Mixed Feelings

[Kate]

This is my first attempt at songwriting. Read, enjoy, review please.

Lying side by side, sprawled on the floor
I told you "I love you", yet you wanted more
Your lips on my neck, your hands on my skin
You're blind to the paradox we now live in

CHORUS
Stop what you're doing
It's going too far
I'm losing the dream and my wish from the start
Stop what you're doing
Don't touch me again
You can't have my body till you've accepted my heart

Hair tangled in fingers, eyes closed in the dark
All this arisen from one innocent spark
You kissed my lips and caught on fire
I've been burned and tormented by this desire

chorus

You can't have half
And not have the whole
You want my body
I want your soul
(repeat to end)

[Andrea]

That was excellent! I love how it flowed. 10/10. :)

[Hybrid_Bunny]

That was really good, especially for your first attempt! 10/10

[ch|e|s|t|er]

it's great! 10/10 but i dont like what it's about sorry but thats just me! ^_^

[Kate]

Thanks! Any suggestions for a better title would be much appreciated.

[ch|e|s|t|er]

hmmmmmm.........well is this song/poem about a personal experience, or no? if so u should make a title yourself-sry, and if not........message me b/c i have to think about it.! :rawk:

[Glenn]

nice poem! ^_^

[Trish]

That awesome! Reminds me of something I wrote once but that is way better! Well Done!! :D