Will
09-02-2007, 09:54 PM
For what seems like the hundredth time I've done this, I'm going to apologize for how I acted prior to my last "leave," but I'm also going to try to justify it with legitimate reasons which I've never had before.
Let me first begin by apologizing to Derek for the personal attacks which I launched upon him before I last left. They were unwarranted, unjustified and undignified, and I'll completely understand if he never wants to talk to me again, or even acknowledge my apology.
Second, I'd like to apologize to the whole of the LP Association staff for my behaviors in the last several days before I declared my leave. For whatever reasoning, you didn't decide to ban me, and I appreciate that, for I wouldn't have been able to make this apology if you would've banned me.
Third, I'd like to apologize to the whole community for causing an uproarious, stressful and tense-filled atmosphere before I left. There was no reason for it to have happened. That's why they say, "Just walk away."
To attempt to legitimately explain why I broke down and became a huge nuisance, I'd like to begin by saying that my family and I were, at the time, going through a rough, rough financial period, complete with a bankruptcy which was being handled by a crooked attorney (who ended up, in a not-so-subtle phrase, "fucking us over"). It was extremely rough on me to see my parents in that state, and the fact that I couldn't do anything to help them was slowly breaking me down. That was the largest reasoning for my decline in composure, which, I feel, I often showed rather well here, unless I began ranting about something, which wasn't too often.
Secondly, I was in the midst of trying to patch up a relationship with my girlfriend which had gone terribly wrong. We'd dated for a year (with about a month-long "break"), but it fell apart near the end of the Spring, right around the same time I broke down here. She left me, albeit it was my fault, and ended up going back to the boy she originally chose me over, which destroyed me to no end, and still has somewhat an effect on me. I'm mostly over it now, but it still hurts to think about.
Thirdly, some of you may remember that surgery I had last Summer to repair a chest deformity which I have. After my surgery, I'd felt fine, but, at the beginning of the Spring, and up until about a month ago, my chest was bothering me even more than it had before the first surgery. I was so afraid that something was wrong, but I was also too afraid to tell anyone, because I didn't want to go through the surgery again (which I've since put behind me, and I plan on having the surgery once again). It was making me ill, but it's gotten so much better, thanks to a lack of stress in my life.
Fourth, and perhaps finally, I'd been struggling with my classes in college, so much so to the point where I was no longer attending my classes, and I ended up failing three of my four final exams, which caused me to be expelled from the university which I was attending. This came just as I was turning everything around, and had planned to buckle-down and become the best student I could've been. I ended up breaking down and getting into frequent fights with my father over the course of a week, leading up to my... havoc-wreaking here on the forums before I last left.
Therefore, if everyone can take all these things into account when accepting my apology, I'd appreciate it to no end. I miss the LPA, and I miss the friends I had here. However, I'll also understand if none of you want to accept any of this, and I'll also accept the fact that my situation (as compounded as it may have been) is not nearly as bad as it could've been.
Thank you, and I'm sorry once again. This time, I think, I mean it, and this shouldn't ever happen again, so long as things are going well in my life.
Let me first begin by apologizing to Derek for the personal attacks which I launched upon him before I last left. They were unwarranted, unjustified and undignified, and I'll completely understand if he never wants to talk to me again, or even acknowledge my apology.
Second, I'd like to apologize to the whole of the LP Association staff for my behaviors in the last several days before I declared my leave. For whatever reasoning, you didn't decide to ban me, and I appreciate that, for I wouldn't have been able to make this apology if you would've banned me.
Third, I'd like to apologize to the whole community for causing an uproarious, stressful and tense-filled atmosphere before I left. There was no reason for it to have happened. That's why they say, "Just walk away."
To attempt to legitimately explain why I broke down and became a huge nuisance, I'd like to begin by saying that my family and I were, at the time, going through a rough, rough financial period, complete with a bankruptcy which was being handled by a crooked attorney (who ended up, in a not-so-subtle phrase, "fucking us over"). It was extremely rough on me to see my parents in that state, and the fact that I couldn't do anything to help them was slowly breaking me down. That was the largest reasoning for my decline in composure, which, I feel, I often showed rather well here, unless I began ranting about something, which wasn't too often.
Secondly, I was in the midst of trying to patch up a relationship with my girlfriend which had gone terribly wrong. We'd dated for a year (with about a month-long "break"), but it fell apart near the end of the Spring, right around the same time I broke down here. She left me, albeit it was my fault, and ended up going back to the boy she originally chose me over, which destroyed me to no end, and still has somewhat an effect on me. I'm mostly over it now, but it still hurts to think about.
Thirdly, some of you may remember that surgery I had last Summer to repair a chest deformity which I have. After my surgery, I'd felt fine, but, at the beginning of the Spring, and up until about a month ago, my chest was bothering me even more than it had before the first surgery. I was so afraid that something was wrong, but I was also too afraid to tell anyone, because I didn't want to go through the surgery again (which I've since put behind me, and I plan on having the surgery once again). It was making me ill, but it's gotten so much better, thanks to a lack of stress in my life.
Fourth, and perhaps finally, I'd been struggling with my classes in college, so much so to the point where I was no longer attending my classes, and I ended up failing three of my four final exams, which caused me to be expelled from the university which I was attending. This came just as I was turning everything around, and had planned to buckle-down and become the best student I could've been. I ended up breaking down and getting into frequent fights with my father over the course of a week, leading up to my... havoc-wreaking here on the forums before I last left.
Therefore, if everyone can take all these things into account when accepting my apology, I'd appreciate it to no end. I miss the LPA, and I miss the friends I had here. However, I'll also understand if none of you want to accept any of this, and I'll also accept the fact that my situation (as compounded as it may have been) is not nearly as bad as it could've been.
Thank you, and I'm sorry once again. This time, I think, I mean it, and this shouldn't ever happen again, so long as things are going well in my life.