My Story and Coping

Hello family,

Been a Linkin Park fan since 2007. Younger brother was listening to Linkin Park cds on his walkman and I decided to see what the fuss was about. I was hooked when I first put in Hybrid Theory and never looked back. I created a lot of memories with Linkin Park over the years. They got me through a lot. I was so lucky to see them live on Chris Cornell's birthday at the Projekt Revolution tour in 2008. My first and only time, but it was the greatest concert I have ever been to. LP brought out balloons and cake to Chris on stage and the crowd sung happy birthday. There was so much love there. I wanted to see them more but life got in the way. College was an extremely busy time for me. I always wanted to join LP Underground and get the chance to meet the guys but never did so. I still listened to the albums, but if they came close to a concert, I didn't jump on getting tickets. I felt like I would wait for the next time since I already saw them. Was going to see them this August, but then it got cancelled. While I regret not seeing them after 2008, I will forever cherish that concert I did go to.

I know Im new here but I feel like I'm already at home. It's been a difficult month for all of us. I just want all of you to try to do your best to stay strong. Stay strong for your loved ones and for Chester. He wouldn't want us to give up.

My mind has been all over the place over the last month. This is not the first time I've dealt with something like this. First time was Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson is my favorite vocalist with Chester at number 2. To lose your top two idols in less than ten years time is really heart breaking.

*Sorry if I talk to much MJ coming up, but it's kinda deja vu and it's helping me cope.*

I don't want to turn this to be all about MJ, but I just want to give insight of what I went through during those tough times in 2009. In 2009, Michael was preparing to come back to the music scene, slowly but surely. He recorded new music and was getting ready for his This is It Tour. Just a few weeks before the tour was to begin, he passed away. This is similar to what happened with Chester. He was supposed to be in my town two weeks from when he passed. Looking back now it's like deja vu.

When Michael passed away, my world stopped. Couldn't believe it. It sent shock waves through my body and through the world. Google and Twitter stopped working. That's how big Michael was. It kept hitting me, it was hard to process, I kept hoping the news would turn out to be fake but it wasn't. My idol was gone. Michael had already accomplished the world by the time of his passing. He had already done everything he needed to do, but had so much to live for. I think the biggest pain I get, or we get from our artists are "what if." What if he was alive still? How would his new albums sound? How would his tour be? But with our idols, we tend to love the person more than the music itself. Michael had three children he couldn't see grow up. Again deja vu. Since Chester passed, I've had thoughts of what if he was still alive and able to overcome his demons. He could see his children grow up, more and more music would be made, we would still hear his beautiful voice. It's selfish to think those thoughts though. It all hurts and I've felt this pain before.

It deff takes time. It took me a good year to accept that Michael was gone. Every here and there, I still get these feelings. But it's hard to miss him when he's apart of everyday life. I can still here him everyday, I can still see his art everyday. With Michael, unreleased footage and music has been released throughout the years. While I'm sure Michael didn't want these songs to be released to the public, it was so satisfying to hear his voice again. It's so bittersweet but his music picked me up, just like Chester's. I know it's too soon to talk about unreleased music with Chester. There will be a different time and place for that.

The one positive I think about Michael and now with Chester, is that they don't have to suffer their pain anymore. The pain that dragged them throughout the years. I close my eyes and feel them at peace, both of them smiling and not suffering. With every idol I admire, the thing I want the most is for them to be at peace. While I wish Chester was still here with us, we have to remember that pain isn't with him anymore. His soul is free.

The best thing we can do now is keep Chester's legacy alive, which obviously everyone is doing a great job of doing. Linkin Park will go down as one of the best bands ever. Chester is considered to be one of the best vocalists ever. But as a MJ fan, even with his passing, I still created new fans with his music. I plan to do the same with Chester. Even after Michael's passing, there were people who still hated the guy. There will always be people who hate. You can't have love without hate. I've seen hateful things about Chester and Linkin Park to. The one thing I've learned with Michael, is that while there's love and hate out there, the power of love will always be greater than the hate. There are more fans than haters. It's so evident everywhere you look with the tributes, memorials, large crowds. These artists brought people together, and they will continue to do so decades after they are gone.

I apologize for rambling on about Michael Jackson when this is supposed to be about Linkin Park and Chester. This last month really hits close to him though from the last great artist passing I had to deal with and I hope you guys can appreciate where I am coming from.

*Musically on a side note though, would have loved to see MJ and Chester perform. I know totally different artists but vocally they are more similar than you think. I know Chester wanted to do a cover of Dirty Diana.*