Amy

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Nick, Jan 30, 2009.

  1. Nick

    Nick Great Job! LPA Super VIP

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    It's odd how a few words can inspire something like this to come out of me

    Oh and there's a reason this happens.
    It's so sweet, the truth?
    Never thought twice to return to him.
    Twice counted ten times and start again.

    This was not your dream
    This was your nightmare.
    Your biggest fear
    You wanted it every time.
    Never a thought of being mine.

    You sometimes recall time, slow, fast.
    You are now distant from me
    That will only last.

    Chances fade in the dust when blown away.
    Crawling through ash, you have spent your last token on love.
    It failed, and now you lose.
     
  2. Gloomy Mushroom

    Gloomy Mushroom Absolute Zero LPA Super VIP

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    To me, this didn't flow right and there wasn't any consistency. Well, that's just my opinion for you, but other than that I loved the metaphor "Chances fade in the dust" that was a real good mental image right there.
     
  3. Nick

    Nick Great Job! LPA Super VIP

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    It doesn't have to.

    To me, it flows.
     
  4. Dean

    Dean LPA Super Member LPA Addict

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    It flows really really well, to me.
     
  5. Daniel

    Daniel Run for your life. LPA Super Member

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    I like it, Nick. Whatever your particular "style" of writing is (don't quite know how to explain it), it really appeals to me.
     
  6. Will

    Will bread crumbs & white stones LPA Addicted VIP

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    ...:lol: This is like the pot calling the kettle black. How ironic.

    I liked it a lot, Nick. It was really good, as is almost all of your other stuff.
     
  7. Nick

    Nick Great Job! LPA Super VIP

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    Wow, thanks guys haha.
     

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