Pretend

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Ether, Sep 29, 2005.

  1. Ether

    Ether Well-Known Member

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    Pretend
    This is dedicated to my uncle...Rest In Peace

    My eyes are sore, my hands are cold
    The thick dark mist rolls in
    My back it shivers, my teeth they chatter
    The time is now…it must begin.

    I grasp your hand, you clasp mine back
    Your head it rests down on my chest
    A single tear floats from your eye
    My heart just cannot say good bye.

    She said that it would happen soon
    I didn’t comprehend
    I thought that we had many years
    To laugh, to love, sing and pretend.

    The light flashed bright, it blinded me
    It happened all so fast
    The other car, it hit your side
    The moment wouldn’t pass

    I sit here now, my eyes are sore
    My hands are cold again
    My back still shivers, my teeth still chatter
    But now I can’t pretend…

    ..comments please...

    ^_^
     
  2. saunderitos

    saunderitos Banned

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    (w00t)

    i love it

    beautiful
     
  3. Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    Beautiful, I thought that in one or two verses the rhyming didn't really flow, but it was good on the whole.

    Edit: True, Saunderitos. So, this was really good.
     
  4. saunderitos

    saunderitos Banned

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    i think this is mroe a release of feelings than attempting lyrical greatness :unsure: i think anyway
     
  5. Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    it's just amazing, beautiful....great job...and sorry about your loss.
    9.9/10 ^_^

    sorry about your uncle, again.
     
  6. El Muerto

    El Muerto LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Yeah, sorry about your uncle :(

    It's so emotional. Good job ;)
     
  7. heshboy

    heshboy Well-Known Member

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    It's a strange feeling when you lose someone close to you, and just writing about it helps you exept that they're gone. Great job.
     
  8. Ether

    Ether Well-Known Member

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    Thanks you guys....you are all pretty much spot on, it was just to release the hatered for myself and stuff that I had bottled up all this time....

    So parts dont rhyme, its true, but not all parts need to rhyme.....right? :wth:

    Anyways, thanks for all your support, much appreciated!!!

    :D
     
  9. D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    WOW, really powerful,

    A beautiful piece of writting.
     
  10. Ether

    Ether Well-Known Member

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    thanks man ^_^
     
  11. GrafiTTied

    GrafiTTied Well-Known Member

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    pretty cool, keep up the good work
    loved it.
     
  12. Ether

    Ether Well-Known Member

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    Thanks....everyones comments have really helped ^_^
     
  13. lp_sk8ergurl

    lp_sk8ergurl Well-Known Member

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    That was really beautiful.
     

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