online dating

[rosanna]

do you find it ethical? do you think it should be allowed? do you participate? do you worry about people lying about themselves?


anything else...add it in.


i started one, but i don't think i am going to continue. anyone else?

[Mark]

Rarely works.

[Todd]

I would never do it, but I've got nothing against it. If people want to use the interent to find dates, who am I to stop them?

[Chris(tmas)]

It works. Well, I dont do it, but one of my friends did it and she's happy :)

[rosanna]

yeah but i don't think they work as well as people say. or if they do, then there is an equal amount of relationships that don't work.

and i would also be worried about people making stuff up to get to someone, like a serial rapist or something. or even to make themselves look better. there is too much room to lie. even though it's a good idea, people always want to look better.

[Messy Marj]

Depends on the person.
If they both really want to, it works.

But there are always persons who can't wait for so long and sneak with someone else behind their lovers back.

[Neil]

Probably no different from normal dating services..

[Chris(tmas)]

yeah but i don't think they work as well as people say. or if they do, then there is an equal amount of relationships that don't work.

My friend sees her boyfriend in the weekends :lol: As long as you see each other in real life, I wont laugh at you.

[rosanna]

i don't know, i have one on yahoo and my friend just informed me that he did too, idk it's like a thing we do around here even if we have someone in real life. just to see how it is i guess.


i wouldn't mind finding someone on the internet but they better not be lying about themselves or i wold cut that out quick.

[Tomi]

You know what amuses me? Those online couples that live halfway across the continent from each other, then one of them moves to live with the other, then eventually they breakup. Then the one who moved is fucked. :lol:

I don't have much of an opinion of online dating. It should be allowed, legal, whatever. And if you're going to lie about yourself, then you shouldn't bother.

[F-ck Casey]

I met my girlfriend on MySpace. Granted she goes to my school, lives in my town and lives 5 minutes away from me, but if it wasn't for MySpace/Internet, I wouldn't have ever talked to her probably.

I've also had an internet girlfriend. She used to post here. If you've been here awhile, you probably know who I'm talking to. It obviously didn't work out, and we don't talk much anymore.

[rosanna]

the internet is so much different than in person. i talk to my friends online and on the phone and i find it hard to believe they are the same people. seriously.

[Tomi]

the internet is so much different than in person. i talk to my friends online and on the phone and i find it hard to believe they are the same people. seriously.
*snickers* I surprise a lot of people that know me in real life when I talk to them online. It's quite amusing. :lol:

[rosanna]

or you have internet arguments with someone and it's like it never happened in real life...or vice versa.

isn't that insane?

i don't think i would be able to trust an online person in person (did that make sense?) cuz personalities really come through on the internet. therefore the person that you are trying to get with on the internet is not the person that you are going to meet. make sense...?...cuz i know what i am trying to say, but i don't know if i'm saying it right.

[tremulant]

well i met my fiancee over the net... it wasnt delibertate... i didnt really care or understood online romance..

we just found eachother and started talking.. and started talking more.. soon enough we became best friends and slowly knew everything about eachother.. After talking everyday for 6 months we decided we wanted to be together and we stayed loyal to eachother for a year until she gave up her life there to fly down here and we've been living together happily since :)

It works :) .. you just need to find the right person and know that you can really trust that person.. you cant just keep it over the computer too.. you have to talk over the phone, send letters, photos.. that kinda stuff... if you reduce the relationship to just lines of text or the random email then its not going to go very far.. Also you have to be committed.. it cant just be something for fun, if you dont take it seriously its going to end in heartache and if you fall victim to the shit people throw at you for having an online gf/bf then its also not going to work

[Mark]

There are special cases, but for every 1 person who's successful at online dating, there's thousands more failing. It's like a lottery, you have a chance at succeeding, but the odds aren't exactly in your favour.

[Anya]

Eh, I've done it quite a few times. It never really works, unless you try hard enough at it. It's very hard though because you're not able to stay together for very long, one or the other soon decides that they find someone else who lives in their town and is much closer.

[Will]

I think it's cool so long as you really try to find someone perfect for you. And so long as you're not lying and the person you're meeting isn't lying. And so long as you don't really care about looks too much (let's face it -- not everyone who uses online dating services are the best looking). I've done it a couple of times and both times it didn't work out. But that's because I was stupid about it. And they were hundreds of miles away. :lol:

[rosanna]

yeah, what will said.

not that i am incredibly desperate or anything, but i think it might be a good idea cuz people online don't know about all the drama surrounding me in elkton, md. (oh shit did i just say that...?...don't stalk me)

[Intergalactic Christ]

Meh, it's hard enough having friendships with someone on the other side of the world, a relationship would probably kill me.

[rosanna]

and you can never be sure that what you are dealing with is something that is true or not, if the person that you are talking to is really who you think they are.

its hard enough to find that out in real life, let alone online.

[Derek The Infamous]

I for one find it entirely stupid, and by irony I was just thinking about how much they disgust me before I saw this thread. They are hardly an accurate representation of a relationship and I must recommend people who are considering to do it, to think twice before trying to commit to one.

For starters, you dont have the things that are all too important to a relationship. That includes intimate touching and displays of affection. No I don't mean sex. I mean wrapping your arms around the person you love, or stroking their hair..kissing them on the lips or having eye to eye contact with them. Without that, soon one of the parties involved gets bored or tired of it. There's almost never honesty involved in the relationship, cause whether its the man or the woman one of them either isn't being loyal to the one they claim to love or just flat out cheating outright.

Think I'm just talking shit? Take it from my experience. More than two of my online ex's cheated on me with several different guys. Biggest clause in this whole ordeal is, if you do it make sure you actually ASK the person out. Cause if you're boyfriend and girlfriend without the title, and really close..they still have an excuse to cheat because you dont 'own them' or whatever way you wanna word it.

Secondly, if you have an online relationship and they have something with another person (confirmed) dont trust them when they say its nothing and that they really care about you. Ashley told me that and wound up never going out with me, besides me getting really involved and into a emotional hole I'm only just starting to get out of. When you get that into a person you cannot hold or love in person, its not healthy. The damage it leaves you with once it is all said and done is not worth the investment you put into it in the first place.

When you know someone strictly by online there's a whole 'nother side to them that you dont know about. The internet is perfect for being the person you want to be, as just about nobody is like they are on the internet in real life. I am a very outgoing person on the internet and very brave at saying what I want to say, yet in real life I am quiet until I can trust the person and feel like I can be myself around them. Just Ashley was magnificent on the net, and turned out to be a self absorbed bitch in real life.

Bottom line, if everyone was like they are on the net, we'd all be supermodels with magnificentely good looks and perfect bodies.

People lie. Online relationships feed into that lie. Don't do them.

[rosanna]

eh HEM! imagine, children, that this is an online dating community.

now if i based my entire view of derek on that statement he made, then i would see him as someone that really knows what they are talking about and want out of life.

but you can't do that. how do i know he didn't get that online somewhere and copy and paste it here? (i know you didn't do that derek...)

he says he's been through this, and i believe him. BUT what if he wasn't and just made it up to lure some unsuspecting girl into thinking that he's all sensitive and shit cuz he's been through something that he just made up?

see you never know.

in theory it is a good idea. but the internet is too big, too much room for mistakes.

like yahoo, they are good because you can find people near you. so you can see them and get close to them instead of finding someone halfway around the world and deciding who is going to move where. but still.

[Derek The Infamous]

:lol:.

Interesting way to say it but thus, that wasn't the way I intended it to be applied.

[Louis]

Well, I agree with Derek, but you've got to think about it.

There are so many people who have actually had successful marriages, and they met through online dating websites.

I mean, sure, sometimes people are really clueless online. They don't really show their real selves, and it's not necessarily a true thing (anybody read the article about the man who, without knowing, was online dating his own mother?).

Online dating is stupid to me, but there are people who can only look to that if they just can't get someone in real life. And sometimes, it ends up being successful.

[Derek The Infamous]

Yeah but those successful online relationships are not as common as advertised by online dating services and such. Maybe about 20% of every population.

[rosanna]

:lol:.

Interesting way to say it but thus, that wasn't the way I intended it to be applied.

well i am in a good mood today. :D (i really like this smiley) alcohol induced, but beggars can't be choosers.

seriously though, i find it hard enough to trust someone in real life, although it kind of is easier to trust people online, like you guys, but the thing is that none of you know me in my everyday life. someone that i would be trying to have a relationship with is an entirely different story.

other than the trust issue, i don't have a problem with online dating. like the moving thing, you don't even know if it will work out so why stress over who you're talking to and their location until you need to?

i would never lie about how i look on the internet. i do not like the way i look, but i would be honest. however, i might lie about other things like my location or something, at least until i got to know that person better. to protect myself, not to make myself look better.

but yeah, like derek said, i am not like this in real life at all. i do not talk to anyone. at all. unless i get drunk or something. so whatever you guys think i am right now, i'm not. and i don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. but that is because i don't have my looks and my past and my...life preceding my actions on the internet.

[Derek The Infamous]

It's easier for me to trust people online as well, but that sadly becomes my downfall every time.

[rosanna]

ideally, if you found someone close to you that you were interested in, you could just keep the relationship platonic, without issues that require trust, until you end up talking in person and you get to know who they really are. like casey did. i hate to bash this internet dating thing, especially since it looks like my last hope, but people in person can lie too. in the end you never know who to trust. you can find someone you think you know in person and it turns out they are totally different as well, and honestly i would feel stupider for falling for that than on the internet where you don't know what is going on. but in the case of sites like eharmony.com, i really don't think people lie about themselves that much, since you have to pay to use the service. and the ones who do are the freak psycho serial killers. but they don't ask you things like "how much do you weigh?" and blah blah, they word it like "do you think that you are overweight?" and blah blah. the actual "how much do you weigh" part is when you are paired up with that person. so the actual site is not to blame, but the losers that find it important to lie.

[Derek The Infamous]

Sadly not even people who live close to you work out. Find someone in person..online s**** ****.

Go read my got something to let out post, I feel horrible right now.

[Will]

yeah, what will said.

not that i am incredibly desperate or anything, but i think it might be a good idea cuz people online don't know about all the drama surrounding me in elkton, md. (oh shit did i just say that...?...don't stalk me)
So you'd rather lie to someone in order to have a relationship? That sounds incredibly desperate, no offense.

Edit -
I just read the rest of your posts. You're against lying and all of that and yet you want to try an online relationship because they won't know about your "drama" which in turn would be you lying about your life and claiming there is no "drama."

I'm pretty sure my head's spinning right now. I'm not trying to stir anything up but come on. You're inconsistent.

[rosanna]

no i am not saying that i would lie about the drama, but i would not volunteer the info. the drama that i am talking about does not surround me, but includes me. basically because people opened their mouths, other people think i am something that i am not, and i do not want to live with people thinking that. i want a chance to start over, and i am saying that a relationship online would be easier than one in person right now.