Lost [From the Inside]

[[Brkng Th H@bt]]

I recently wrote this one. Tell me what you think of it.

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Song Title: Lost [From the Inside]
Artist: [Brkng Th H@bt]

I'm tired of having to feel this way
The same thoughts, the same pains everyday.
Will it stop? Will it not? Will it stay the same?
Will it change who I am? Does it decide if I'm sane?
I don't know, I can't tell, I'm just so lost
I can't see anything, within this deep frost
Of excruciating depression coming from the inside
Right before my eyes, coming right from the lies.
Numbness approaches, every minute it's there
Turning what's fine into what is not fair
It's like a change of heart, it's what makes things fall apart
Turning what is easy into everything that is hard
Blinded by the darkness, as if it was light
I know now that I'll never be alright
Sudden change, rearranged, made from all the lies
Confusing what is real, all from the inside.

I've become so lost
[Everything's unfair]
I can't open my eyes
[It's like I'm not even there]
Everything has changed
[And it's falling apart]
All from the inside
[With a sudden change of heart]

I sit in a chair, and I stare at the wall
Thinking about those times that it was me who would fall
I stare at the glass as the time passes
I've wasted all this time trying to get past this
Stuck in place, with no where to turn
I guess I'll never know, but I know I'll never learn
Yesterday's tomorrow, all the days are the same
Now there are no games, there's nothing to claim
I think of the times I fought with you
It was something I never wanted to do
Still, I remain the same, with the same pains
No one can tell, if I'm fine or insane.
I think of the times you lied to me
How you misplaced everything consciously
I know all this builds up from all the lies
Confusing what is real, all from the inside

Chorus

And now I'm lost inside these thoughts of you
From the inside it's what I wanted to do
You threw everything at me, including all your lies
Little did I know it was from the inside (2x*)

Chorus (2x)

I've become so lost.
[Confusing what is real, all from the inside] (2x)

*1st time you whisper, second time you say it out loud. Second time, scream the last letter of each phrase

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So, what do you think of it? Opinions? Suggestions?

EDIT: Fixed the apostrophe problem ;)

[Jamie]

Thats not bad that...I like it..

[ass_kicker]

Originally posted by .Broken Fist@Jul 1 2004, 05:36 PM
Thats not bad that...I like it..
to broken fist: your sig makes my eyes spin for some reason... :mellow: :lol:

i like it, except change the little signs you put in instead of swearwords to sings of one kind... what i mean by this is:
this ######## instead of this !@#$%^
the second one makes the poem harder to read. for me, at least.

[The Doctor]

Originally posted by ass_kicker+Jul 1 2004, 04:00 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (ass_kicker @ Jul 1 2004, 04:00 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--.Broken Fist@Jul 1 2004, 05:36 PM
Thats not bad that...I like it..
to broken fist: your sig makes my eyes spin for some reason... :mellow: :lol:

i like it, except change the little signs you put in instead of swearwords to sings of one kind... what i mean by this is:
this ######## instead of this !@#$%^
the second one makes the poem harder to read. for me, at least. [/b][/quote]
Its not censoring...thats just something wrong with the quotation marks.

[[Brkng Th H@bt]]

Yeah, I didn't put any swear words. I don't know why it's doing that.

[The Doctor]

Originally posted by [Brkng Th H@bt]@Jul 2 2004, 08:30 AM
Yeah, I didn't put any swear words. I don't know why it's doing that.
I fixed it for you.

[ilovesarah]

not dissing ur stuff at all......but i feel like the chorus is written to Numb....(the chorus)

[The Doctor]

Originally posted by ilovesarah@Aug 11 2004, 12:30 AM
not dissing ur stuff at all......but i feel like the chorus is written to Numb....(the chorus)
Wow. Dont post in old threads like this.