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The Modfather
05-31-2004, 02:32 AM
I noticed when going through my harddrive that I have a lot of songs with one verse written and not more so I'm posting the bits and pieces of the songs I have so that you guys can pick the ones you like and think I should spend my time completing and improving on. All titles are working titles.

Fool
You made me look like such a fool,
Objections I made were overruled,
I'm searching for a place in time,
When things you said weren't out of line,
Persuaded deep inside to #### you up,
Aggravated by how you pressed your luck,
Next time you've got something to say,
Why dont you come up and say it in my face...

Giving It Up
I would have given you the sky,
And all the stars that line it's face,
Give you all the things that you cant buy,
Give it all away for just one taste,
But I'm left with things to figure out,
I get trapped within a world of doubt,
I hate how I run into these walls,
As a silent voice within me calls..

Letters From Afar
My love,
I dont know if they understand what it's like to be alone,
Flown out my country just to be so far away from home,
The heat is overwhelming and the sweat is bleeding down my eyes,
I cant remember how many of my friends have lost thier lives,
Not sure what we're fighting for, but its best not to disagree,
I'd fight to the death just so you could hear again from me,
I'd do anything to be able to hear your voice upon the phone,
If only they could understand much much it hurts to be alone.

(Pre-Chorus)
I cant wait another minute,
Come by my side and set me free,
Cant wait another minute,
Without you calling out to me..

Ignorance
My memory fades, inside this fantasy that remains,
Not everybody lives the life that the media portrays,
In these shadows our broken world stays the same,
How can we ever understand, when all thats left is the stains,
From the bloodshed, the battle between right and wrong,
We fight for a power so that our souls can belong,
I cant change the fact that the ignorance carries on,
So I close my eyes and float away from this world till its gone,

==
I'll reply in this thread with more works in progress as time goes on. For now please tell me if you like any of the posted verses...

Glenn
05-31-2004, 02:45 AM
WOW! Those are really good Derek! Delete the Pre-Chorus in "Letters from Afar," I don't think you have to add anymore to that one. I love the messages in the poems! :)

Omar A
05-31-2004, 03:11 AM
I liked all of them, but I really loved Ignorance.

Great Job

Michele
06-04-2004, 02:24 PM
I really like them ^_^ Espechially the first one, thats right on base with someone I know.. lol Good job! :D

Trish
06-04-2004, 02:44 PM
Wow Derek, they are amazing, the language and the words used in them just make them all so beautiful..

I like the first one the best ;)

Anya
06-04-2004, 11:53 PM
Wow, Derek. *is astonished* They're all good but I esspecially love Ignorance. You should try working on that one for a bit.

The Modfather
06-05-2004, 01:20 AM
Originally posted by Anya@Jun 4 2004, 05:53 PM
Wow, Derek. *is astonished* They're all good but I esspecially love Ignorance. You should try working on that one for a bit.
Ignorance was one of those once and done things where it got influenced by something I heard someone say, in this case a quote by Keaton.

I dont know about the others though, looks like its a split tie between Ignorance and Fool. Maybe I should combine them to make "Ignorant Fool" Ah Ha Ha. *cough*

arT saveS
06-05-2004, 03:08 AM
Wow, those are awesome. I agree with most, Ignorance is definately the best out of them all, but they are all awesome.

Atsuzen
06-05-2004, 12:11 PM
The first one was real cool. ;)

Andrea
06-05-2004, 04:41 PM
Awesome, Derek. I love all of them, especially Ignorance. :)

EngiShinnizle
06-08-2004, 06:49 AM
wow derek.....
thats really amazing !!!
i like ignorance most...............
keep da good work!!!!!!! :rawk: :rawk: