View Full Version : Advice Thread..
I thought that there was an advice thread already.. I guess not. I couldn't find one.
Uhm.. well. How about either give a problem and be open to various veiws on things, or give advice.
Since I made the thread.. I'll give my problem. Here's how it goes.
Tonight i was supposed to go to the Movies with Jen, Mike & Bryce. I also had a friend who i kept cancelling on for the past month, her name is Katie. So I invited her to come and then sleep over afterwards. Well. Byce cancelled, then I told Jen that Katie would be coming. Well, shes [Jen] rude and selfish so she was being b*tchy about it (Note: No exaggeration). So she then called me up and says, "Let me f**king guess, and I bet I'm 99% right on this one. You asked Katie to go before asking me?" I was like "Yes." She's like "F**k yo-" And she hung up. Whats so wrong about that? I told everyone to invite whoever we want. Then she called back crying and just told me a bunch of sh*t i didn't need to hear so i hung up on her. Jen was and sort of is my best friend. Shes extremely rude and mean, which she thinks is funny. Like sometimes she calls people midgets to their face for being shorter than her. She says it seriously and the person will get all mad, and I completely understand why. I then tell Jen she should stop doing that and she gets all mad. For the past month I haven't hung out with her much because of school projects, besides the fact that I don't want to be around her. She gets really mad about the smallest things and is rude; as stated before. Well anyways. Shes not going to the movie, neither is Katie, Bryce, Mike or I. Katie is going to sleep over my house tonight. I don't want to be Jen's friend anymore even though shes moving to Florida in 2 weeks(I live in MA). Sometimes, I even wish i didn't know her. She gets me and everyone extremely mad. She annoys the hell out of me, whatever hell I have left anyways..
Not sure what kind of advice I'm looking for.. maybe someone to agree or dissagree with some of what I've said ^^.. Not sure. I just think that what I did was right and she had no reason to get mad. . .
Whimsicality
06-05-2004, 06:03 PM
I know it kind of sucks to hear, but sometimes you just need to distance yourself from supposed "friends."
But you said she's moving in two weeks, so the way I see that's a nice easy way to grow apart with out too many hurt feelings.
Thats what I thought. But I can't take it anymore. I've been fed up for over 3 months now!
TheSunIsShining
06-05-2004, 07:01 PM
tell her how you feel, its the only way, even if it hurts.
mind you...i have a bad temper...so that probably isnt as hard for me :P
Eilonwy
06-05-2004, 07:02 PM
This person reminds me of a friend of mine. Lately she's been bugging the heck out of me. Thank goodness school's almost over. Like twicethetrouble said, you might need some distance. Have you told her how you feel? That might help a bit. Hope everything works out! :)
The only advice I can give you...is that taking advice from people on the internet only makes things worse.
Mr. Benzedrine
06-05-2004, 07:42 PM
Originally posted by Neil@Jun 5 2004, 07:34 PM
The only advice I can give you...is that taking advice from people on the internet only makes things worse.
:mellow: .............. :o .............. :lol:
Whimsicality
06-05-2004, 08:45 PM
Originally posted by Neil@Jun 5 2004, 03:34 PM
The only advice I can give you...is that taking advice from people on the internet only makes things worse.
:mellow:
:o
:unsure:
:'(
Always?
Anthony.
06-05-2004, 08:46 PM
Originally posted by Neil@Jun 5 2004, 03:34 PM
The only advice I can give you...is that taking advice from people on the internet only makes things worse.
It's true people can say whatever they want on the Internet :lol: .
However, there's some people who know what they're talking about, but how can you tell? That's the problem.
interesting points of veiw.. And Neil, you're right...
LPNeSSRGB
06-05-2004, 08:57 PM
Sam, I'm going through something VERY similar to your situation right now. And believe me, I know how hard it can be. Often they make you feel like you've done something wrong when you definitely haven't. If they're going to be like that, then distancing yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself. If they're unwilling to listen, or admit when they're wrong then it's damn well near impossible to make them see otherwise. Believe me, I know from experience.
Originally posted by LPNeSSRGB@Jun 5 2004, 03:57 PM
Sam, I'm going through something VERY similar to your situation right now. And believe me, I know how hard it can be. Often they make you feel like you've done something wrong when you definitely haven't. If they're going to be like that, then distancing yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself. If they're unwilling to listen, or admit when they're wrong then it's damn well near impossible to make them see otherwise. Believe me, I know from experience.
Its so.. so.. annoying.. Thats not the word I'm looking for but.. close to
Cassie
06-05-2004, 09:32 PM
Originally posted by LPNeSSRGB@Jun 5 2004, 03:57 PM
Sam, I'm going through something VERY similar to your situation right now. And believe me, I know how hard it can be. Often they make you feel like you've done something wrong when you definitely haven't. If they're going to be like that, then distancing yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself. If they're unwilling to listen, or admit when they're wrong then it's damn well near impossible to make them see otherwise. Believe me, I know from experience.
*curtsies* :lol: Aah, that never ceases to amuse me.
Trust Nessy with this one Sam, she took the words right out of my head. She's very wise that Lock Nessy. :P
Well my parents have promised me they would listen to me more. I've made it quite clear that my voice was never heard when it came to me needing somthing of imortance. I'm not talking about me wanting a toy and them having to agree and allow me to have it no matter what or anything.. all i'm asking is for them to stop treating me like i'm a three-year-old. I definently feel like they treat me like one. Like one time my Dad was talking to my older brother Drew.. he's about to tell him somthing but then he stops and says "No wait nevermind I'll tell you later. Anya's in the room, she's too young to hear it." I absolutley hate that. I'm fifteen and next year when I go off to highschool i'm going to have to see a video tape of a mother giving child birth (I'm not looking forward to that either but oh well that's not my point..) I'm sure that whatever he says, i'm old enough to hear. Even my brother agrees with me, he doesn't treat me like my age. Also- another thing I guess I should add. My Dad forbid me one time to see this PG-13 movie called 'Dirty Work' because of a scene in there that I was supposedly too young to see. My brother rolled his eyes and slipped me the video tape to me when my Dad wasn't looking and I watched it later that night. The thing he 'didn't allow me to see' was two dogs humping eachother.
I'm tired of his #### and he allways gets angry at me when I try to speak my mind, but he never listens. I'm fifteen for gods sakes, two dogs humping is apart of human ####### nature. It's not like I haven't seen them do that in Scary Movie Three. I've seen people make that same joke in sevral movies. Also last night my Dad yelled at me for staying up late to watch a movie. Number one, there was nothing for me to do tommorrow so I figured i'd sleep in and enjoy a movie. What's wrong with that? I watched it until three in the morning and my own Mom agrees with me that it's not bad if I do that once in a while as long as I do it in a responsible way (and I do do that by the way). But to him, he thinks i'm too young to do that. It's the god damn summer for gods sake, why can't I? I need some serious help because nothing I do is working and i'm tired of it. If any of you could help me i'd appreciate it..
Originally posted by Neil@Jun 5 2004, 02:34 PM
The only advice I can give you...is that taking advice from people on the internet only makes things worse.
Wow. Let's not try to be helpful or anything.
the best advice is to do whatever your heart says. But don't ignore your mind too :P
Glenn
06-05-2004, 11:19 PM
Maybe if you're dad won't listen to you, ask your mom to talk to him, if she agrees with you.
Originally posted by Glenn@Jun 5 2004, 06:19 PM
Maybe if you're dad won't listen to you, ask your mom to talk to him, if she agrees with you.
Well she only agreed on one thing.. the rest she agrees with him on that's the problem.
Glenn
06-06-2004, 12:05 AM
What about your brother. Would they listen to him if he told them about your problem.
Originally posted by Avenger+Jun 5 2004, 03:46 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Avenger @ Jun 5 2004, 03:46 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Neil@Jun 5 2004, 03:34 PM
The only advice I can give you...is that taking advice from people on the internet only makes things worse.
It's true people can say whatever they want on the Internet :lol: .
However, there's some people who know what they're talking about, but how can you tell? That's the problem. [/b][/quote]
Exactly!
Instead of assuming that everyone here is going to give bad advice, how about you keep comments like that to yourself, huh? I think that sounds like a great idea to me. If you were someone who needed advice, I don't think you'd like seeing someone reply with "getting advice from people on the internet is stupid."
Keep it to yourself.
Originally posted by Glenn@Jun 5 2004, 07:05 PM
What about your brother. Would they listen to him if he told them about your problem.
I doubt it, they don't listen to him either and he's nineteen. *sighs* :unsure:
Whimsicality
06-06-2004, 12:48 AM
That sucks Anya.
Talking obviously hasn't worked, so try this: write a letter. Wait until you know they're both in relativly good moods and have plenty of time to read it. Hand them each a copy, and walk away, lock yourself in your room, go to a friends house, whatever.
I'll help you with the letter if you want--you can email (pointgiven202@aol.com) or IM me (Shatterday337, AIM).
Originally posted by twicethetrouble@Jun 5 2004, 07:48 PM
That sucks Anya.
Talking obviously hasn't worked, so try this: write a letter. Wait until you know they're both in relativly good moods and have plenty of time to read it. Hand them each a copy, and walk away, lock yourself in your room, go to a friends house, whatever.
I'll help you with the letter if you want--you can email (pointgiven202@aol.com) or IM me (Shatterday337, AIM).
That's a great idea! Wow, very smart, I like it. But no I don't need help with it I have an idea of what to write but thanks i'll try that. ;)
Glenn
06-06-2004, 01:14 AM
yeah, that's a good idea. Successful and genious plan. :P
Originally posted by Will@Jun 5 2004, 07:30 PM
Instead of assuming that everyone here is going to give bad advice, how about you keep comments like that to yourself, huh? I think that sounds like a great idea to me. If you were someone who needed advice, I don't think you'd like seeing someone reply with "getting advice from people on the internet is stupid."
Keep it to yourself.
:mellow:
So now my opinion no longer counts. I was merely exercising the point of the other side. I sure know that if I needed advice, I wouldn't ask people I have never met....
ass_kicker
06-08-2004, 05:55 PM
Originally posted by Neil+Jun 6 2004, 03:51 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Neil @ Jun 6 2004, 03:51 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Will@Jun 5 2004, 07:30 PM
Instead of assuming that everyone here is going to give bad advice, how about you keep comments like that to yourself, huh? I think that sounds like a great idea to me. If you were someone who needed advice, I don't think you'd like seeing someone reply with "getting advice from people on the internet is stupid."
Keep it to yourself.
:mellow:
So now my opinion no longer counts. I was merely exercising the point of the other side. I sure know that if I needed advice, I wouldn't ask people I have never met.... [/b][/quote]
i wouldnt trust people i have never ever dealt with, but i would ask for advice from you guys. i mean... if i want to help somebody, you want to help somebody as well, i guess. ok that was confusing. after all, we all listen to the same kind of music. so we must think similarly in some sort of way.
i think i agree with will. yes, will, i actually agree with you. maybe it wasnt the best thing to say... but arent the forums all about saying what you really think?
Glenn
06-10-2004, 01:22 AM
I think it would be much easier to ask you guys for advice then my friends.
Leones
06-10-2004, 07:44 AM
Originally posted by Glenn@Jun 10 2004, 01:22 AM
I think it would be much easier to ask you guys for advice then my friends.
I agree. I barely ask something to my friends home, because i know they wouldn't listen or they would give me useless advice. Here people are more the same and you can ask and talk about serious things. If people don't know what to say or don't want to respond, then they don't and no one ever knows. I mean, if someone has to say something wich is worth to post (and would probably be usefull) then they would write it down.
Asking for advice can be good to do on the internet, but not all advice is good advice, I have to say that though.
ass_kicker
06-10-2004, 10:43 AM
Originally posted by Glenn@Jun 10 2004, 01:22 AM
I think it would be much easier to ask you guys for advice then my friends.
i agree with glenn as well. basically because you guys can probably understand me better than some of my friends. or even if the problem is embarrassing or whatever, you can risk posting it, because the people here dont go to the same school. so it wont ever be all over school the next day.
In dire need of advice:
My boyfriend of nearly six months, "Mark", introduced me to his friend "Elizabeth". Elizabeth and I are now good friends, and she's often with us when we decide to do something as a large group. I trust Mark completely and have no qualms about him hanging out with other girls when I'm not there. But I recently found out that Elizabeth wants to be more than Mark's friend. He plays a certain RPG that I never really got into, and she's having him teach her how to play in hopes that she can get closer to him. Elizabeth seems to think that he and I are not happy together and will break up before long (presumably when I leave for college), leaving her free to chase him openly. This is not speculative, I heard all this from Elizabeth's sister, who heard it straight from Elizabeth herself. The thing is, Mark and I are perfectly happy with each other and our relationship, and will stay together even when I leave for college in the fall. Is there any possible way that I can discourage her from chasing him without betraying the fact that her sister told me?
RememberingNever
06-18-2004, 11:00 PM
Maybe you should confront the girl. Tell her you've been noticing how close she's been getting to him. And, if you and this girl are good friends, you can maybe ask her if she feels attracted to your boyfriend. ...Tell her how much you love your boyfriend and that you don't want anything to happen to your relationship.
You can even confront your boyfriend about this. Tell him how you feel.
(I'm not the best advice giver.. so sorry if what I said sounds stupid.. lol :blush: )
Tell your boyfriend what you heard and ask him what you both should do. He'll need to tell this other girl that he's not interested and to back off.
Whimsicality
06-19-2004, 04:08 PM
Originally posted by Amy@Jun 18 2004, 09:31 PM
Tell your boyfriend what you heard and ask him what you both should do. He'll need to tell this other girl that he's not interested and to back off.
What she said.
TheSunIsShining
06-19-2004, 07:04 PM
just think about what you say....the amout of thimes i have ###### up this sorta thing
emmmers
06-20-2004, 06:44 PM
Okay my parents are bugging me to go to church, but ever since I moved to California, I've really given up on Christianity. A few years ago I went to a really cheap church that didn't even have its own building, but everything was fine. It was a tiny church and everyone got to know each other real well. On the other hand, I moved to Cali two years ago and went to a few churches here once or twice. They were all huge, professional, well-funded churches where no one seemed to care or want to get to know new people.
So I havent been going to church for years, and I've come to realize that the whole Christianity/Bible thing is shitty propaganda. My parents haven't bothered me about church during the school year because I was busy as hell on the weekends. But now that's its summer, they really want me to go again. So today being Fathers Day, they begged for me to go along with them, but I refused and could tell my dad was dissapointed. I really don't want to hurt their feelings by telling them that I'm not Christian, because they're actually really awesome parents. So should I tell them that I don't believe in God or just play along and go anyways?
ass_kicker
06-20-2004, 06:56 PM
i think you should tell them how you really feel about religion. theres no point in hiding it, it will only become more complicated later. besides, they are your parents, they are the people who should accept you the way you are. if you act fake in front of them, you'll really feel confused about your personality.
Scarlet
06-20-2004, 07:19 PM
^ Yeah, explain to them why you don't believe in God. (Make sure you have a good reason.) Maybe they'll give you advice or help you to believe that there is a God.
Glenn
06-20-2004, 08:08 PM
Just tell them what you believe. They should listen to you. :)
Yeah, tell them and everything, just make sure you don't say something that is going to offend them or something.
Whimsicality
06-21-2004, 03:07 PM
Originally posted by Amy@Jun 21 2004, 06:59 AM
Yeah, tell them and everything, just make sure you don't say something that is going to offend them or something.
Yeah. You might want to sugarcoat things a little, but be honest. It sucks that it hurts their feelings, but you don't need to be exactly how they want you.
smallizkool
06-21-2004, 05:13 PM
you should tell them how you feel. it's no good to stick at somthing if you realy dont belive it.
talk to them calmly and rashionly, say somthing like i dont want to hurt you, but.....
give some good reseons why,
emmmers
06-21-2004, 07:15 PM
Originally posted by smallizkool@Jun 21 2004, 09:13 AM
say somthing like i dont want to hurt you, but.....
Somehow I can't really imagine myself saying that....but thanks for the suggestions guys I'll try it. They seemed to have gotten over it, even though I havent done anything yet. It might pop up again this Sunday so thanks.
TheSunIsShining
06-22-2004, 04:05 PM
ok, ive just had a huge row with my best friend, ive been feeling trapped for ages, felt useless, so i said i wanted us to go our seperate ways. she still kept clinging onto me, telling me lies to try and keep hold of me but i just went ahead and left, and it doesnt look like ill be able to go back, even if i wanted too.
im not that bothered about not meeting her anymore or not having someone to talk to, because we werent getting on like we used too, never talked about deep stuff before, which was why we were best friends in the first place, and we live 100 miles away from each other anyway.
but theres still something saying in the back of my mind..have i done the right thing? i just need to hear(or see) someone tell me that ive done the right thing because im sick of being in the wrong with her all the time, which is all i ever am, because it was never right.
Cassie
06-22-2004, 04:10 PM
Time will tell.
I've been in a situation much like yours. My gf was somewhat depressive and it had a negative influence on me. I decided it was best for the girl and I to part. I know now I made the right choice. And I'm sure you have as well. Just stick to your decision and everything will be fine. :)
TheSunIsShining
06-22-2004, 04:13 PM
thanks a lot, its good to know there are people in similar situations as me.
well, not that good, but its good to know you arent alone :)
Cassie
06-22-2004, 04:19 PM
lol, I know whatcha mean. It helps you feel a little less alone.
Good luck. :D
TheSunIsShining
06-22-2004, 07:44 PM
thanks, her boyfriends just messaged me now and he said shes saying "oh we'll be friends once she calms down". all i said was "hahahaha" and blocked him. ^_^ im not turning back
The Doctor
06-23-2004, 04:01 AM
I have a question....
My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 4 months now, and all weve done is made out. Now I want to go a little further with our relationship, but shes never done anything (I was her first kiss) and I dont know how to present the idea to her. I dont want to scare her but I need help and I dont know what to do/say. Any ideas?
ass_kicker
06-23-2004, 04:27 PM
i can help you by saying what id want my boyfriend to say... if i had one obviously. its different with kissing because you dont have to ask for permission. i reckon once you get to heavy making out, you should like... i dunno start getting really close (if you know what i mean). then you should just pull away and ask her. how far does she want to go? does she feel ok with doing whatever you wanna do with her? if she says yes, then its great. if she says anything else, just get back to the making out. dont pressure her. next time you can ask her again. if it doesnt work, just say 'ill let you get back to me with that one', meaning that let her ask whenever she's ready.
Cassie
06-23-2004, 05:11 PM
Originally posted by Nate@Jun 22 2004, 11:01 PM
I have a question....
My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 4 months now, and all weve done is made out. Now I want to go a little further with our relationship, but shes never done anything (I was her first kiss) and I dont know how to present the idea to her. I dont want to scare her but I need help and I dont know what to do/say. Any ideas?
The transition into going further might be scary for her, and could bring some awkwardness into that part of your relationship.
I find when I give advice it helps to use an experience of my own. Neil and I never went further than making out for 5 months. The touching and everything else came gradually afterwards. We did talk some of it through. Neil was concerned with if I was comfortable enough with him to take this step. Communicating with this girl is huge. You have to let her know how you feel and you need to give her time to let her come to a decision. Don't try to rush her or put her on the spot. It takes time, wait until she's ready. It will be beneficial for the both of you.
Choose a time to bring the topic up. Inbetween making out, or just a casual conversation. Make sure she's comfortable and the two of you are alone. Don't expect an answer right away. If she's ready to go further, she'll know when she's ready.
I'm not sure if anything could help you out. I hope it will, and good luck. :D This girl is very lucky to have such a caring guy like you Nate. :)
The Doctor
06-23-2004, 05:13 PM
Originally posted by Cassie+Jun 23 2004, 01:11 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Cassie @ Jun 23 2004, 01:11 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Nate@Jun 22 2004, 11:01 PM
I have a question....
My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 4 months now, and all weve done is made out. Now I want to go a little further with our relationship, but shes never done anything (I was her first kiss) and I dont know how to present the idea to her. I dont want to scare her but I need help and I dont know what to do/say. Any ideas?
The transition into going further might be scary for her, and could bring some awkwardness into that part of your relationship.
I find when I give advice it helps to use an experience of my own. Neil and I never went further than making out for 5 months. The touching and everything else came gradually afterwards. We did talk some of it through. Neil was concerned with if I was comfortable enough with him to take this step. Communicating with this girl is huge. You have to let her know how you feel and you need to give her time to let her come to a decision. Don't try to rush her or put her on the spot. It takes time, wait until she's ready. It will be beneficial for the both of you.
Choose a time to bring the topic up. Inbetween making out, or just a casual conversation. Make sure she's comfortable and the two of you are alone. Don't expect an answer right away. If she's ready to go further, she'll know when she's ready.
I'm not sure if anything could help you out. I hope it will, and good luck. :D This girl is very lucky to have such a caring guy like you Nate. :) [/b][/quote]
Thanks, and thats a really good idea too. I just dont want her to get creeped out cause shes never done any of that stuff before.
Cassie
06-23-2004, 05:15 PM
Originally posted by Nate+Jun 23 2004, 12:13 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Nate @ Jun 23 2004, 12:13 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>
Originally posted by -Cassie@Jun 23 2004, 01:11 PM
<!--QuoteBegin--Nate@Jun 22 2004, 11:01 PM
I have a question....
My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 4 months now, and all weve done is made out.* Now I want to go a little further with our relationship, but shes never done anything (I was her first kiss) and I dont know how to present the idea to her.* I dont want to scare her but I need help and I dont know what to do/say.* Any ideas?
The transition into going further might be scary for her, and could bring some awkwardness into that part of your relationship.
I find when I give advice it helps to use an experience of my own. Neil and I never went further than making out for 5 months. The touching and everything else came gradually afterwards. We did talk some of it through. Neil was concerned with if I was comfortable enough with him to take this step. Communicating with this girl is huge. You have to let her know how you feel and you need to give her time to let her come to a decision. Don't try to rush her or put her on the spot. It takes time, wait until she's ready. It will be beneficial for the both of you.
Choose a time to bring the topic up. Inbetween making out, or just a casual conversation. Make sure she's comfortable and the two of you are alone. Don't expect an answer right away. If she's ready to go further, she'll know when she's ready.
I'm not sure if anything could help you out. I hope it will, and good luck. :D This girl is very lucky to have such a caring guy like you Nate. :)
Thanks, and thats a really good idea too. I just dont want her to get creeped out cause shes never done any of that stuff before. [/b][/quote]
It's awkward that's for sure. But it seems as though you're willing to make it work so good for you. :D
Cassie
06-23-2004, 06:32 PM
I apologize for double-posting but I could use a little advice myself.
I'm afraid I've been beginning a few bad eating habits lately. I skip breakfast and lunch (the occasional time). I'm 15 and I weigh 118 lbs. I'm unsure of my weight and I refuse to gain anymore. I actually see myself skipping meals in order to drop a few pounds. The nights my mother works, I don't eat all day. But when she is at home, I'm forced to eat because she makes me supper. When I binge or eat too much in one sitting, I attempt to purge myself. I haven't suceeded... yet.
Neil's noticed my eating habits and he's a little worried. He urges me to eat but I'm afraid. I'm also frightened if I continue this could be the start of something much more serious. An eating disorder, possibly.
When I do eat during the day, it's only because I have cravings for certain foods. If I cannot prepare myself or find the certain food. I forget it and food all together.
Side view (http://www.uploadimages.net/images/154327DCP06619.JPG)
Front view (http://www.uploadimages.net/images/665027DCP06615.JPG)
I took this pictures this morning. Unfortunately, I feel I'm a little fat for my age.
I feel so lost... :(
Fat? Cassie, you look fine. Don't let the whole "OMG I GAINED A POUND I'M FAT" thing get to you. Every girl goes through that (or so I've heard) but it's really no big deal. You look fine to me. Just eat normal meals and excercise and all that and you'll be fine. No need to binge and purge.
The Doctor
06-23-2004, 06:37 PM
You are in no way fat. If anything youre pretty skinny, too! Dont worry about it so much.
Yeah, don't skip meals, just eat healthier foods. And exercise.
Cassie
06-23-2004, 06:47 PM
I don't know if I can, I don't know, I...
:'(
Everything's so messed up right now.
Maëlle
06-23-2004, 07:50 PM
Originally posted by Cassie@Jun 23 2004, 02:47 PM
I don't know if I can, I don't know, I...
:'(
Everything's so messed up right now.
:hugz:
Cassie, you look perfectly fine the way you are and Neil loves you that way! You don't need to loose weight; just eat healthier and don't skip meals.
If you wanna talk, I'm there, Okay?
I'm going through the exact same thing as you, Cassie. I don't eat much, I only eat at night usually. Sometimes I do eat a bit during the day but when I do that, it makes me feel really bad... even guilty kind of... and I don't eat at all the next day. I'm 15 and I weigh 108 lbs (I think). I think I'm gaining more weight all the time and people tell me I'm not but I don't believe them. I've even had a doctor tell me I'm good the way I am (I had to go for a checkup thingy and my mum told the doctor to tell me I wasn't overweight) but I still feel like I'm gaining heaps.
If you ever want to talk about it I'm here. :)
Cassie
06-24-2004, 03:45 AM
Originally posted by Amy@Jun 23 2004, 06:31 PM
I'm going through the exact same thing as you, Cassie. I don't eat much, I only eat at night usually. Sometimes I do eat a bit during the day but when I do that, it makes me feel really bad... even guilty kind of... and I don't eat at all the next day. I'm 15 and I weigh 108 lbs (I think). I think I'm gaining more weight all the time and people tell me I'm not but I don't believe them. I've even had a doctor tell me I'm good the way I am (I had to go for a checkup thingy and my mum told the doctor to tell me I wasn't overweight) but I still feel like I'm gaining heaps.
If you ever want to talk about it I'm here. :)
Wow, that would be great. :D Thank you so much.
After reading all the advice I received, I listened to Gurdeep (Hybrid_Soldier) and signed off to find a less stressful activity. I ended up watching "A Walk to Remember" and eating. I was craving a bagel with some deli meat, tomato and cheddar cheese. I ended up eating supper as well. I felt a little guilty afterwards about having both gravy AND ketchup on my french fries but I'll let it go. Thanks for the help guys. And I intend to talk to all those who offered to. :)
Whimsicality
06-24-2004, 09:04 PM
Originally posted by Cassie+Jun 23 2004, 11:45 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Cassie @ Jun 23 2004, 11:45 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Amy@Jun 23 2004, 06:31 PM
I'm going through the exact same thing as you, Cassie. I don't eat much, I only eat at night usually. Sometimes I do eat a bit during the day but when I do that, it makes me feel really bad... even guilty kind of... and I don't eat at all the next day. I'm 15 and I weigh 108 lbs (I think). I think I'm gaining more weight all the time and people tell me I'm not but I don't believe them. I've even had a doctor tell me I'm good the way I am (I had to go for a checkup thingy and my mum told the doctor to tell me I wasn't overweight) but I still feel like I'm gaining heaps.
If you ever want to talk about it I'm here. :)
Wow, that would be great. :D Thank you so much.
After reading all the advice I received, I listened to Gurdeep (Hybrid_Soldier) and signed off to find a less stressful activity. I ended up watching "A Walk to Remember" and eating. I was craving a bagel with some deli meat, tomato and cheddar cheese. I ended up eating supper as well. I felt a little guilty afterwards about having both gravy AND ketchup on my french fries but I'll let it go. Thanks for the help guys. And I intend to talk to all those who offered to. :) [/b][/quote]
Good! You aren't fat AT ALL Cassie. If you want any comparison, I'm 14 and weigh about 125 pounds, and I consider myself normal, thankyouverymuch.
Alacrity
06-25-2004, 02:34 AM
Cassie I have no idea what you're worried about! You're beautiful and in no way fat. Even if you do feel that way, it's only how you're percieving yourself. If you really want to change the way you look first you have to change the way you view yourself. Know that you're beautiful and have confidence in that, then change what you think needs to be done in a sensible and healthy way, but believe me when I say there is absolutely nothing wrong with your weight. If you're that worried, just eat healthier and excersise a bit. Ask Neil to take a run with you around town or around the block, and you'll feel alot better, especially with someone with you to help you through it.
I hope I helped :)
Cassie
06-25-2004, 09:50 PM
twicethetrouble - I often compare myself to my best gf, Lucy. She's 5 feet and 100 or so pounds. I'm 5'1" and 118 pounds. And I have a much skinnier stomach than her. I have an awfully low self-esteem. :wth: Since I posted, the support I've gained has helped me quite abit. I feel much more confident with eating breakfast, lunch and supper. :D
Alacrity - My perception of myself has always been a little low since I became depressed. But your encouragement is extremely positive and helpful. Thanks so much for your concern for wittle ol' me. :hugz:
Canadian Joe
06-25-2004, 10:32 PM
* knock knock again *
Ok, time for me to make my post in here... Been having a bit of relationship trouble lately...might as well say "my whole life" instead of "lately"...
So here's how it goes...I got dumped at the beginning of the month. Lynn didn't tell me exactly why, only that "it's a feeling I'm getting now". We're still friends. Peachy. But when she broke up with me, she said "I guess I'm not ready to date, for a long time now I guess. Sorry", and now, three weeks later, guess what? Yep, that's right, I've been replaced already... He's all she talks about now, even when I try to change the topic..."oh, Adam's so sweet, he said this, he said that, he did this, I'm going to see him tomorrow again, I'm so excited!".......... And all I can do is sit there and think "Durrr, screwed over again, I'll never find anybody who'll love me"......now, I'm going to the carnival with her tomorrow, so I guess this is the time to tell her what's going on in my head...only thing is, what to say without making me sound like an accusing little jackass? The part that's bugging me is that I'm no stranger to defeat when it comes to relationships...my longest has lasted 29 days (I think), and I've never, ever seen somebody again in a relationship setting after the first date. Period. It gets a little...discouraging...after a while. Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to do anything drastic, I'm just depressed. I know I'll probably pull out of it eventually, but for now, I'm really upset. Guess it doesn't help that one of my best friends is moving three thousand miles away in two weeks, all my exes are happy with other people (and can't STFU about them), and everybody calls me a loser (someone'll ask me "So, how's the girlfriend? Oh yeah, that's right, she dumped you. Haha, I told you nobody loves you!")................................................. ........
So where do I go from here?
Glenn
06-26-2004, 02:44 AM
first of all punch the guy, that told u that ####, in the face. :P No not really.
I guess you should tell her how you feel. If you have nothing to lose you should be open with her.
Anthony.
06-26-2004, 03:05 AM
Just kick those ####ers. I did nothing even if people fed me with bullshit all the time for a lot of years and had to knock someone for it to end. That may sound crude, but belive me that's sadly how it works.
As for the girl, dumping you is one thing, her talking to you about her new boyfriend is an other thing. If she tells you she doesn't like you anymore well you might as well tell her to go away.
That was my very peaceful advice. Don't get me wrong, I'm not violent at all, very peaceful usually, but there's a limit to some stuff, eh? Sorry for the "eh?" :lol: .
Smash: You just need to come out and tell her that it annoys you that she talks about Adam, and that you wish she would stop.
Anthony.
06-26-2004, 03:11 AM
Originally posted by Mark@Jun 25 2004, 11:08 PM
Smash: You just need to come out and tell her that it annoys you that she talks about Adam, and that you wish she would stop.
Is that kinda what I said, but in a diplomatic way :lol: ?
Originally posted by Avenger+Jun 26 2004, 12:41 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Avenger @ Jun 26 2004, 12:41 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Mark@Jun 25 2004, 11:08 PM
Smash: You just need to come out and tell her that it annoys you that she talks about Adam, and that you wish she would stop.
Is that kinda what I said, but in a diplomatic way :lol: ? [/b][/quote]
Yeah. With less ass-kicking. :lol:
Canadian Joe
06-26-2004, 07:33 AM
Originally posted by Mark+Jun 26 2004, 03:15 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Mark @ Jun 26 2004, 03:15 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>
Originally posted by -Avenger@Jun 26 2004, 12:41 AM
<!--QuoteBegin--Mark@Jun 25 2004, 11:08 PM
Smash: You just need to come out and tell her that it annoys you that she talks about Adam, and that you wish she would stop.
Is that kinda what I said, but in a diplomatic way :lol: ?
Yeah. With less ass-kicking. :lol: [/b][/quote]
** falls on floor laughing **
Hehehehehehehehe....! :lol:
Advice noted. Just gotta get it out in a way that won't make me sound mean...
Lynn's actions, however, are nowhere near as painful and emotionally distressing as Stephanie's actions were when she broke up with me. A day after she ended it with me, she phoned and asked me to "introduce me to your sexy brother, I have a huuuuuge crush on him". Just about shot her for that, and I still have a hard time talking to her now, cause I'm still so pissed off. I mean....what the hell?!?!?!?! Anybody else have something like this happen?
ass_kicker
06-26-2004, 10:21 AM
Originally posted by SmashPilot+Jun 26 2004, 07:33 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (SmashPilot @ Jun 26 2004, 07:33 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>
Originally posted by -Mark@Jun 26 2004, 03:15 AM
Originally posted by -Avenger@Jun 26 2004, 12:41 AM
<!--QuoteBegin--Mark@Jun 25 2004, 11:08 PM
Smash: You just need to come out and tell her that it annoys you that she talks about Adam, and that you wish she would stop.
Is that kinda what I said, but in a diplomatic way :lol: ?
Yeah. With less ass-kicking. :lol:
** falls on floor laughing **
Hehehehehehehehe....! :lol:
Advice noted. Just gotta get it out in a way that won't make me sound mean...
Lynn's actions, however, are nowhere near as painful and emotionally distressing as Stephanie's actions were when she broke up with me. A day after she ended it with me, she phoned and asked me to "introduce me to your sexy brother, I have a huuuuuge crush on him". Just about shot her for that, and I still have a hard time talking to her now, cause I'm still so pissed off. I mean....what the hell?!?!?!?! Anybody else have something like this happen? [/b][/quote]
you must have really good anger management skills mate.
and no, nothing like that happened to me and probably wont. unless my ex boyfriend is gay. which might be true actually.
Canadian Joe
07-12-2004, 04:45 PM
Whoo, searching actually helped me for once...
Revived the ol' advice thread...
Anyways, here I go again. Same girl I'm ranting about too...
Got an email from a friend who talks to Lynn regularly. It kinda went something like this (and this is actually a copy-paste directly from my email)...
Joe only said that cuz he hates me... but thats ok my new bf is way better than he'll ever be! And you can tell him I said that! my summer is great!!I love my boyfriend!! i hope your summer is great too!
This was a response to me telling Shawn (the guy who forwarded this trash...actually it's OK that I saw this, cause it does give me an idea of Lynn's true colors) that he was bugging her with incessant emails (a few a day about pointless aviation stuff, which she doesn't care about).
I guess she never thought that I'd ever, ever see how she talks about me behind my back, and that she'd always be riding along higher than me. Well Lynn, if you could somehow be reading this (she's not a member, but I think she knows about the site), lemme just say this: Revenge is going to be a *****.
She's done it this time, and now I don't really know who to trust. I talked to her yesterday, and there wasn't anything in her voice that would ever hint that she's being awful to me behind my back...she's a good actor though. But seeing something like this written about you behind your back just hurts a whole lot.
Advice? Suggestions? Support?
The LP Junkie
07-12-2004, 08:36 PM
This was a response to me telling Shawn (the guy who forwarded this trash...actually it's OK that I saw this, cause it does give me an idea of Lynn's true colors) that he was bugging her with incessant emails (a few a day about pointless aviation stuff, which she doesn't care about).
I guess she never thought that I'd ever, ever see how she talks about me behind my back, and that she'd always be riding along higher than me. Well Lynn, if you could somehow be reading this (she's not a member, but I think she knows about the site), lemme just say this: Revenge is going to be a *****.
She's done it this time, and now I don't really know who to trust. I talked to her yesterday, and there wasn't anything in her voice that would ever hint that she's being awful to me behind my back...she's a good actor though. But seeing something like this written about you behind your back just hurts a whole lot.
Advice? Suggestions? Support?
Ok i re-read the thread and your posts and i think that this whole melodramatic act of hers is just annoying, so i'd say ignore her. If she wants to do all this bitching and fake acting, then its her problem. From the sounds of it, it seems like she's pretty insecure over the whole breakup and is doing the drama just to cover the pain. My advice would be just take the whole backstabbing thing in your stride and be done with it...
You got my support, people like this really arent worth losing sleep over though!
Omar A
07-26-2004, 03:16 AM
Need advice here.
Theres this girl thath my best friend and I have been chilling with for the past 2 weeks. And he kinda started liking her but today she told us both that she really likes me. And now I kinda wanna ask her out but I know my friend would get hurt even though he told me that he doesn't care.
So what should I do?
Alacrity
07-26-2004, 03:22 AM
Originally posted by Omar A@Jul 25 2004, 11:16 PM
Need advice here.
Theres this girl thath my best friend and I have been chilling with for the past 2 weeks. And he kinda started liking her but today she told us both that she really likes me. And now I kinda wanna ask her out but I know my friend would get hurt even though he told me that he doesn't care.
So what should I do?
Double check with your friend that it's ok with him, and if he still says yes, ask the girl out. If he looks uncomfortable or seems it when you guys/if you guys go out, talk to him about it try to talk to him.
Hope I helped..
Omar A
07-26-2004, 03:24 AM
I'm talking to him right now on MSN and he confessed that he's mad.
ass_kicker
07-26-2004, 10:04 AM
Originally posted by Omar A@Jul 26 2004, 03:24 AM
I'm talking to him right now on MSN and he confessed that he's mad.
first of all, dont feel guilty. its not your fault he's not her type. you have the right to go out with her, she likes you, you like her, and thats fair enough.
i feel sorry for your friend... i say find out if she doesnt have any gril friends that uour friend might be interested in. im sure he'll forget about her soon.
hold on
Cassie
08-01-2004, 05:02 AM
Hi, it's me again.
*sighs* Where do I begin?
The forums are quite aware of my relationship with Neil. But now it seems there's an interjection. A close friend of mine confessed to me today that he has a kinda crush on me. I won't mention names.
I'm so distraught, I love this guy as a friend. He's sweet, he makes me laugh, but at the same time I can't help feeling a little attracted. I've been seeking advice from Nessa and I've come to the conclusion I'm seeing Neil's characteristics in my friend.
This is awful guys. I don't know who to blame... or what. So naturally I'm the best bet, right? I cut my right hip last night out of frustration.
Any words or thoughts would be dearly appreciated... thank you.
The Doctor
08-01-2004, 05:05 AM
Well just because this person likes you, doesnt have to affect anything between you and Neil. You love Neil, I know you do. You wouldnt do anything to hurt him. You just need to explain to this guy that youre deeply in love with Neil and thats all there can be.
Cassie
08-01-2004, 05:09 AM
This is so odd. My friend knows all too well about me and Neil... I wanna tell Neil everything. There's been tension between us on the phone lately, he doesn't see it, but I feel it hard. I'm so sick of trying to stow all of these sh*t away from the one person that really matters...
I wish I could tell him now... :'(
Maybe you can't help feeling a little attracted because Neil isn't there. As soon as he gets back for good, you will have him there again and you won't have anything to worry about. You might be feeling a little bit attracted to the guy because he is close and Neil is away and you just want someone close to care about you?
I don't think that made much sense but I hope you get the idea of what I am going on about. Just keep thinking about all the good things about you and Neil and the good things you do together :) .
Originally posted by Cassie@Aug 1 2004, 12:09 AM
This is so odd. My friend knows all too well about me and Neil... I wanna tell Neil everything. There's been tension between us on the phone lately, he doesn't see it, but I feel it hard. I'm so sick of trying to stow all of these sh*t away from the one person that really matters...
I wish I could tell him now... :'(
:hugz:
Neil is a sweet sweet guy. Maybe you should talk to him on the phone about it.. I'm sure he'll understand. Tell him that you feel tension between you two on the phone latley and it's been hurting you.. Tell him about your friend and how you still love Neil but you don't understand what's going on with all these feelings and that it might be because Neil isn't there at the moment.
I'm sure once Neil comes back you'll forget all about these feelings. Good luck Cassssiie. ^_^
0p3ning_th3_w0unds
08-22-2004, 09:50 PM
i am not happy with myself at all...i lay in bed at night and cut myself with a blade from a pencil sharpner...my mom is being totally unfair to me in terms of how i want to dress and look and my dad snaps at everything i do...what the hell is the problem here?
ass_kicker
08-23-2004, 01:39 PM
cass cass: :hugz: aww my baby. i feel sorry for you. i think that you should tell neil. even though theres tension between you guys, just tell him. you'll feel better, and he'll know whats going on. *hugs*
opening the wounds: well... i think that youre depressed. *pretends to be the expert* no, seriously. i think you should go and see a psychatrists. dont get therapy, but he can give you medicine. *hugs* ive been through this.
rosanna
08-23-2004, 09:54 PM
my parents are the same way to me, and i was the same way. but somewhere between getting drunk and suspended from school and getting put in a hospital because of my suicidal thoughts (and yes, they were thoughts, not actions) i realized that if my parents hate me that much, there is nothing i can do about it. there is no point trying. i am done with them, and as soon as i graduate (284 days!) i am leaving and i am never going to look back, and i will be the better person for it. i do not care enough about what they think of me anymore for it to make any difference to me now. it is too late. the damage is done and i have to find a way to survive.
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