Washed

[BroknSolace]

Same as always, respond or dont..its up to you.. i just like posting... :)


Hold onto me
This road
Is long and trying
I never wanted to leave
Truth isn’t welcoming
I didn’t know it was going to be like this
If everything’s the same
Then I wish we could go back to nothing

I am so tired
So washed by your tears
There is a something more in me
And I want to disappear
Fall down, though I’m trying
Ill fall down, even though I’m trying

My last light
My own sanctity
There is too much for me to replace
I’m at the end of my sanity
We have so many flaws, so much hate
So many endless thoughts and time is a waste
But I think we knew that we could never be safe
There is a lot that neither of us will say

I am so tired
So washed by all of our fears
There is a something more in me
And I want to disappear
Ill fall down, as if I’m not trying
Ill fall down, and forget that your still lying

I wanted for everything to be right
You wanted a life that was nothing like mine
Something else must’ve gotten in our way
But we knew things would never be the same
I tried, and so did you
Still they managed to force their own agendas through
I cant deny the fact that you helped them
I know you will always be my one

I am so tired
So tired of lying
There is so much more in me
Slowly widening
Ill fall down through myself
I know I don’t exist
Ill fall down through myself
And it’ll be the end of it

[Missy]

This is probably one of my favorites out of the ones you've done. The only thing I would change is the "I am so tired" line. Instead of stating it directly, you could be more descriptive and use more emotive words. This is my favorite part:
I tried, and so did you
Still they managed to force their own agendas through
I cant deny the fact that you helped them
I know you will always be my one

[BroknSolace]

He hehe...neato..umm, i dont know what i could say instead of im so tired
maybe somthing like

My eyes are burning
So washed by all of our fears
There is a something more in me
And I want to disappear
Ill fall down, as if I’m not trying
Ill fall down, and forget that your still lying

or

I feel exhaustion seeping
Our life washed by all of our fears
There is somthing more in me
And i want to disappear
Ill fall down, as if im not trying
Ill fall down, and forget that youre still lying


...hmm, turns out i cant think of anything..oh well

[The Modfather]

Originally posted by BroknSolace@May 26 2004, 08:08 PM
My eyes are burning
So washed by all of our fears
There is something more in me
And I want to disappear
Ill fall down, as if I’m not trying
Ill fall down, and forget that your still lying
I like that one a lot. :)

[Missy]

Originally posted by Derek+May 26 2004, 09:47 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Derek @ May 26 2004, 09:47 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--BroknSolace@May 26 2004, 08:08 PM
My eyes are burning
So washed by all of our fears
There is something more in me
And I want to disappear
Ill fall down, as if I’m not trying
Ill fall down, and forget that your still lying
I like that one a lot. :) [/b][/quote]
Agreed. ^_^

[Leones]

Originally posted by Missy+May 27 2004, 04:26 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Missy @ May 27 2004, 04:26 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Originally posted by -Derek@May 26 2004, 09:47 PM
<!--QuoteBegin--BroknSolace@May 26 2004, 08:08 PM
My eyes are burning
So washed by all of our fears
There is something more in me
And I want to disappear
Ill fall down, as if I’m not trying
Ill fall down, and forget that your still lying
I like that one a lot. :)
Agreed. ^_^ [/b][/quote]
yeah, I agree too.

I like your poem/song. ^_^