Married or not, please read this and share.

Discussion in 'Random Chat' started by ZoeLinkingal, May 10, 2012.

  1. ZoeLinkingal

    ZoeLinkingal The Unforgiving

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    [h=6]Found on Facebook:

    **Married or not you should read this...

    “When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

    Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

    I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

    With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

    The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

    In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

    This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

    I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

    My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

    On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

    On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

    She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

    Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

    Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

    But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

    She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

    That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

    The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

    So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

    If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

    If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up..
    [/h]
     
  2. Minus

    Minus I am not Mike Shinoda. LPA Addicted VIP

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    Forward this to 20 friends or the ghost of loves lost will come and haunt you.
     
  3. Jesse

    Jesse Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

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    This may be considered as spam. Ask an admin.
     
  4. Ree

    Ree a female witch. LPA Administrator

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    Moving this to Random Chat.
     
  5. cradle

    cradle bittersweet and' cross that horizon LPA VIP

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    Yea I read the first sentence and got bored.
     
  6. Super Sonic

    Super Sonic The Hedgehog LPA Super VIP

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  7. Vriska

    Vriska Wiki Staff LPA VIP

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    My parents' divorce was the best thing that has ever happened to me.

    On a unrelated note, people still do chain mail? ._.
     
  8. Jesse

    Jesse Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

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    Unfortunately, Yes.
     
  9. Hybrid

    Hybrid Friendly Resident Ghostbuster LPA Team

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    I'm not gonna read the wall of words. Nothing personal, just not my thing...
     
  10. Star Scream

    Star Scream Does A Machine Like You Ever Experience Fear

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    i don't blame you

    but it's good that you posted this for people who are interested (i don't count as people)
     
  11. ZoeLinkingal

    ZoeLinkingal The Unforgiving

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    What the hell? How is this considered spam or chainmail? Did I say something will happen to you if you dont send this to 10 people?

    This is a fb friend's true story, please define your version of spam before you accuse me of spamming.
     
  12. Vriska

    Vriska Wiki Staff LPA VIP

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    Here is the part indicating chain mail, in addition that you just now admitted that the story is your friend's (or friend's friends? ) and not yours:
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2012
  13. Will

    Will bread crumbs & white stones LPA Addicted VIP

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    [​IMG]
     
  14. ZoeLinkingal

    ZoeLinkingal The Unforgiving

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    Of course it isn't mine because I'm not married yet.

    It is only considered a chain mail if I asked each recipient to send copies with the same request to a number of people with the threat of something happening to them if they don't!

    I don't understand what is the negativity against this thread. It is just sharing an experience my friend has. it is like sharing a past fault so that others may know and not make the same mistake.
     
  15. Minus

    Minus I am not Mike Shinoda. LPA Addicted VIP

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    Yeah. I know quite a few people who would have had a much rougher childhood if their parents stayed together. Staying together for the sake of the kid or any other bullshit like that is just wrong. How would you feel as a kid going, "My parents hate each other and forced themselves to live in the same house because of me?" I know I'd much rather live in an environment where everyone is happy than a forced one. I've seen what that does to people.

    "Oh and by the way, she had cancer the whole time." I'm sorry, but I'm finding it hard to believe that in the whole month leading to this guy's wife's death that NOBODY seemed to know that she had cancer. It doesn't work like that. What did she do, tell all her friends "Don't tell my husband I have cancer. I have to get him to love me again. Luckily he hasn't looked at the medical bills for the chemo I've been going through for the past year!" Either that or she found out about her condition and... decided not to treat it?

    Also this guy must be a crappy husband. "My wife has lost so much weight in a month that I can actually NOTICE it on a day-to-day basis. I'm falling back in love with her. Let's NOT discuss her unhealthy weight loss. It's okay to lose that much weight in a month just because of what I assume is stress."
     
  16. ZoeLinkingal

    ZoeLinkingal The Unforgiving

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    I am not the writer but she did pass away and what more can be discussed when she's already not here anymore? What more do you want him/me to say when he regrets it already? I'm sharing this so that others would not take their spouse for granted or neglect them.
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2012
  17. Minus

    Minus I am not Mike Shinoda. LPA Addicted VIP

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    Each marriage is different. If reading the story of someone else's marriage coming back together is enough to save THEIR marriage, they probably weren't at risk of getting divorced in the first place.

    I'm just saying. I've seen many a broken marriage. A story read online doesn't change the status of a marriage. Counseling does. Clear lines of communication. That's what this couple should have done. Overly pointless romantic gestures swinging on a medical condition that causes DEATH are fairly ineffective compared to actually talking your problems out.

    That and I wouldn't want to take the word of any man who would publicly admit to all of Facebook that he was cheating on his wife with a girl named Jane in a story about staying with his wife. Classy move.
     
  18. ZoeLinkingal

    ZoeLinkingal The Unforgiving

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    He did state only may.

    Most adults are conservative of talking to a family counselor about their issues. Listening an experience from another can spark them into thoughts (hopefully) of course, not everything is 100%.

    It's ok, I get it that you do not think this is a true story but you are not even present here so it's ok.
     
  19. Minus

    Minus I am not Mike Shinoda. LPA Addicted VIP

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    Most adults are conservative about talking to a family counselor about their issues. But they're perfectly fine admitting to all their friends and family on the internet that they were openly cheating on their spouses and considering getting a divorce.
     
  20. ZoeLinkingal

    ZoeLinkingal The Unforgiving

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    In the process of their marriage spiraling into divorce obviously they would not reveal anything outside. The deed is done now, what is there to feel ashamed/hide about? He doesn't want others to be like him, how many out there have used the internet to share their own experience and broadcast a message to help others? Many! Given a choice, most people will rather talk to their friends/relative/online friend than going to a counselor.
     

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