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Nick
01-30-2009, 08:36 PM
It's odd how a few words can inspire something like this to come out of me


Oh and there's a reason this happens.
It's so sweet, the truth?
Never thought twice to return to him.
Twice counted ten times and start again.

This was not your dream
This was your nightmare.
Your biggest fear
You wanted it every time.
Never a thought of being mine.

You sometimes recall time, slow, fast.
You are now distant from me
That will only last.

Chances fade in the dust when blown away.
Crawling through ash, you have spent your last token on love.
It failed, and now you lose.

Gloomy Mushroom
01-30-2009, 11:47 PM
To me, this didn't flow right and there wasn't any consistency. Well, that's just my opinion for you, but other than that I loved the metaphor "Chances fade in the dust" that was a real good mental image right there.

Nick
01-31-2009, 02:16 AM
To me, this didn't flow right and there wasn't any consistency. Well, that's just my opinion for you, but other than that I loved the metaphor "Chances fade in the dust" that was a real good mental image right there.

It doesn't have to.

To me, it flows.

Dean
02-06-2009, 12:42 PM
It flows really really well, to me.

Daniel
02-06-2009, 12:56 PM
I like it, Nick. Whatever your particular "style" of writing is (don't quite know how to explain it), it really appeals to me.

Will
02-06-2009, 05:48 PM
To me, this didn't flow right and there wasn't any consistency. Well, that's just my opinion for you, but other than that I loved the metaphor "Chances fade in the dust" that was a real good mental image right there.

...:lol: This is like the pot calling the kettle black. How ironic.

I liked it a lot, Nick. It was really good, as is almost all of your other stuff.

Nick
02-06-2009, 07:18 PM
Wow, thanks guys haha.