View Full Version : Married men and porn...
Andrea
02-18-2009, 09:52 PM
Say you are in your 50's and in a sexless marriage. Do you think it's right that a married man looks at porn sites? Does this qualify as cheating or being unfaithful? Should a woman confront her husband about this or just let it go?
I'm asking these questions because I need some insight on the subject. I was having a discussion about this today and I would like to see what you all think. Thoughts? Opinions? Answers?
Discuss.
Jesse
02-18-2009, 10:01 PM
My thoughts are complicated. What do you consider porn? a erotic novel? softcore? I'm not sure how I would classify it really. I've read erotic novels and I myself wouldn't consider that as cheating.
Andrea
02-18-2009, 10:03 PM
Porn, like, porn websites. The ones where you view videos for free. No novels or anything.
Jesse
02-18-2009, 10:08 PM
isn't a very erotic novel that goes full on with very descriptive sex considered a type of porn or maybe adult material? I mean doesn't it imply the same intent? and what about graphic novels? I think it's hard to say. Because you can read a book to get away from reality and take part in a fantasy as you might do if you were watching a porn video and maybe some would call that cheating if you're imagining the girl in the story and not your wife.
Andrea
02-18-2009, 10:12 PM
Hmmm yeah, true, lol.
Ugh, I don't know then. I just really need opinions regarding married men vs. porn websites. I don't really know what to say about novels.
Dedicated
02-18-2009, 10:19 PM
In my opinion it's not cheating. As for if it should be brought up, I think if the porn is what's making the marriage sexless then it should be brought up. If the porn is being watched because the marriage is sexless then that's a different kettle of fish.
Christopher
02-18-2009, 10:20 PM
In my opinion it's not cheating. As for if it should be brought up, I think if the porn is what's making the marriage sexless then it should be brought up. If the porn is being watched because the marriage is sexless then that's a different kettle of fish.
Seconded.
Messy Marj
02-18-2009, 11:07 PM
In my opinion it's not cheating. As for if it should be brought up, I think if the porn is what's making the marriage sexless then it should be brought up. If the porn is being watched because the marriage is sexless then that's a different kettle of fish.
Thirded.
I don't see it as cheating either. I have never met someone who's lusting after the girl/guy in the video, it's always the actions they do that makes you horny. But yeah, if the marriage is sexless because of the porn watching then she should probably confront her husband about it.
esaul17
02-19-2009, 12:04 AM
I don't see it as cheating. A couple should probably set their own limits on what is and isn't cheating though. None of the girls I have been with had an issue with it, but we weren't together for that long either. I also do not think married men should be singled out, what about married women? Surely the same ruled apply. What if you just fantasize about someone else? Same intent as any pornography really.
If porn you continually choose porn over your partner, there is a problem. Otherwise, I don't see it as one. It is of course up to individual couples to decide.
It's not cheating at all.
Chris.
02-19-2009, 12:21 AM
I agree with everything that's been said so far. I think if you are in a sexless marriage and neither side seems to be pushing for it, looking at porn is a much healthier way to go about getting it rather than going out and finding someone willing to have sex with you.
Chris Tucker
02-19-2009, 12:27 AM
I agree with everything that's been said so far. I think if you are in a sexless marriage and neither side seems to be pushing for it, looking at porn is a much healthier way to go about getting it rather than going out and finding someone willing to have sex with you.
Who knows what you'll find out there :lol:
Andrea
02-19-2009, 12:31 AM
I agree with everything that's been said so far. I think if you are in a sexless marriage and neither side seems to be pushing for it, looking at porn is a much healthier way to go about getting it rather than going out and finding someone willing to have sex with you.
Hmmm...you bring up a good point. I'll remember this when I see the woman I was talking to again.
Derek The Infamous
02-19-2009, 12:49 AM
While not cheating, I do think it is disrespectful to his wife. I think if they are looking at a sexless marriage, they should assess why that is taking place and address it because usually lack of sex is also a sign of other underlying issues. His wife should be enough for him and he shouldn't need to look at younger women naked to get his fix.
If anything, the only time it'd be acceptable is when the couple are looking for ways to spice up their sex life, which in that case they should watch it together. Not behind his wife's back, as if they are not sexual anymore they probably have a lot bigger problems than just sex.
I don't think it's cheating and I don't think it's disrespectful. Guys will always watch porn and be fascinated by other women. I can't explain it but it's just how we are. It only becomes a problem if the guy is looking at too much porn or follows through with his fascination of other women.
F-ck Casey
02-19-2009, 01:00 AM
it's just sex. i never understood why people got so worked up about these sorts of things.
Andrea
02-19-2009, 01:02 AM
it's just sex. i never understood why people got so worked up about these sorts of things.
Because it is a big deal, especially if you are married. Unless you have a very open marriage.
F-ck Casey
02-19-2009, 01:05 AM
yeah, but... it's just a married guy, looking at porn. big deal. it's not like once you get married, your penis loses all function. guys get horny at just about anything. we could be on a train and the vibration and rocking would be just good enough that it'd happen (stolen from bill hicks).
not a big deal, in my mind.
Andrea
02-19-2009, 01:08 AM
I get what you are saying. I'm just trying to put myself in this woman's shoes.
Harlz
02-19-2009, 11:38 AM
I don't think it's cheating and I don't think it's disrespectful. Guys will always watch porn and be fascinated by other women. I can't explain it but it's just how we are. It only becomes a problem if the guy is looking at too much porn or follows through with his fascination of other women.
Word.
Daniel
02-19-2009, 01:08 PM
Not cheating whatsoever.
Penny
02-19-2009, 03:23 PM
While not cheating, I do think it is disrespectful to his wife. I think if they are looking at a sexless marriage, they should assess why that is taking place and address it because usually lack of sex is also a sign of other underlying issues. His wife should be enough for him and he shouldn't need to look at younger women naked to get his fix.
If anything, the only time it'd be acceptable is when the couple are looking for ways to spice up their sex life, which in that case they should watch it together. Not behind his wife's back, as if they are not sexual anymore they probably have a lot bigger problems than just sex.
This.
Chris(tmas)
02-19-2009, 04:46 PM
I don't think it's cheating and I don't think it's disrespectful. Guys will always watch porn and be fascinated by other women. I can't explain it but it's just how we are. It only becomes a problem if the guy is looking at too much porn or follows through with his fascination of other women.
That.
I'd still watch porn if I would had a wife or girlfriend. It's not cheating or disrespectful, it's more like keeping you updated :lol:
It's like, your wife is a vegetarian and you really want a cheeseburger.
I think it's only disrespectful if the husband does it behind his wife's back. As gross as it is for me to admit it, my mom knows my dad looks it up, but she's not bothered by it because she knows he's not going to up and leave her for some 22-year-old twit. I think if the husband acts like he doesn't do it and whatnot, that's disrespectful.
Derek The Infamous
02-19-2009, 05:09 PM
I think it's only disrespectful if the husband does it behind his wife's back. As gross as it is for me to admit it, my mom knows my dad looks it up, but she's not bothered by it because she knows he's not going to up and leave her for some 22-year-old twit. I think if the husband acts like he doesn't do it and whatnot, that's disrespectful.
Thank you Will and Penny.
This is what I mean. If he's stroking the baloney pony to 22 year old Suzie getting done in every position, but isn't telling his wife that's disrespectful.
...and yes I could've worded that less offensively but oh well. :D
If he's stroking the baloney pony...
I'm sorry but LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL *dies* :lol:
Derek The Infamous
02-19-2009, 05:37 PM
hh81LMz1sPo
4CITa_pmox4
That's where I got it from.
"looks like Chuck's gonna put the hot dog...in the bun!"
esaul17
02-19-2009, 06:24 PM
Thank you Will and Penny.
This is what I mean. If he's stroking the baloney pony to 22 year old Suzie getting done in every position, but isn't telling his wife that's disrespectful.
...and yes I could've worded that less offensively but oh well. :D
I do agree, but it also makes me wonder if his wife has given him a good reason to be afraid to tell her.
Seinfeld
02-19-2009, 06:31 PM
In a relationship I have one rule, regarding things like that.
You may look and fantasize as much as you want. As long as you're not touching that person, the screen and / or yourself, I have no problem with it. Whereas there are exceptions, when it comes to porn and touching oneself...I mean...not seeing each other for 5 weeks...that's hard to do... So yeah.
But that's just my opinion.
If it's not my relationship, I say: Agree on whatever both partners can get used to without losing their minds.
Dr. Octogonapus
02-19-2009, 06:46 PM
What about married women and porn?
As far as I'm concerned, nothing is "wrong" in any kind of relationship unless the other half has a problem with it.
What about married women and porn?
As far as I'm concerned, nothing is "wrong" in any kind of relationship unless the other half has a problem with it.
Exactly...it's not as if women don't watch porn or read erotic novels. They probably do it far far less then guys but to say women don't do it at all would be wrong.
_cam_
02-22-2009, 02:41 AM
BOYS will be BOYS.
Messy Marj
02-22-2009, 06:07 PM
Exactly...it's not as if women don't watch porn or read erotic novels. They probably do it far far less then guys but to say women don't do it at all would be wrong.
Far far less you say? I honestly don't know alot of women that don't watch porn regularly, but then again, I have a pretty open group of friends. I say mix and match = great sex.
Arashi
02-22-2009, 06:39 PM
I think it's only disrespectful if the husband does it behind his wife's back. As gross as it is for me to admit it, my mom knows my dad looks it up, but she's not bothered by it because she knows he's not going to up and leave her for some 22-year-old twit. I think if the husband acts like he doesn't do it and whatnot, that's disrespectful.
Exactly.
Heck watch it together.
----
@ Derek- :lol: :lol:
Jesse
02-22-2009, 06:59 PM
I think it's only disrespectful if the husband does it behind his wife's back. As gross as it is for me to admit it, my mom knows my dad looks it up, but she's not bothered by it because she knows he's not going to up and leave her for some 22-year-old twit. I think if the husband acts like he doesn't do it and whatnot, that's disrespectful.
What about married women and porn?
As far as I'm concerned, nothing is "wrong" in any kind of relationship unless the other half has a problem with it.
Yup. Pretty much.
Exactly.
Heck watch it together.
Imagine the arguments that could possibly stem from that though:
Wife: "why can't you ever do me like that?!"
Husband: "why don't you have tits like those?!"
Wife: "why can't you ever make me orgasm?!"
Husband: "how come you wont let me do that to you?!"
Wife: "Why do you have such a big collection of porn?...am I not satisfactory enough for you?!"
Husband: "Why the hell are you watching me jerk off?!"
Messy Marj
02-23-2009, 10:27 AM
Imagine the arguments that could possibly stem from that though:
Wife: "why can't you ever do me like that?!"
Husband: "why don't you have tits like those?!"
Wife: "why can't you ever make me orgasm?!"
Husband: "how come you wont let me do that to you?!"
Wife: "Why do you have such a big collection of porn?...am I not satisfactory enough for you?!"
Husband: "Why the hell are you watching me jerk off?!"
You don't know anything about women. :lol:
Arashi
02-23-2009, 10:37 AM
Imagine the arguments that could possibly stem from that though:
Wife: "why can't you ever do me like that?!"
Husband: "why don't you have tits like those?!"
Wife: "why can't you ever make me orgasm?!"
Husband: "how come you wont let me do that to you?!"
Wife: "Why do you have such a big collection of porn?...am I not satisfactory enough for you?!"
Husband: "Why the hell are you watching me jerk off?!"
:lol:
Honestly what's the problem with that? At the moment I am reading: http://www.littlebrown.co.uk/assets/images/EAN/Large/9780749926526.jpg
:lol: And it says that you should watch it together, and if there is a clash in the choice of porn between the two, they can just take turns watching whatever the other person prefers.
It's really not that complicated. And there is also low budget porn with actors who don't have very flattering bodies.
This thread has been enlightening for me. I thought women were all fembots or something until just now.
J/K
You don't know anything about women. :lol:
It was just a joke lol.
Messy Marj
02-23-2009, 02:12 PM
It was just a joke lol.
I know, hence the lol smiley thing. :P
Timothy
02-23-2009, 02:26 PM
I'd be willing to bet that 85% of porn viewers are married men. :lol:
I'd be willing to bet that 85% of porn viewers are married men. :lol:
I'm singlehandedly bucking the trend.
Chris(tmas)
02-23-2009, 06:12 PM
If you think that watching porn is disrespectful, is it disrespectful to look at other women and finding them attractive?
grego
02-24-2009, 03:47 AM
It's not cheating. Although, you would hope the partners are open and honest. I think it is in the right that the wife should be open and bring the subject up though. The lack of being open is what likely led to the lack of sex in their later years.
With porn, you really aren't receiving reciprocation, at least compared to people you might find on the internet. That to me is pushing the line.
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