_79's igloo. He sits Chester_79 down and tells him to take a deep breath. 'It's been the hardest decision I've ever had to make', Making the Poopstars begins.

'But I'm afraid you haven't made it. In fact, none of you have. We're not even bothering with the band - we only did it for the TV ratings. There is a follow-up series next year you might be interested in taking part in though...'

'Yes?', enquires Chester_79, his eyes lighting up.

'Yes', says Making the Poopstars. 'It's called 'How Poopstars Ruined My Life'. See you next year then...?'
*doesn't read*

Bryan
10-26-2002, 04:28 AM
*wonder's to self, who's Chester 79? :unsure: :huh: *

Oblong_Cheese
10-26-2002, 08:48 AM
Originally posted by White Pony(turntables)@Oct 26 2002, 12:23 AM
*doesn't read*
Just quote the entire post, whydontcha?

:rolleyes: :angry:

I'm guessing that the original post was made by a script of some sort that simply places names into a pre-defined story. I know I'm probably pointing out the obvious, but I can do it really good, can't I? :D

Nikki
10-26-2002, 09:47 AM
yup..it's taken from a site that I know very well...If you see the "Big brother script" thread...you'll find out which one...if you want to of course

Amy
10-26-2002, 11:23 AM
i got the same as i did n kat's one of them.


oh and u r smart owen i think :unsure:

XxLPxX
10-27-2002, 02:07 PM
Originally posted by Chester 76@Oct 26 2002, 12:28 AM
*wonder's to self, who's Chester 79? :unsure: :huh: *
Damn it.. sorry, >_<