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View Full Version : Untitled- just wrote it now.


Glenn
05-31-2004, 02:40 AM
When you go, I can feel the pain
When you go, I become insane
When you go, my world is dark
All I need is your love to spark
When you're here, you kill my oppression
You dry the tears and heal my depression
Take away all my sadness and woe
Your face makes my heart glow
Everyday my soul will yearn
To hear the front doorknob turn
Then my heart will jump when you come
And when you leave it will succumb
Until the day that we perish
I will embrace all the moments we cherish
When you die, I'll die too
Just to be in heaven with you.

Inkybro
05-31-2004, 03:15 AM
Pretty nice man, it's kinda... rhymy :D Not necessarily a BAD thing but I dunno u could try to vary it a bit. Otherwise great work.

Glenn
05-31-2004, 03:44 AM
Yeah I know what u mean. I write about the same stuff over and over again. Silly me.

Arhaz
05-31-2004, 08:28 PM
definitely love the rhyme!

Glenn
05-31-2004, 10:08 PM
Originally posted by freakolp@May 31 2004, 02:28 PM
definitely love the rhyme!
Thanks! :P