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tkd_rap
02-12-2003, 03:58 PM
hey i wright alot of songs and share them with my friends for second opinions, see if they are any good. So far i have goten alot of positive feed back on them, well i was just wondering if i could post a song that i wrote on here, just without any one getting mad, dont want to break rules or nuthen B)

Alex
02-12-2003, 04:07 PM
no problems at all :)



note:
the lyrics - yes
upload large audio to this forum - no
link to audio on your own host - yes

Alias
02-12-2003, 07:53 PM
yeah that'd be cool, then my band epidermis ( http://www.epidermis.r8.org) could steal them and take over the world, my cuban cigar factorys profits have been declining. Need another illegal enterprise!

tkd_rap
02-12-2003, 08:45 PM
lol that was funny, any way, here it is, tell me what you think.

Fall Away

Stumbling down the deep stairs of your mind/ trying to find my way in the dark/ through a jungel of deceit and lies/ and foolish remarks/ I embark on a quest to find the real you/ knowing what i might uncover is more than i want to/ but i know i must continue/ i press on/ hoping to find what i belive to be gone/ a trace of good/ hidden withen/ but how to uncover it/ i can not tell/ for it hides behind this thick veil/ that you so cleverly biult up/ with your talent and facility/ for concealing your true self/ acting it seems come naturally/ but why do you wish to hide your true self from me/ what is it that you dont wont any one to see/ why cant you just tell me/ it's frustaiting seems like i am crawling/ making no progress/ i try to lend you help/ but your just stuck on your self/ you wont let me in/ no you wont/ not even your own close friend/

every thing you do is just so blurry/ it's getting hard to distinguish the truth from the lies/ your strange and new disguise/ that i see lurking/ buried/ behind your eyes/ fall away/ fall away/ everything is distorted with you/ i try to get close/ but you just/ fall away/ fall away/ just what can i do now/ with some one that has straid away/ fall away fall away/

So you have chosen/ for reason unknown/ to fight/ your iner demon alone/ as much as i wont to help/ i step aside/ and let you take care of your pride/ but from a distance/ i will call on the one that made the blind to see/ breathed life into to what was once dead/ for surely he can help you with whatever is going on in your head/ whatever you did cna be forgiven/ just tell him/ and he shall free you from your prison/ but yet you turn away/ going down your own path way/ with blinded vision/ your putting your self in the wrong position/ going to have a head on colistion/ with reality/ you will find that lifes brutality is best faced/ along side a friend/ to see you through to the end/ lift you up when your beaten down/ by yourself/ or other men/ try to understand what it is i am saying/ you need to get you through the trials your facing/ every one stumbels on there own sin/ which crumbels beneath there feet/ so find a good foundation/ for in him/ lies your salvation/

Every thing you do is just so blurry/ it's getting hard to distingish the truth from the lies/ your strange new diguise/ that i see lurking/ buried/ behind your eyes/ fall away/ fall away/ every thing is distorted with you/ i try to get close/ but you just/ fall away/ fall away/ just what can i do/ with some one who has straid away/ fall away/ fall away/

Your running now from me and from yourself/ icnoring how/ this sin is changing you/ it's like you just let it stay/ adapted to the life style it's making you live/ you fell away
____________________________
Well thats it, is it ok??? i have lots more, but thats alot to write, so i am not gonna post those for awile B)

Rybullet
02-12-2003, 08:56 PM
While we are doing that here's one of mine

It's still left/that one side of my soul/that's tryin' to hide/but it's takin it's toll/I try to break away/away from it all/tryin' so hard to not slip and fall/and when it comes to the end/I have to try an' mend

**Chorus**
And all the pain I hide/it keeps goin farther down inside/when I try to keep it down/it all comes back again/my only friend/it's the pain I feel inside/the pain I have to hide

I try to carry on/like nothin was ever wrong/the face I fight with to/show it's me I Iied to/I've tried end it all/to stop these many falls/and when it comes to the end/I have to try an' mend

I've tried to end it all/to avoid the falls

Rybullet
02-12-2003, 08:59 PM
Originally posted by Alias@Feb 12 2003, 08:53 PM
yeah that'd be cool, then my band epidermis ( http://www.epidermis.r8.org) could steal them and take over the world, my cuban cigar factorys profits have been declining. Need another illegal enterprise!
just to tell you that link doesn't work

Alias
02-14-2003, 05:05 PM
tkd rap its pretty good but you need to incorporate more imagery and speak in a less direct manner. it needs polishing but is quite good !

tkd_rap
02-16-2003, 05:53 PM
Originally posted by Alias@Feb 14 2003, 06:05 PM
tkd rap its pretty good but you need to incorporate more imagery and speak in a less direct manner. it needs polishing but is quite good !
thank you, but really how do you mean, to direct, is this bad? it is about some thing in my life, more posicicly my gf, but how do you supose i go about editing it?

Rybullet
03-04-2003, 10:43 PM
Originally posted by tkd_rap+Feb 16 2003, 06:53 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (tkd_rap @ Feb 16 2003, 06:53 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Alias@Feb 14 2003, 06:05 PM
tkd rap its pretty good but you need to incorporate more imagery and speak in a less direct manner. it needs polishing but is quite good &#33;
thank you, but really how do you mean, to direct, is this bad? it is about some thing in my life, more posicicly my gf, but how do you supose i go about editing it? [/b][/quote]
what I think they mean is that you should kinda his the meaning of the song, making it more mysterious...........