Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

[John]

Thank you. :) I'm great now. I'm so happy with Steve.

how did Josh take it?

[Gloomy Mushroom]

Nan's in hospital and her kidneys are only working at 20%. She tripped over a cord and broke her hip and needs hip surgery which will go down this afternoon.

:(

[Arlene]

how did Josh take it?

He took the break up fine. He doesn't know that I'm with Steve because we haven't talked. He hasn't tried contacting me at all. I mean, he DID message my friend 2 weeks after we broke up asking if I was happy but that's it.

[Derek The Infamous]

To all the ladies:

http://silent-hope.com/archives/114

[Dr. Octogonapus]

The only girl I have any interest in whatsoever just got back together with her ex. Great.

[Todd]

To all the ladies:

http://silent-hope.com/archives/114

Yeah, I don't get what the big deal is. So she posted a picture of her cleavage on the internet. Give me 2 seconds and Google Image Search and I'll find worse.

And she does have a nice pair of cans on her :lol:

[_cam_]

To all the ladies:

http://silent-hope.com/archives/114

:)

[Gloomy Mushroom]

He comes home from work and all does is play XBOX and watch TV and all I get is: How come you didn't clean the house? Why didn't you make the bed?
What am I a housewife? A slave? He doesn't cook let alone hang his towel up in the bathroom. Just because work's finished doesn't mean it's the end of the day. I hope he knows I do have a life outside of this house just because I don't work as much as I used to.
Why doesn't he make the bed?
Why doesn't he cook for a change?
Why doesn't he just get off my case and stop classifying me as a housewife?

[Messy Marj]

Wtf man, todays fucked, lifes fucked. When i arrived at work this morning i found it weird that the briefing was awfully short and my cheery teamleader was no longer cheery. Then the directrice came in and told us one of our people died last night. It was katja, i still cant believe it, 26 fucking years old, dead. Why? She felt fine in the bus 3hours before it happened. Fuck you death, you always take the good ones away too early.

[Luke]

Oh my god that's awful Marj...how did it happen if you don't mind me asking?

Sorry to hear it. :hug:

[[TDWP] Jacob]

I hate my life!

[Arlene]

:( I'm so sorry, Marj. That's awful. :hug:

Jacob: Aw, what's wrong?

[11:54]

I think I finally got a job!

[[TDWP] Jacob]

:( I'm so sorry, Marj. That's awful. :hug:

Jacob: Aw, what's wrong?

My love interest and I got an a huge argument over nothing. Literally over nothing. A little matter of me saying "I'm fine" when I wasnt became a huge mess.I do love this girl with all I have but I cant do it anymore. If she came back we will see what happens..if not then I'm not going to cry over it anymore. I'm hoping for the best and expecting the worse. I gave her back her bracelet and she cut my cross. Thats It I decided. I'm going to become a Monk of Music..no more girls. I cant take this madness anymore. I can't go more then 2 weeks in a relationship without this happening

[Babali]

My love interest and I got an a huge argument over nothing. Literally over nothing. A little matter of me saying "I'm fine" when I wasnt became a huge mess.

Next time when you're with someone, don't say you're fine when you're not. If you're in a relationship you should confide in that other person, they want you to. That may be why it became a mess, but I'm sure there's more to it.

My advice is don't become a Monk of Music, don't give up the females. You'll find someone who will be with you longer than two weeks eventually, and it'll be great and worth it. Take these relationships as experience to gain knowledge of the other gender and become a better person in the end.

[Iain]

Next time when you're with someone, don't say you're fine when you're not. If you're in a relationship you should confide in that other person, they want you to. That may be why it became a mess, but I'm sure there's more to it.

Yeah, but sometimes you just want to keep things to yourself, especially if you feel it's trivial.

[Arlene]

I'm sorry to hear that Jacob. I agree and disagree with Babali about sharing things. As Iain said, sometimes what you might be annoyed about or whatever is really trivial and you don't even wanna say anything, but if it looks like it might turn into something or she's genuinely concerned...just talk about it. Sometimes it's just easier to say what's up. You guys can work it out. Don't let little things get to you. I'm re-learning that myself, right now. Me and my new boyfriend Steve have been together for 3 weeks and I'm finding that I'm letting something eat at me and it's not good. Basically, he smokes pot occasionally with his friends, because that's what they do and he hardly gets to see them anymore. It's not a big deal. A lot of people smoke. But just for some reason I feel it pissing me off way too much and it really shouldn't. Here, I just need to get over it because do I want to fight over something trivial or just accept it and be happy? Choice 2, haha. Besides the smoking he's absolutely...amazing. So yeah. Sometimes you just gotta let little things slide. :hug:

[[TDWP] Jacob]

Next time when you're with someone, don't say you're fine when you're not. If you're in a relationship you should confide in that other person, they want you to. That may be why it became a mess, but I'm sure there's more to it.
.


Yeah, but sometimes you just want to keep things to yourself, especially if you feel it's trivial.



Ya both of you are right. I mean I now know that I should have maybe told her it bothered me a little bit but Iain is right. I didn't think it was a big deal. I did it to AVOID confrontation. not start it. I hope her and I can fix it. Arlene I know I know. She is an amazing person. like I said I hope things will work out. I love her

[[TDWP] Jacob]

SORRY FOR THE DOUBLE POST BUT
*Cryptic message alert*
so i sent her a song that ive been listening to all day (No Roads Left) because thats how her and I connect through music
and she sent the following


I hope you prove something to me
Then she quickly signed out
What does this mean?
does she want me to just know what she means?
does she want me to be better?
does she want me to wait to talk to her after school tommorow?
I need to know. because I will probably end up waiting for her to see
I really really want to fix this!
any females in the house that can help me translate
I need to know!

[Gloomy Mushroom]

^ Maybe if you wait for a couple of days and then talk to her again, and ask what that was about on MSN, maybe that'll give her time to think on what she meant by that (and you at the same time) and what she wants to do, because by the sounds of it she wants to be the one in control of the relationship. I don't know Jacob, even being female, some females confuse me a lot sometimes.

Me? I had the worst sleep last night. Couldn't get comfortable even with a pillow in between my legs, bub was moving around and wouldn't go to sleep, last night was worst ever she had been with me. Then when I was comfortable, I had to go to the bathroom and fill up a drink bottle of water because I felt a headache coming on. I was rather pissed at Ben last night for the raciest comments he was coming out with concerning aboriginals and muslims. I won't repeat them here because it would be breaking LPA rules and.. what if my daughter gets a friend who's a muslim or an aboriginal? What is he going to be like? I hate his racism and I don't want my daughter being influenced by such a thing.

[Linja]

I got my SAT scores today. I'm not very pleased, but I'm going to re-take it in November, and I'm thinking of doing a third Subject Test in December.

[Arlene]

Jacob: It sounds to me like she wants you to prove to her that you love her.

Which is kind of obnoxious.

[Ryo Hazuki]

to date, or not to date...

hmm,

[[TDWP] Jacob]

Jacob: It sounds to me like she wants you to prove to her that you love her.

Which is kind of obnoxious.

I do love her. more then anything. I wouldnt be here still if I didnt

[Arlene]

I do love her. more then anything. I wouldnt be here still if I didnt

I'm sure you do, but it sounds like she needs you to reassure her about that.

[Theazninvasion68]

FUCK YOU STEPMOM

AINT GIVING YOU SHIT FOR MONEY, LYING POS.

:angry:

[[TDWP] Jacob]

I'm sure you do, but it sounds like she needs you to reassure her about that.

I'm trying

[11:54]

I'm so sick of hearing about the Swine Flu. Everyone is panicking for no reason and it's all over rated. There's nothing to worry about.

[Gloomy Mushroom]

^ They're still talking about the Swine Flu? Wow, talk about overkill. I only hear about only when it's followed by the word 'vaccine' on tv.

@ Mav: Problems with stepmum again? *hugs*

[Dean]

I'm so sick of hearing about the Swine Flu. Everyone is panicking for no reason and it's all over rated. There's nothing to worry about.
Welcome to six months ago :P

[11:54]

Welcome to six months ago :P

Oh, I know it's been an ongoing thing, but I keep hearing about it in my town because evidently there aren't anymore vaccines. Hell, it was on the front page of the Sunday paper.

[Derek The Infamous]

People need to toughen up and stop being so fucking over-emotional all the time; or at least stop taking my words out of context and getting upset over them when it's obvious I didn't mean the words to come off that way.

I'm seriously tired of it, and it's fucking annoying. GET TO KNOW ME AND LEARN I'M NOT THE ASSHOLE YOU THINK I AM FOR GOD'S SAKE.

[Iain]

People need to toughen up and stop being so fucking over-emotional all the time; or at least stop taking my words out of context and getting upset over them when it's obvious I didn't mean the words to come off that way.

I'm seriously tired of it, and it's fucking annoying. GET TO KNOW ME AND LEARN I'M NOT THE ASSHOLE YOU THINK I AM FOR GOD'S SAKE.

I know how that goes. :hug:

I wish I could say that to my own family sometimes. :(

[[TDWP] Jacob]

She gave me another chance. Now I'm here. I'm going to win her heart or die trying. I'm not going to give up on her because she just might be the one I want to marry someday.you guys can call me crazy and you know what maybe I am. But I know she is worth it. I'm going to be there for her whenever she needs me and more. I dont care if her friend hates me because I caused her to cry. I will make up for everything I did. I want this more then anything. I need this more then anything. I will not stop. No force of nature or act of God will make me give up. I don't care. this is what I want and I've never been so sure

[_cam_]

If a person wants to be part of your life, they'll make an effort to be in it

[Iain]

^^ Not always the case, especially if they're unsure of themselves. Speaking from experience on that end, here.


WTF. I accidentally burnt toast this morning, in a brand new toaster (not used to the settings yet), and my mom's pissed at me. Just because I don't accept warm bread as toast doesn't mean she can yell at me for "wanting the whole house to smell like shit". I wanted toast, not warm bread, and I didn't mean to burn it. I would've turned it up to 10 if that were the case.

[Gloomy Mushroom]

I can't wait to move out away from my housemate. He's making a big deal over nothing.......AGAIN!

[11:54]

Man, people really hate it when someone doesn't sugar coat everything.

[Ryo Hazuki]

^ Some people perfer those who are blunt.

Anyway I've decided to decline the date, since she's not really my type. It seems shallow but really I'm not attracted to her, so.. Yeah.

Then, on that my sister almost jumped off of a bridge last night. There were a lot of witnesses I hear.

My gramma is in the hopital, which is surprising because she was expected to go, a long time ago. But really they expect her to go soon, in the week.

Some really strange thing is going on, my dads brother who has been missing for over twenty years, and thought to be dead has magically popped into existence, or at least someone is claming to be him but the evidence is sure persuasive.

[_cam_]

Jesse: *tap you on the shoulder*

Everyone has its own opinion and we just have to respect that. I'm not saying this for the sake of saying it or just to make a good rationalization to the things I can't hardly explain because that simple thought isn't that simple to ponder. In an argument, one way or another no matter how calm both of you if you have different opinions you'll still end up fighting. :mellow: Just like a year ago, I was into the Trivium board and there's this guy who doesn't like Nirvana. It was really fine to me if he doesn't like Nirvana and saying its over-rated or gayish coz I can take that comments but saying Kurt Cobain is talentless was the most insulting comment I've ever been read. I asked him what are his basis for saying it and all he could say ' He sucked in playing guitar'. That's all. Based on his reason, I think he's one of the people who doesn't really listen to Nirvana or he managed to listen but since LOTS of people like it so he thinks it's overrated. Plus, Kurt Cobain gain much popularity in the Grunge world. I gave him enough reason why Kurt Cobain isn't talentless. He doesn't just play guitar. He was a drummer at first. He's a song writer, painter and practically what does talent mean? No matter how I shoved it into his face that his reason suck and mine was more logical but it doesn't erased the fact that he's just not into Kurt Cobain. So, we ended up fighting and arguing all the way through. Now, I realized that I made a mistake. I gave him enough reasons not to say that and If he still don't like Kurt Cobain and thinks he's talentless, then fine. That's it. End of Story. This thought might be so simple but usu people argue on some nonsense topics because they keep insisting to what they think is right. Our brains may have the same function and structure but every people think differently. She maybe hot for you but for him she looks like a whore. A persons idea or thought is affected with so many factors could be biological, environmental and life experiences. We just have to accept that some people ideas suck sometimes. ^_^

[Theazninvasion68]

@ Sarah: Yeah and it's annoying me hella bad.

[Gloomy Mushroom]

In tears.

My cousin Nikki was found dead at the bottom of the stairs today by my Uncle John who came home about 5. There were no marks on her at all and the autopsy hasn't been performed, so we're hoping it was an accident.

It hasn't been a good day for me as there have been arguments between the whole household over little things.

And now this.

She was 27. RIP Nikki.

[_cam_]

Sarah: :hug:

[Theazninvasion68]

In tears.

My cousin Nikki was found dead at the bottom of the stairs today by my Uncle John who came home about 5. There were no marks on her at all and the autopsy hasn't been performed, so we're hoping it was an accident.

It hasn't been a good day for me as there have been arguments between the whole household over little things.

And now this.

She was 27. RIP Nikki.

:hug: RIP Nikki...

[Arlene]

I'm so sorry, Sarah. That's awful. :hug: :(

--

So I've pretty much decided that I really hate drinking. Well, drinking is fun, and being drunk is fun, but the aftermath is NOT fun. I've only been drunk 3 times and I just feel so terrible the next day. I'm prone to getting headaches so of course I get one the next morning, bluh. So yeah, getting drunk is really not worth my time.

[Gloomy Mushroom]

Thanks all.*hugs to all*

Arlene: You can always have a good time without getting smashed, well I've had to learn that the hard way. It's really not worth the money/time at all.

I've decided that I won't call up my Aunt & Uncle but merely give them space until the funeral. I hate when my boyfriend tells me that everything dies, he takes death another way obviously. I know everyone and everything has its time - but it is still a shock and a tragedy for my whole family.

[11:54]

So I've pretty much decided that I really hate drinking. Well, drinking is fun, and being drunk is fun, but the aftermath is NOT fun. I've only been drunk 3 times and I just feel so terrible the next day. I'm prone to getting headaches so of course I get one the next morning, bluh. So yeah, getting drunk is really not worth my time.

My girlfriend said the same thing, and I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told her. Wait until you're 21, it gets better and you'll be able to handle it a lot easier.

[Arlene]

Haha yeah, I guess. If I do end up going to another party (Steve often gets invites and he invites me along) I might have 1 or 2 Mike's Hard and then just relax and enjoy the evening rather than get stupid. I mean, I wasn't falling down drunk or anything, just drunk enough that I felt awful all day today, ha.

[11:54]

Christina had four Mike's and a half shot of some Jack Daniel's. She wasn't drunk at all, but said she felt horrid the next morning. I had about two shots of that whiskey and maybe 7 beers and was just getting started before I stopped.

[Arlene]

Ha, nice, Mike. I had a shot of 43 (although it was more than a shot, because it took a few gulps ha) and 5 mike's hard and I wasn't stumbling, just felt really odd, haha.

[Derek The Infamous]

You had 43? LOVE that stuff.

Here's what I drank last night:

A Mini-beer shot (43 liquor with a dash of milk which makes it look like a beer)
A tequila jello shot
3 Coconut Rum shots

:D

[Arlene]

Derek: Haha, nice. The 43 was actually mixed with heavy cream. It was interesting. Shots kinda kill me though. Especially since the 43 shot was my first bit of alcohol for the night, my stomach was like "WTF?!" :lol:

EDIT: Oh, and I totally got really sad about Josh last night. I had just gotten annoyed with Steve because he was smoking even though he said he most likely wouldn't, and then my friend Rachel was talking to me about her ex and I started talking about Josh and stuff and I almost made myself cry. I wish he didn't have to suck. But I know it's all for the better, I just find that when I'm already kinda down/vulnerable in any way and I think about him I get really sad. And that sucks.
I hate him for doing what he did to me. I hate that I didn't get rid of him sooner. I hate that I let him screw me over, over and over. And I hate that I still feel sad when I think about him.

[11:54]

Derek: Haha, nice. The 43 was actually mixed with heavy cream. It was interesting. Shots kinda kill me though. Especially since the 43 shot was my first bit of alcohol for the night, my stomach was like "WTF?!" :lol:

Liquor before beer, and you're in the clear.
Beer before liquor, and you'll get sicker.

[Luke]

Shots are awesome. I highly reccommend everyone try a baby guiness which is tia maria with baily's on top. Jack daniels, after shock, apple sours and jagermiester rule also.

[Dean]

Baileys on its own is the best drink in the world of any kind. Alcoholic or otherwise.

[Luke]

Baileys on its own is the best drink in the world of any kind. Alcoholic or otherwise.

Aye, 'tis very good. Drinking too much can give you fucked up bowel problems for a few days though. :lol:

[Dean]

I guess that's why when I drank a whole bottle after a few beers at a poker game a few months ago I ended up urinating on someone's hedge on the way home :lol:

[Iain]

I swore I'd break off contact with her, because I knew it wouldn't end well, and now I'm talking to her again. I must love disappointment.

[[TDWP] Jacob]

I got some soul searching to do ....

[Jen]

I got some soul searching to do ....

Seconded. That's the most appropriately fitting thing I have read all day.

[[TDWP] Jacob]

Seconded. That's the most appropriately fitting thing I have read all day.

well I hope your quest goes well. Mine aren't =(

[Arlene]

Oh you guys. :(
Last night, Josh called me. I haven't heard from him for a month (a month exactly since we broke up, as of yesterday). I'm so so confused. I know you'll all tell me that he's bad news and I made the right decision breaking up with him but I feel so lost.
He is beyond not okay. There have been times in the past when we've fought that he would summon up some tears, that may have been real, but were weak. Last night, he was sobbing to the point that if I didn't know that I was talking to him, I wouldn't have recognized who the hell he was. I have never heard him sob like that before. It scared me a lot.
He finally came forth about a hickey that was on his neck a year and a half ago. And the thing with the lingerie is almost believable...he said that it came in one of those bags like when you buy Halloween costumes, which have no tags on them. They honestly did not look used, but it still is a little sketchy. (For those who don't remember, I found lingerie in his room that did not belong to me. He told me he had bought it for me, because we talked about getting dressed up before. But there were no tags or anything, so it was weird.)
And I mean honestly, if he had other girls to play with why is he coming back to me, so sad and so lost? He doesn't need me if he has someone else. I'm not that freaking spectacular.
And of course he finally has more free time, because he was within weeks of breaking even on his bills when I broke up with him, so now he's all caught up and he's working a normal schedule and he has all this free time and noone to see and nothing to do with it. He grew away from his friends over the past 2 and some years, because he spent all his free time with me. So he has no friends to go to, his parents didn't even seem to care that we broke up, or to ask if he was okay. He seems so absolutely lost and depressed and it kills me. He was a part of my life for almost 2 and a half years.

But now I have Steve in the picture. My mom told me that I shouldn't jump into anything after Josh, but I hadn't heard from him, and I took that as, yeah, he really didn't give a fuck. He was just trying to give me my space since I was so straightforward and decided when I broke up with him (which I admit is true. I was just like, "well, listen, I don't trust you, and I don't believe you, and I can't be with you if you're going to lie to me.") So he was afraid to try to approach me or talk to me. And now I really wish I didn't jump into something with Steve because I'm so confused. Steve has been nothing but amazing, besides when he tells me that he won't smoke pot when I'm around, and then he does, or that he isn't going to drink because he has to drive, and then he does. Plus he's in my "group" of friends and that's really awkward if things with us go down the toilet. But he's cared about me, had time for me, goes to school full time. He's great. I'm just afraid now that I'm not ready for this and I can't be pulling him down with me. I don't know if I can handle this right now. I feel so lost and confused and I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt Steve or his family but I don't want Josh to go away, I really really don't. I don't want him gone. As crazy as it sounds I do still love him and I miss him and I miss his arms and his face and I can't stand it. And I don't love Steve, there hasn't been time for that. I do care about him, a lot, but I don't love him.
I don't know what to do.

[11:54]

If you go back to Josh I guarantee it'll go back to the way it was.

[Arlene]

If you go back to Josh I guarantee it'll go back to the way it was.

:unsure: But even if I don't jump back with him, what about Steve? I feel so lost and I don't feel that this is...fair. Steve is great but is it fair that I'm with him while I'm thinking about how I love and miss someone else? I just feel like I'm going to drag him down with me and...how is that fair? Now I'm just feeling like I really don't know if I can handle this right now. I don't know if I can handle another serious relationship. But I feel like I don't know how to NOT be serious.

[Jen]

:unsure: But even if I don't jump back with him, what about Steve? I feel so lost and I don't feel that this is...fair. Steve is great but is it fair that I'm with him while I'm thinking about how I love and miss someone else? I just feel like I'm going to drag him down with me and...how is that fair? Now I'm just feeling like I really don't know if I can handle this right now. I don't know if I can handle another serious relationship. But I feel like I don't know how to NOT be serious.

Arlene, this might come off as being harsh, but it isn't intended to be. Why be in a relationship at all? You are young, and trust me, being so young and in a serious relationship isn't always the best thing. What you want in a boyfriend now, and from the sounds of it, Josh and you had been planning on a lifetime together, might not necessarily be what you want in five years. You are going to change, a lot in the years after you finish high school, and your wants and needs in a partner will change as well. Go out with your friends, go on dates with Steve, and just see what happens.

[11:54]

Well, I'm not trying to be an asshole when I say this hun, but a lot of us here, when you told us you broke up with Josh and had Steve to fall back on, suggested that you wait it out and see what would happen instead of jumping into another relationship right away.

What I would do is, since you're lost and don't really know what to do, is tell Steve that you can't handle a relationship right now. If he's half the man you say he is, then he'll understand. Sit back, get yourself some you time, and see what happens. Keep Josh as a friend and just see what happens, ya'know?

[Arlene]

Yeah...thanks guys. I think I might have to do that. I just feel so awful and confused. That's kinda what my dad said...that I just need to kinda take a step back and see how it goes. I keep crying...this is ridiculous. I feel so awful.

[Harlz]

What I would do is, since you're lost and don't really know what to do, is tell Steve that you can't handle a relationship right now. If he's half the man you say he is, then he'll understand. Sit back, get yourself some you time, and see what happens. Keep Josh as a friend and just see what happens, ya'know?

This. Can't think of a better solution.
But I feel for you, it's rough :(

[John]

That's the best solution for it and it's not even close. Break up with Steve (but keep him as a friend) keep Josh also as a friend (don't go into a relationship with him.. for now) and stay single for the time being. :)

[Theazninvasion68]

@Arlene :hug: Ohhh.

Loook, You don't have to jump ships on anyone, and it wouldn't help to take advice without your own days upon hours of consideration. Then, you would grow and learn yourself more, or the situation more.

Stick with Steve, but do talk to Josh. Talk to Josh as a friend and hangout with him. See if it's what you really want, or is what you wanted before.


What im trying to say here is just stick to Steve, and talk to Josh (while being a good lil' kitten) and just figure out more. What we all say who to jump with or who to stick with is all speculative on the outcome, but if you don't do much aside talk to Josh, again, as a friend-base...You'll just know more on what to do.

[Iain]

Someday, I'm going to have lived most of my life, and I don't know right now if I'll have anything to show for it. :(

[Theazninvasion68]

Someday, I'm going to have lived most of my life, and I don't know right now if I'll have anything to show for it. :(

You know, a journal is a testament of your doings for your kids, and grandkids, for show.

[Iain]

You know, a journal is a testament of your doings for your kids, and grandkids, for show.

No, I mean I don't know if I'll have accomplished anything I find worthwhile. That's the point that I'm at right now. I really don't want to look back in fifty years and think "you know, I wish I'd done more with my life."

[Arlene]

Thanks guys. Yeah, I talked to Steve last night and he was really cool about things. He understands that I need time to heal and stuff and he suggested that we take a break for me to think things over. So yeah it's good. I mean, it sucks and everything and I don't like to have to do that to him because he's such a great guy to me, but, it's best. He understand so that's what matters. I just don't want to do something that might ultimately hurt him more, yknow? If I stay with him and pretend that I don't miss Josh, that's not right, because I'm lying to both of us.

So yeah I plan on just kinda taking a big step back, and not being serious with either of them. Maybe go on a few dates, but keep it casual, and talk to Josh, bring him slowly back into my life. He suggested that we start over, which would be good. Go waaay back to the beginning to see if I could trust him and whatnot. I dunno. So yeah.

Thanks for everyones advice and stuff. It means a lot to me. I'll update you guys with stuff. :)

[Derek The Infamous]

I would not trust Josh as bf material ever again, if I were you Arlene. He didn't respect you, didn't see what he had and therefore does not deserve you. Trust me. He might act like he's turned over a new leaf..like he admits his mistakes and that he'll be a different guy...but give him a few months to grow comfortable and he'll be the same guy all over again. I guarantee it. There were just way too many "iffy" moments in the relationship where you suspected he was cheating, and chances are he was.

If you date him again or have him as anything more than just a friend, your heart will be broken in less than a year. That's a promise.

I wouldn't talk to Josh for a while, allow yourself to heal..and don't date anybody. Just enjoy the single life and let yourself heal. If Josh comes back into your life it'll eradicate all the progress you made, and you'll be absolutely miserable. Give it a break, and give love a break. You were doing better without him, even I could see this.

[Ryo Hazuki]

I know it's late but thanks Cam!

---
Friends suck, I mean really bad. My friends at least.

I actually should have knew better because he's always been an jerk but really I thought maybe he'd learned his lesson from being such a douche, I guess not. Anyway now he plans to date the only girl who I actually really like now a days and have liked for a few years, the problem being she lives too far away. This girl also likes me but anyway, she likes him too (reason? girls like assholes is the only reason I can think of) so he moves there, he dates her, she gets heart broken and realize that she was being an idiot for dating a douche.

Being that this is the same "friend" that told his ex girlfriend that I took all sorts of drugs and was an alcoholic because he was afraid that I was going to steal his girlfriend from him (whom I really had no interested in what so ever) should have been enough to let me know once and for all that he wasn't friend material but like I said, he said he was off the drugs, he said he was getting his life together, started working in a hospital (and then getting fired because of, what else? someone reporting him for drugs)

No, they haven't started dating yet, but I think they're close to it and that it's very gosh damn ironic that he'd end up doing that. It makes me sad that she'd consider him too since he's a liar, a cheater, a back stabber, a manipulative schemer, a hypocrite, a instigator. Well, really I don't know what other word to call him cause he's a whole lot of no good.

So I guess the lesson here is, friends don't work out for me.
Girls that I like, end up dating jerks.
Life goes on, no matter how bitter-sweetly.

----
end rant

[Harlz]

Wow. She said I love you.
This is... A big change. Two days ago I thought she was disinterested and over it.
I think it means something too, since it's taken us over 5 months to say it.

[_cam_]

Jesse: No problem dude!. BTW, Have you notice that if you like someone they don't end up dating with you or doesn't like you? and vice versa, If someone likes you, you don't like them. It's actually confusing but that is always the case. I asked my friends about it and they all experience it. It's just weird. :lol:


---------------------------------
I don't know If I should put it here but it's something I want to let it out. It's just a nonsense thought :lol: Anyway, I like what I'm feeling so Im gonna share it. I've been registered to Myspace just 2 or 3 months ago, usually I don't have really "real" friends their more often than not those are just random people I added. Asians don't usu used Myspace instead we used Friendster or now, Facebook. In that 30 plus friends of mine, I added like 8 people (LP, Trivium, Max, Kyle, Alex Evans, David, and 2 other girls). Just now, I realized one of my friends named Noel is a model. I don't have any idea who he was. So, I checked it out. It was so funny coz he is a model. I mean literally. I thought it's just a joke but it isn't based on the photos and people's comments. He's a ramp model of Kenneth Cole, Tommy Hilfiger, and Nautica. Also Macy, Gap and Levis. I dont know if it's a joke but he got photos from friends, families and even him standing his own billboard. Maybe it was him or not or whatever. The main point is, I never requested in adding him coz I dont have any single idea who he was, so it's either he requested it or maybe a technical problem in Myspace. :lol: Whatever it is, I'm feeling so beautiful now. I know Myspace is just a joke or what but the thing is, it increases my self esteem. This is a nonsense thought but whatever. I'm feeling so beautiful today :P Aslo, conceited. :lol:

[[TDWP] Jacob]

If two people love each other. shouldn't they be together. Doesn't that make sense. Why is she locking me out. I know she loves me. she just doesnt say it anymore. She admits that she does. Why are things so bad between us. Why does it seem like everything I do just makes things worse. Why can't I just drop it and go with the flow like what she wants. Why do I feel like shit all of the time. I love her. she knows I do. More then life itself. Why isnt this working. How come things can't revert to the the way they were before. I feel like crying =(

[Arlene]

If two people love each other. shouldn't they be together. Doesn't that make sense. Why is she locking me out. I know she loves me. she just doesnt say it anymore. She admits that she does. Why are things so bad between us. Why does it seem like everything I do just makes things worse. Why can't I just drop it and go with the flow like what she wants. Why do I feel like shit all of the time. I love her. she knows I do. More then life itself. Why isnt this working. How come things can't revert to the the way they were before. I feel like crying =(

She's gotta come to you sweetheart. It sounds like you're trying hard and at this point you've done your part yknow? You have to wait until she shows you that she loves you too. :hug:

--
Okay, so I saw Josh last night. It was really weird. I had no idea how to approach him or anything. We hugged...and I felt home. That's where I was supposed to be.
Anyway, so we talked about things. I told him we can try to start over from the beginning, build a foundation of trust and see what happens, no promises that it's gonna last or be anything. He cried a lot, it was pretty scary. And then he said "you don't have to answer this if you don't want to...but did you and Steve do anything?" And I just responded with raised eyebrows "that's none of your business." So he took that as a yes because he knows me. At this he started freaking out really bad...just like, crying hard, kinda hyperventilating and sounding like he was gunna throw up. Which he did. He was really hurt by the thought of me being with someone else, obviously. So while he was freaking out I said "doesn't this feeling suck? This is how I've felt. I didn't care or feel guilty because I thought you were doing the same thing to me for the past year." I think kinda putting it into perspective made him kinda realize why I acted how I did. Looking back, I was kind of a bitch, but I'm really happy that I didn't cry or crack while talking to him about things.

So after talking to Josh, I told Steve that it would be best if I just stay single. It was just kinda undecided for a while what was happening with us because I don't want Steve gone but I don't want Josh gone either. So I told him that it was better if we just break up, because it's not fair for me to be dragging him along with me while I try to make a decision. And he was just like "okay", no problem, it's all good. I went to sleep. In the morning, he started texting me. Basically, he's not ready to be "out of the picture" yet. He thinks Josh is bad news, which I can understand, and it kinda seems like he's willing to fight for me...which I didn't expect, because he just seems so chill with everything. So I dunno. So we broke up basically, but it doesn't seem like it. He's not ready to go away. And I think he's trying to prove to me that he's the right choice, just being very sweet and stuff.
This weekend me and Steve had made plans to drive to Boston to see my sister, which we're still doing so we'll see how that goes. We work very naturally together so I don't think we'll be all awkward around each other.

So yeah sorry if that was kinda random. My thoughts are confused haha

[Dean]

I feel so stressed out right now. Holy shit.

[_cam_]

'I've even wondered if we should be getting under these sheets. We could lie in this bed but its empty. It's empty. Maybe we're trying. Trying too hard. Maybe we're torn apart. Maybe the timing is beating our hearts. We're empty' -Empty(The Click Five)

Have you ever been in a stiuation wherein everything seems to be perfect and happy but you can't feel anything not even happiness or sadness? Joram is always perfect to my family, friends and to people who knows our love story. When we parted ways, it was a 'good' goodbye. No hatred or anything. It's been 3 years since we lost communication and now, he's back. People are so excited. Everything seems to be in a right place except to me. I don't know if this is God's will that he's now here again to make me feel better after I lost my heart to Anthony but one thing for sure, I'm not going to start a new relationship just for the sake of having one. I don't want to be unfair to him. Joram is always special and will always be. He's always be a part of my life and I don't want to used him. When we talked over the phone, I felt different. There's always a special beat for past love but now it's lacking of something--an energy, a drive, a spark. I don't know. Honestly, If I'm going to look inside my heart it's empty. It's not a numb feeling or confused. It's just blank. It's not even a sad feeling. It's like you're sitting in a cafe, you're eating cake but instead of being happy, you're thoughtless. That's it. He invited me last Friday to watch his band playing in Garahe and I didn't replied to him. I know he's trying and I know I'm killing his pride. I don't want to play games. I don't want also to let Joram see I have other guy. I would prefer him to have a new girl than me having a new guy. I don't want to hurt him at the same time my feelings for him is like a body without a soul, it's empty. This is a weird feeling. I think I'm not ready to any possibilities. I'm making a huge, absurd and honest move.

[Iain]

I feel like I'm missing something important.

[Louis]

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT I HATE THIS. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

*sighs*

[Luke]

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT I HATE THIS. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

*sighs*

What's up dude? We're here for you. ;)


I don't fucking believe what's going on back home. My friend is seeing that psycho bitch again behind our backs and she's stalking a few of my friends. She's managed to hack into my mates facebook account and see that we're going to a standup show and a gig in december and she's just announced on her facebook she's going to both too which is strange considering neither event would have appealed to her in the past. I also found out that that satanic bible I found in my living room in January is more than likely hers because she left one at my friends house and aother mate has also found one under his bed and she's been to all 3 houses (back when she seemed like a nice normal girl) - NONE OF US ARE INTO THAT FUCKED UP SHIT. This girl is truly fucking psycho.

[[TDWP] Jacob]

I feel lost again and I don't even know why this time. Everything is ok between her,though not exactly where I would like it to be but its getting better everyday, and that use to be the main source of my problems in recent weeks. So whats going on with me?. Why do I feel sad=/. (sigh) how come life couldn't be simpler. I'm only 16 years old and I hardly enjoy my days anymore. I hardly sleep anymore the only way I can is if im like waked on cough medicine and that knocks me out and not just an average dose either I have double what an adult sized man should have just to take me down because the normal dose doesnt do it. It's amazing how things go up and down so quickly. Like a rollercoaster. I wish I could go back to mid october where I was happy and feeling great about myself. now here in mid november no less then a month later I feel like crap and have become so unsure, not only about others but,about myself. I don't know anymore guys. I just dont know :(

[Ryo Hazuki]

Jesse: No problem dude!. BTW, Have you notice that if you like someone they don't end up dating with you or doesn't like you? and vice versa, If someone likes you, you don't like them. It's actually confusing but that is always the case. I asked my friends about it and they all experience it. It's just weird. :lol:


---------------------------------
I don't know If I should put it here but it's something I want to let it out. It's just a nonsense thought :lol: Anyway, I like what I'm feeling so Im gonna share it. I've been registered to Myspace just 2 or 3 months ago, usually I don't have really "real" friends their more often than not those are just random people I added. Asians don't usu used Myspace instead we used Friendster or now, Facebook. In that 30 plus friends of mine, I added like 8 people (LP, Trivium, Max, Kyle, Alex Evans, David, and 2 other girls). Just now, I realized one of my friends named Noel is a model. I don't have any idea who he was. So, I checked it out. It was so funny coz he is a model. I mean literally. I thought it's just a joke but it isn't based on the photos and people's comments. He's a ramp model of Kenneth Cole, Tommy Hilfiger, and Nautica. Also Macy, Gap and Levis. I dont know if it's a joke but he got photos from friends, families and even him standing his own billboard. Maybe it was him or not or whatever. The main point is, I never requested in adding him coz I dont have any single idea who he was, so it's either he requested it or maybe a technical problem in Myspace. :lol: Whatever it is, I'm feeling so beautiful now. I know Myspace is just a joke or what but the thing is, it increases my self esteem. This is a nonsense thought but whatever. I'm feeling so beautiful today :P Aslo, conceited. :lol:

Maybe you feel beautiful because you are!

Also about the liking thing , the thing about that is that she confessed to me that she did indeed love me. That was about a year and a half ago? She knew I was still in love with someone else anyway, though I did confess to liking her then... hmm

[F-ck Casey]

What's up dude? We're here for you. ;)


I don't fucking believe what's going on back home. My friend is seeing that psycho bitch again behind our backs and she's stalking a few of my friends. She's managed to hack into my mates facebook account and see that we're going to a standup show and a gig in december and she's just announced on her facebook she's going to both too which is strange considering neither event would have appealed to her in the past. I also found out that that satanic bible I found in my living room in January is more than likely hers because she left one at my friends house and aother mate has also found one under his bed and she's been to all 3 houses (back when she seemed like a nice normal girl) - NONE OF US ARE INTO THAT FUCKED UP SHIT. This girl is truly fucking psycho.

what is so "psycho" about the Satanic Bible, might I ask? I cherish my copy.

[Luke]

what is so "psycho" about the Satanic Bible, might I ask? I cherish my copy.

Nothing psycho about the satanic bible but don't you think it's a little weird that someone goes to someone's house and hides a copy of the satanic bible there? Not even Jehovahs witnesses leave bibles with you...

I forgot to mention this girl also has a human skeleton underneath her bed. She says she aqquired it using her medical practician license but medical student or not I don't think anyone in their right mind would want a skeleton under their bed.

I dunno, call me old fashioned but this girl is weird.

[F-ck Casey]

It's a good way to get people interested in Satanism, I guess. But yeah, that is pretty weird. You said she used to seem normal? Something obviously happen between then and now to make her personality change to that extreme. I don't know if you actually care about trying to find out what's up and maybe help (I can't say I'd blame you if you didn't :P), but all of this seems like a huge cry for help, maybe, but more than likely she's just starved for attention though.

[Trumtram]

in the last 14 days i attended 6 shows.
dredg (twice)
rise against, thursday
muse
a day to remember, bring me the horizon
manchester orchestra

feeling unbelievable happy and epic. any other feeling would be unnatural :D.

[Luke]

It's a good way to get people interested in Satanism, I guess. But yeah, that is pretty weird. You said she used to seem normal? Something obviously happen between then and now to make her personality change to that extreme. I don't know if you actually care about trying to find out what's up and maybe help (I can't say I'd blame you if you didn't :P), but all of this seems like a huge cry for help, maybe, but more than likely she's just starved for attention though.

It's more than likely attention. Me and my friends are caring people and would help her, but she's done so much to piss us off in this past year that we could care less about her now.

[Gloomy Mushroom]

Bub's getting a bit heavy....

[[TDWP] Jacob]

So I think I figured out the problem is me. I need to get my life together before she can get involved. Maybe I need to seek health

[Twizted]

I'm getting tired of having a random thought and then having it come true. I know it sounds stupid and I'm not expecting anyone to believe me, especially when I do think about something so random that I don't bother to tell anyone so there is no 'proof', but it is still strange.

Latest example, for anyone that wants to know: There has been a woman missing for just over a year now, she lived less then 5 minutes from my house, (we didn't know her or anything, but we live in a small ass town so it was still strange) and we found out there was going to be a news conference about the police finding her body today. On the way home we passed by a road we always pass by, and I was about to say "I bet they found her somewhere off Hester Road", but of course I didn't. That would be stupid. Of all the wooded areas around here, there's no way she could be anywhere near there.
News conference a few minutes ago said they found her off of Sam Moss Hayes Road. And here is a google map: http://tinyurl.com/ybxnbn7
WTF. I know I can't prove this or anything, but it's still crazy to me. Of course it would've actually helped to 'find' this out a long time ago, and since they had already found her it doesn't help any, but still.. I should open my mouth more. :lol:

[[TDWP] Jacob]

So its finished. she is out of my life for good
She probably wont sign on here anymore thank God

[Arlene]

Jacob: You broke up with her? Why did you do that?

[[TDWP] Jacob]

Jacob: You broke up with her? Why did you do that?

She said someone else was giving her "butterflies" fuck that
No point in sticking around
I dont care anymore
She is no different than every other girl that has come and gone

[Arlene]

She said someone else was giving her "butterflies" fuck that
No point in sticking around
I dont care anymore
She is no different than every other girl that has come and gone

:( I'm sorry to hear this hon...I know you were having a hard time dealing with your relationship recently and I'm really sorry that it turned out negatively. Listen, if she's meant to be, you'll find your way back to each other.

I hope you're okay! If you ever need someone to talk to, send me a PM whenever :)

[[TDWP] Jacob]

:( I'm sorry to hear this hon...I know you were having a hard time dealing with your relationship recently and I'm really sorry that it turned out negatively. Listen, if she's meant to be, you'll find your way back to each other.

I hope you're okay! If you ever need someone to talk to, send me a PM whenever :)

:hug: Thank you Arlene
I apperciate it and I may have to hold you to that PM offer
Maybe not now but whenever I can clear my head of all my anger and sadness
and yeah but if she were to come back. I don't think I will take her back
Idk maybe I'm just mad. I don't really know what to hope for right now
so I've been writing nonstop for like the last 48 hours. stoping only for sleep and food. I got 3 hours of sleep last night and I just dont feel well

[Theazninvasion68]

Bub's getting a bit heavy....

:) your baby is growing, yet it will be tiny when you actually see your baby!

[Arlene]

:hug: Thank you Arlene
I apperciate it and I may have to hold you to that PM offer
Maybe not now but whenever I can clear my head of all my anger and sadness
and yeah but if she were to come back. I don't think I will take her back
Idk maybe I'm just mad. I don't really know what to hope for right now
so I've been writing nonstop for like the last 48 hours. stoping only for sleep and food. I got 3 hours of sleep last night and I just dont feel well

:( I understand. Just give it time. :hug:

--

So, I've finally officially decided no more Josh. I've just been realizing recently, as me and him have been talking and seeing each other, that we're fine...it's just that when he would text me to say that he misses me, I would respond that I missed him too...but up until that point I hadn't thought about him once. I know that I love him...but I think that I was trying to make us work to make HIM happy, not me, because I knew he was hurting and he was so sad and I wanted to fix him.
But it's not what I want, anymore, right now, who knows. I want to be the one for him but I just don't feel like I used to. Right now I'm more interested to see where Steve leads. I think my relationship with him can go somewhere healthy and good. And I feel good about this. I mean, I feel sad for Josh and about Josh but I couldn't keep lying to him. Maybe somewhere down the road, if it's meant to be me and Josh will find our way back together, but now is not our time.

I just hope that he's okay. I wish I could cure his sadness without making him more sad.

[Derek The Infamous]

:( I understand. Just give it time. :hug:

--

So, I've finally officially decided no more Josh. I've just been realizing recently, as me and him have been talking and seeing each other, that we're fine...it's just that when he would text me to say that he misses me, I would respond that I missed him too...but up until that point I hadn't thought about him once. I know that I love him...but I think that I was trying to make us work to make HIM happy, not me, because I knew he was hurting and he was so sad and I wanted to fix him.
But it's not what I want, anymore, right now, who knows. I want to be the one for him but I just don't feel like I used to. Right now I'm more interested to see where Steve leads. I think my relationship with him can go somewhere healthy and good. And I feel good about this. I mean, I feel sad for Josh and about Josh but I couldn't keep lying to him. Maybe somewhere down the road, if it's meant to be me and Josh will find our way back together, but now is not our time.

I just hope that he's okay. I wish I could cure his sadness without making him more sad.

I am happy you are finally seeing the light. I didn't think towards the end of your relationship that Josh was not going to work out and that he was not the one for you.

Hang in there.

[Harlz]

I am so fucking happy.

[Luke]

My entire life is balancing on a knifes edge at the moment...there's so many things that could go really well but if they fail I have no idea what kind of hell I might end up in and I'm more anxious and worried about life in general than I ever have been.

[Arlene]

Thanks Derek. I'm okay. Happier, really, now that I've made a decision. I mean, I feel so sorry for him and I wish I could fix that but...I can't. So yeah. Thanks :)

[Linja]

I got my November SAT1 scores! I did better!

[Theazninvasion68]

Sake: Horray! :D Congrats!

Arlene: I'm glad you come to realization and made a choice. You can't cure anyone's sadness, really, it's just you trying to encourage them out of it. Hope Steve works out fine ^^;

[Arlene]

Sake: Horray! :D Congrats!

Arlene: I'm glad you come to realization and made a choice. You can't cure anyone's sadness, really, it's just you trying to encourage them out of it. Hope Steve works out fine ^^;

:) Thanks! I have high hopes for me and Steve; we just work great together. So yay! A decision was a good thing, haha

[Theazninvasion68]

:) Thanks! I have high hopes for me and Steve; we just work great together. So yay! A decision was a good thing, haha

It's good to have hope and that you and Steve just work so well! :)

==========================






I GOT AN A ON MY PHILOSOPHY PAPER AND EVEN ASKED ME TO SUBMIT A COPY TO USE AS AN EXAMPLE PAPER!!


WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

[Iain]

I love how when I try to explain things to my family, they constantly run over what I'm saying, because apparently they already know what I'm going to say. And then to make matters worse, they don't even get what I'm trying to say, because they didn't take the time to listen to what I was saying, and actually let me finish.

[Jen]

For fucks sake, could you possibly be any more selfish? I mean really, that's so not the way to do things.

and, why do I think I messed up yet again. *shoot me* gahhhh

[[TDWP] Jacob]

I had another panic attack last night. That made it three on the day. they keep getting worse

[Gloomy Mushroom]

Seriously some people need to get a life off Facebook.

This girl I know is in freakin' labour and has the time to update her facebook status to tell the world that she's being induced.

And oh yay, 10 weeks until the big day ^^ or maybe before.

[Jen]

Seriously some people need to get a life off Facebook.

This girl I know is in freakin' labour and has the time to update her facebook status to tell the world that she's being induced.

And oh yay, 10 weeks until the big day ^^ or maybe before.

Trust me Sarah, having been induced, you have hours of literally doing nothing but either laying in bed or walking, walking, walking....

[Gloomy Mushroom]

I would personally choose the walking option over telling people I'm being induced.

I want bub out of me - now. Yes I'm at the stage where I'm fed up being pregnant.

[Derek The Infamous]

I want bub out of me - now. Yes I'm at the stage where I'm fed up being pregnant.

You don't want to have the kid born prematurely like I was because if it's 2 months premie (like I was) it can sometimes mean a lot of health problems for the child. I know it's annoying, but the truth is the kid's health depends on it.