blood whispers

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by fallenangel, Jun 16, 2005.

  1. fallenangel

    fallenangel Well-Known Member

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    Blood whispers

    Blinding torture
    Swirling lights
    All this madness in my head
    Shouting loudly
    Pulsating wildly
    My blood coarsening through my veins
    Then it calms and starts to whisper
    Let me free
    I will let loose all those secrets
    That you want to see
    But I don’t want to listen
    Yet the whispers are convincing me
    Shouting
    Let me out
    Let me flow
    All the secrets that you want to know
    I still don’t want to hear this
    But still the blood gets louder
    So I grab the razor
    And plunge it deep
    Letting the blood whispers flow
    Waiting for the secrets to come
    But there’s nothing
    Only laughter
    In my head


    heres some more experimentation. i really don't know if this is any good or not but it just kinda came to me...

    any comments are most welcome :)
     
  2. lp_sk8ergurl

    lp_sk8ergurl Well-Known Member

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    Good job, you really made this one shine.
     
  3. D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    I liked your last one better, but that was amazing and going to be hard to top. Another great poem though. The ending didn't really make sence to me, "only laughter in my head". Mabye you could explain this to me.
    Great work.
     
  4. fallenangel

    fallenangel Well-Known Member

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    thanks lpsk8er for the feedback! you always give feedback to me and for that i am forever grateful. :D


    and david, i guess what i am trying to get across that when you are at that moment of wanting to cut, there is something or someone else inside your head telling you that it's good to do it but once it is done, that something or someone is laughing at you that you could be so stupid to think that actually hurting yourself would be a good thing.
    almost like having a split personality that one personality wants to hurt another.

    does that make any sense?

    i am glad you liked my last one and i did feel like the last one was much better. but i am also glad that you like this one too. ^_^
     
  5. lp_sk8ergurl

    lp_sk8ergurl Well-Known Member

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    I guess there are alot of good writers here at the LPA.
     
  6. arT saveS

    arT saveS Y2K

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    Wow. I like this one better than all of yours, it's extremely good, and I love how it flows. Great job, it's awesome.
     
  7. D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    as some one that doesn't cut i don't know the feeling, yet through this poem and with your little explenation i feel i can understand much better what it is like to cut yourself. Very insightfull. I say again, amazing work. ;)
     
  8. fallenangel

    fallenangel Well-Known Member

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    actually, i don't cut either but i have came so close on many occassion. this is how i thought it would be like if i did take it one more step further.

    gald you like it though.

    and fall.into.sleep i am really glad you like it too! i think this style of writing (so far) has been working out. :D
     
  9. Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    real intense...very very deep..i've felt like that but never hurt myself...great work! ^_^
     
  10. fallenangel

    fallenangel Well-Known Member

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    thankyou freakolp! so glad you liked it and thanks for visiting my thread! :D
     

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